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eo a a na iL iS "A Family Tradition for 126 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, September 22, 1992 - 7 Andy had -* near Port Matilda, Pennsylvania inter- , + fered with by hydro wires. Not a bone in either leg went unbroken. '~.-]4-this a pair or what? Spin and "ey Ey A I I OT TR DY RGA GN ES I have a friend I shall call Akela who would be mortified if his real name, his city of residence and the details of his embarrassing accident showed up in a newspaper so let's just move ahead in this story to the point where we find him sharing a double room in the Hamilton General Hospital. (His real name is Tom Wilson, age 50, from St. Catharines, Ontario and he broke his shoulder when he got flattened in a stickball game with his Boy Scout group. His wife Carolin said: "Tell the world, it'll teach him a lesson.)" So Akela (Ah-kay-la-Cub Scout name for good leader) is harnessed to a hospital headboard unable to do a good turn when he meets his roommate Andy fous of Oakville. A glider pilot is perfect landing in a field Marty enter the age of thrill sports. -<Life.is short. Play hard. Wear your 'Ontario Health Card as a name tag. 'Several weeks, one ambulance ride and two air lifts later Andy is lying beside Akela and they're discussing which is the more dangerous -- a glider plane or a Cub Scout carrying a hockey stick and a grudge. Andy's legs look like they were re- built by Mr. Goodwrench -- two exter- by William Thomas HEADED FOR SURGERY? BRING YOUR TOOL BOX nal fixators, two 18" nails, pins, nuts and bolts. As painful as the metal con- traption may have been for Andy, Akela claimed he was actually able to bring in T.S.N. on his beside television without paying for a cable hook-up. Okay so I made that part up but the rest is abso- lutely true. As Andy explained, orthopedics is no longer the medical art in which the doctor sets a plaster cast and friends write obscenities on it in hard-to-erase places. Today it's the science of nails and screws, clamps and pulleys, vice grips and trailer hitches set in place by a hovering Sikorski helicopter. Hamilton's Dr. Lachowski, reputed to be one of the best in the business wasn't totally at ease with the re-con- struction job the American doctors had done, so Andy was brought down to pre-op and prepared for surgical adjustment. Now this is where the story gets interesting and why you should never try light-hearted humor on a dedicated doctor. Dr. Lachowski walked into the oper- ating room with his set of wrenches (I'm not making this up) to remove several strategic bolts which were not to his liking. His wrenches didn't work. The bolts holding the rods he wanted to replace, the ones inserted by the American doctors were Italian made. They were metric bolts. Dr. Lachowski's wrenches were imperial. "Well" said Andy, waiting to be anes- thetized, "you're going to have to run down to Canadian Tire to get yourself a metric set. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Andy was only joking. Looking at his watch and seeing it was already 8:10 p.m. Dr. Lachowski replied: "I guess you're right...and I can just make 1t." And with that the doctor dashed off to the nearest Canadian Tire store and Andy was left lying in pre-op wondering if humor really is the best medicine. Now I don't know about you but if I had to rank the pairs of hands I'd want my life to be in, neither Canadian Tire nor All State Insurance would make the top 10. I don't know what went on in the store but I can just imagine. "Excuse me, I'm in a bit of a hurry gould you tell me where are your Allen eys' "Alarm keys are in the hardware." "No, no, Allen keys?" "Alternators are in automotive." "ALLEN! ALLEN KEYS!" "Well you don't have to shout sir. I'm new, I'm new, I'm not deaf. Try custom- er service. "Excuse me...Allen keys or Allen wrenches? I've got a patient..." "Sorry, I'm on break." "Excuse me, allen keys?" "No such animal." "What!" "They're called hex keys now." "You have them? Great. I'll take a set." "Mastercraft of Fuller?" "It doesn't matter, I'm in a real hur- ry to..." iD. "Three, five or seven piece set?" "I don't know...give me the seven piece set." , "Will that be cash or cheque? "Cash, here take this and keep the change." "Do you have Canadian Tire coupons? No. Let me just leave..." "Do you have a Canadian Tire charge card?" o, look..." "How about our new Commercial Card?" "No, look I..." "It'll only take a few minutes to fill out the application." "I don't have that kind of time. I've got a patient..." "With the Canadian Tire card | Joi automatically become an Auto Club member." "Look this is a matter of life and..." "You get a $5,000 life insurance poli- cy if you sign up badny, "How about se ling me a gun? Preferably one that's loaded." "Hey, no need to get knobby, I'm just doing my job." It could have been worse. The doctor could have gone to K-Mart and Andy would have spent August in pre-op. And Dr. Lachowski did his job, remarkably well, according to Andy. Bumped by an emergency that night the good doctor and his brand new set of metric hex keys preformed the proce- dure first thing in the morning. Both Andy Gough and Tom Wilson are recovering nicely. Moral of the story? The tools you keep in the trunk of your car? They're not just for flat tires anymore. To the Editor: Had the labor legislation be- ing proposed by the Ontario government been in effect in the Northwest Territories the trag- ic death of nine miners would have beén prevented. The proposed legislation will prohibit the hiring of scabs and willing union members from re- turning to work until the strike is settled. It will eliminate the , power of management to use union busting tactics and pro- long strikes indefinitely. The loss of this power will encour- age the company to negotiate dispute settlements before they reach the strike state which in turn results in fewer work stop- ages and fewer man days of pro- | Letter S to the editor Tragedy preventable duction lost. In the case of the Yellowknife Giant Gold Mine, the mine would have been closed result- ing in the saving of the nine miners' lives. The effect of the Rae Govern- ment's proposed legislation will result in the economic loss to the company comparable to the economic loss suffered by its striking employees. I would suggest that strikes will then be settled in fewer than four days rather than be deliberately pro- longed for in excess of four months as was the case in Yel- lowknife. Yours truly, Roy Grierson Scugog should be known for its distinctive qualities To the Editor: The one thing that makes Port Perry distinctive 1s the fact that this is the birthplace of Dr. Daniel David Palmer. The pro- fession of Chiropractic was founded by Dr. Palmer. The suggestion that we are distinc- tive for our Purple Martin popu- lation is absolutely absurd. We are more distinctive for Ken's "Nuts About Chocolate", Doreen's Linens, and Barry's Peameal Bacon sandwiches. In the 16 years I've lived here I have seen millions of Black Birds and Gulls but the ciosest I've come to seeing a Purple Martin is passing a house in town with a sign advertising Purple Martin birdhouses for sale. There are 60,000 Chiroprac- tors who would be more than willing to send a couple of dol- lars to Town Council for a sign. Sincerely, Dr. Morley E. Pitts LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Port Perry Star encourages our readers to make use of the letters to the editor column to express their opinions and viewpoints on just about any subject, as we feel a lively letters column helps make a better community newspaper. We insist, however, that all letter writers sign their name. Sorry, no anonymo us letter will be printed. Remember When 2? w A group of Cartwright men are pictured above at the Barriefield Military Camp during World War 1. Identified is Clarence Ginn, second from the right in the back row. Can you identify any others? The museum would enjoy hearing from you. Call 985-3589. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, September 18, 1947 Mr. and Mrs. Wagg of Prince Albert were honored at a party before moving to their new home at London, Ontario. Miss Doris Duff of Myrtle Station is training for a nursing position at Oshawa General Hospital. October 19 has been set for the dedication of the new Scugog Church. Dr Donald Christie, Manchester, attended the convention for Veterinarians at Guelph. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, September 19, 1957 Tripp Construction Company was successful in receiving the tender for the construction of a supply system in the village of Sunderland. The Bell Telephone are working at laying the main underground service cables for the new dial system. The cable is being laid just inside the sidewalk on Queen Street. Hugh Baird of Blackwater is one of two Canadians competing in the 5th World Plowing Match at Peebles, Ohio. There are 13 other countries with entries. Port Perry Star is celebrating their 50th year in editing this newspaper. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, September 20, 1962 At the Legion Branch 419 ladies fall meeting Cmdes. Monaghan and McNenly were named delegates to the Provincial Convention in Niagara Falls. Carl Luke has been appointed as president of the Port Perry Softball Association. Malcolm Bailey won the Eaton Special for the highest number of points in the Cattle Class at the Port Perry Fair. Mr. and Mrs. Harold Kerry entertained on the PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8