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"A Family Tradition for 128 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, April 26,1994 - 3a Dear Mr. Justice Minister: May I call you Rock? Rock, Canadians are in shock. First Svend Robinson, a fellow member of your parliament, attended the doctor-assisted suicide of a termi- nally-ill Vancouver woman and the citi- zens of Canada were shocked. Here was a federal member of parliament with a principle and the guts to stick by it. It was simply something we hadn't seen for many, many years. Now Rock, it could be your turn to prove that not all members of our fed- eral government, upon arrival in Ottawa, check their backbone and com- mon sense in a locker at the bus station. : May I say on behalf of all reason- able law-abiding Canadians who have no aspirations whatsoever to rob a liquor store or blow the head off a bun- ny rabbit and call it sport -- WE DO NOT WANT GUNS IN OUR COUNTRY: DON'T WANT 'EM, DON'T NEED 'EM, DON'T TRUST 'EM, DON'T BUY 'EM, DON'T SELL 'EM, DON'T GET SEXUALLY EXCITED BY THEM, DON'T BASE OUR CONSTITUTION ON THE RIGHT TO BEAR 'EM, DON'T LIKE LOOKING DOWN THE by William Thomas LISTEN UP ROCK: PEOPLE ARE TALKING BARRELS OF 'EM WHILE WE'RE EATING IN RESTAURANTS OR WALKING DOWN STREETS OR SLEEPING FITFULLY IN OUR BEDS AT NIGHT. Get rid of 'em, Rock. Do one thing in your term of office that the majority of the people in this country want and deserve. One thing that we can under- stand and feel the immediate benefits of -- peace of mind. Do it now, Rock: one solid shot to the solar plexus of the criminals and the crazies on behalf of people who abhor violence and its evil instrument. Please Rock, make the beggars rob banks with stones, arms of chairs and Swiss Army knives. Then we'll sell the surveillance tapes to American's Funniest Home Videos. Do this Rock, and we'll put that pretty puss of yours on a postage stamp faster than you can say "forty- three cents." And not just hand guns or semi- automatics, Rock -- clean sweep, zero tolerance -- everything with a trigger, from muskets to super soakers and G.I. Joe hardware as well. We all know how to do it, Rock. And it's not that silly swap that Ontario PC leader Mike Harris is bab- bling about. Trading guns for tickets to professional sport events? Think about it Rocky, if they start trading weapons for Toronto Argonaut football tickets, people will turn their guns on them- selves rather than attend a game. No, the way to do it is easy, Rock, a tough resolution mind you, but a simple and easy implementation in two parts. September 1, 1994 any Canadian citizen or visitor or domesticated ani- mal found in the possession of a gun (anything with a barrel, a trigger or a bullet) is jailed for five years. Two guns, 10 years. No exceptions. Turn 'em in by the deadline or keep a bag packed and ready to relocate without notice. The multiples are elementary: displaying a gun 5x2, threatening with a gun 5x3, discharging a gun 5x4, wounding 5x5, and killing 56x10. Then you, Rock, as our minister of justice, instruct judges in the funda- mentals of the logically obvious - crimi- nals sentenced to years in jail serve (and here's where it gets confusing for judges) all of those years in jail. Every minute. Good behavior could be rewarded with solid food and a stamped postcard on Mother's Day. Of course getting rid of the parole board would result in the immediate loss of some of the best non-elected jokes in this country but the upside is, we'd save a lot of money. You'll take a lot of flack for the abo- lition of guns, Rock, so here's a few helpful tips. Hunters will say it's their right to have and use guns. Hunting rifles could be locked up at police stations, checked out and hvtd back in. And on time, otherwise -- OOPS! -- up comes that number five again. That and a new test added to the firearm application. Put each applicant on an ice flow with a hunting knife and a polar bear. Now, that's sport. In fact that's "Pay-For- View" material, Rock, and yet another new source of income. Others will criticize the added expense of building new jails. Here's where we do the swap; cons for cod. Now that there's no fish off Newfoundland we could build large new prisons in that province. I have a feeling Newfoundlanders could do a fine job of operating our correctional institutions with an added touch of nos- talgia. You know, once again make pri- sons an unpleasant place to be. Do this Rock and we'll nickname the whole damn province after you. Soon successful criminals will be doing T.V. ads like: "I just knocked off the CIBC -- I'm going to Disneyland!" After aboli- tion, they'll be going to "The Rock." Sincerely, WILLIAM THOMAS Rock, I swear I used to be a small "I" liberal not more than 10 years ago and now I'm looking forward to those times when Mr. Ellis comes back to town. Signed copies of William Thomas' book "Malcolm and Me" can be mailed direct to you by sending $22 to Malcolm and Me, P.O. Box 130, Port Colborne, Ont. L3K 5V8. Please include how you would like to have the book inscribed. Great Lakes 2000 Alex Shepherd, Member of Parliament for Durham joined Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Environment Sheila Copps in Toronto recently to an- nounce a $150-million federal Great Lakes 2000 program. Shepherd praised the efforts of Copps in launching a new era in cleanup and protection of the Great Lakes, pointing to the benefits of an improved ecosys- tem for Durham's shoreline. "The development of technol- ogies through the Great Lakes 2000 program will upgrade the water quality, especially along the shores of Durham and in the area of the Port Granby nuclear site," Shepherd said. Shepherd's riding is com- prised of approximately 40 km of shoreline stretching from Town Line Road in Courtice west to Northumberland. Copps told Shepherd the two would be sitting down at a later date to discuss how the cleanup of the Port Granby nuclear site and Great Lakes 2000 would be intertwined. The $150 million announced includes $127 million in addi- tional funds and $23 million for the continuation of activities re- lated to the development and demonstration of cleanup tech- nologies. This brings the federal gov- ernment's expenditure on the Great Lakes to $750 million over the next six years. "This shows the federal gov- ernment's commitment to the environment and sustainable development since new technol- ogies controlling pollutants can be used at home and sold world- wide," Shepherd said. The Regional Municipality of Durham PUBLIC NOTICE Take notice that the Regional Municipality of Durham is considering a by-law to name a portion of Regional Road 23 from the Uxbridge / Pickering Townline northerly to the Canadian National Railway line at Port Bolster as "Lake Ridge Road". The location of the renamed road is indicated on the map below. Kelly, Zuly, Greenway, Bruce D ° eo DURHAM Barristers and Solicitors REGION Motor Vehicle - Criminal - Personal Injury Wills - Real Estate - Family Law Corporate & Commercial EVENINGS AND WEEKENDS BY APPOINTMENT LAKE SIMCOE 114 King St. E., Oshawa 723-2278 BOLSTER TOWN OF GEORGINA BROCK EERE SRR REGIONAL ROAD 23 PROPOSED TO BE NAMED "LAKE RIDGE ROAD" SHER WR SER CR RR Sp QUALITY PARTS TY TOP QUALITY _ NAMES | oor es -. ETNA UXBRIDGE SCUGOG SEE EEEEs LAL TTT TTT We Have Coverage For Most Cars Or Usually Same Day Delivery. LONG LASTING ALUMINIZED EXHAUST SYSTEMS PORT PERRY MUFFLER & BRAKE SHOP 5 nN WHITBY In order to assist in the evaluation of this proposed by-law, the public i$ invited to provide input by way of submission to the Region's Planning Department. Information relating to the proposed by-law is available in the offices of the Planning Department, located at Box 623, 1615 Dundas Street East, 4th floor, Lang Tower, West Building, Whitby Mall, Whitby, Ontario L1N 6A3 or by calling Richard Szarek at (905) 728-7731 (Whitby Line) / (905) 686-1651 (Toronto Line). Submissions conceming the proposed by-law must be submitted to the Commissioner of Planning at the above noted address and must be received no later than Friday, May 13, 1994. Please include your address and telephone number in any submission made. Germri-Lynn O'Connor Chairman, Planning Committee i . $45 Clk BEE iE PICKERING BEE Tk TAT RRR 5 BETA { | i | 4 e Complete Exhaust Repair e Custom Bending * Brake Service * Shocks * Service * FREE INSPECTION 119 Perry St, Port Perry (across from liquor store) 985-0074 Dr. M. Michael, M.C.L.P. Commissioner of Planning