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8- PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, April 23, 1996 "Scugog's Community Newspaper of Choice" Provided a home for 65 children Local foster parents retire after 38 years of giving By Kelly Lown Port Perry Star John and Eva Catton have had a hand in rais- ing more than 65 children over the past 38 years, and wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything in the world. John and Eva Catton are honored by Children 'S Aid Society for their it to see the children grow up, many with ly when caring for newborn babies and those with special needs. "It really is a full-time occupation," Mr. Catton grandchildren of their own now, is worth all of it The Blackstock-area couple was honored by dedicated service to foster children and more, they say. the Durham Children's Aid Society last week But, after 38 years the Cattons are taking a for their dedication and service as foster par- ents. The couple received accolades from Prime Minister Jean Chretian, Durham MP Alex Shepherd and Premier Mike Harris, among others. For close to 40 years the Cattons have acted as surrogate parents to children of all ages and nationalities, as well as those with special needs. The Cattons, who recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary, decided one day in the late 50's to take a child into their home and give foster parenting an honest try. With her husband working afternoon shifts at General Motors, Mrs. Catton wanted something to fill her days, and saw caring for |g foster children as a way to do that. At the time |§ they had two young children of their own. 4 Some of Mrs. Catton's relatives had been |. foster parents when she was younger, and she felt drawn to children who needed someone to care for them. That instinct may have been in part because she considers herself lucky for having a stable, happy childhood, she says now. After the first child entered their home, foster parenting just became a way of life, the Cattons said. For most people, raising their own family is a big enough chore, but the Cattons continued to bring children into their home as the years || went on, even when their own family swelled to five children. In fact their youngest son, Clyde, came to their home as a foster child 27 years ago. When it came time for him to be adopted, the Cattons much-deserved retirement. They plan to travel, and just enjoy coming and going as they please. In 38 years the couple has not been able to leave their home to go anywhere that would not enable them to return the same day. When they headed out of house they always had to back at a certain time for one child or another. Even in retirement they will still spend their grandchildren to entertain. Being a foster parent is really a total family commitment, Mrs. Catton said. With five child- ren of their own, everyone had to help out at home. Their own children never begrudged another child coming into their home, she said. "It is so hard to see them go for both us and our own children," Mrs. Catton said. "They were just as upset as us when someone left. Every child that walked into the home was welcomed right off by all our children," Mr. Catton said. Catton's own children welcomed every foster child into their home The Catton's own children were made a big part of the foster family, with the Cattons holding meetings to discuss each child they may take in before accepting the responsibility. Foster parenting is not something one can made the arrangement permanent. Eva and John Catton were honored by the Children's Aid Society make a living from. While the Children's Aid Most of the children who called the Catton of purham Region last week after retiring as foster parents. The and ADHOC do pay for room and board of the residence home were preschoolers when they gjackstock area couple were parents to some 65 children over a children, it is not something you can get rich arrived. Some were adopted, some returned to their families, and some began school while still in the family's care. Some of the children who came to the Cattons as babies returned in later years to stay with them again. The longest tay for any child was two years, with the exception of Jamie, who has lived with the Cattons for 21 years. Jamie, who is afflicted with cerebral palsy and is almost totally blind, will be moving from his foster home, when an appropriate home is found. The Cattons are working with the Oshawa and District Association for Community Living to find a suit- able home for Jamie. Even when Jamie moves on, the Cattons will still be his "parents" and their home will Some children, who came as babies, returned years later to stay again. always be his. They will always ensure that Jamie is receiving the best care possible. As for the other children to leave the Catton home they may be gone, but will never be forgotten. They never for- get the names of the kids who have entered their lives, and keep scrapbooks filled with pictures of "their kids." "I enjoyed the kids so much. Each child had his own little personality that you remember," Mr. Catton said. Whenever it came time for a child to leave the Catton's home, the CAS would always update them within the next month on how that child was progressing in his new surroundings. 38-year period. Please see story. Many of these children still keep in touch with the Cattons today. They have even received letters of thanks from the foster childrens' families, expressing their appreciation for all the Cattons did for their kids. Not long ago the Cattons received an invitation to a wedding of one of their foster children, a girl they first took in as a baby. "She phoned and wanted us at her wedding. That was very special for us," Mr. Catton smiled. Whenever children left their home it was a sad state of affairs in their rural home, the Cattons said. "Looking after them is the easy part. It is watching them leave that is the hardest part of being a foster par- ent," Mr. Catton said. Before Mr. Catton retired from General Motors 11 years ago, he said he knew when he walked in the door if one of the children had left that day, because his wife would go on a cleaning frenzy. "The house would be spotless. I had to do something to keep busy and take my mind off it," Mrs. Catton said. One of the hardest days will be yet to come, when the time arrives for Jamie to move on. That's when the reali- ty of their time as foster parents ending will sink in. "You wouldn't want to be here the day he (Jamie) leaves," Mr. Catton said. Having the children in the home for several months was what the Cattons enjoyed. There was a time when they were also on a list for emergency relief for children, but that was not something Mrs. Catton enjoyed. The child would only be with them for a few days and be swept off again. They were gone before she got to know or help them, she said. Being a foster parent can be very demanding, especial- doing, Mr. Catton said. You sincerely have to want to help and see these children grow and prosper, he said. In the beginning the Cattons received $2 per day for each child that lived in their home. That amount increased over the years, but the Cattons always spent extra on the children. The money allocated to the couple covered room and board and medical expenses. Often though, the children arrived with insufficient clothing and they would all head straight for the mall. "You are never expected to pay any money on top of that (room and board) for the children, but of course you do," Mr. Catton said. Children are brought to foster homes such as the Cattons under varying circumstances, and for varying periods of time. The Cattons cared for newborn babies until they were adopted, or for children when a family was going through an illness or turmoil. And they even had a father and his two girls in their home for a period of time. No matter the circumstances, foster parents need a good sense of humor and have to be willing to work hard and dedicate their life to these children, especially new- borns and children with special needs. All of the children will always have a special place in the Catton family. "They have a way of worming their way right into your heart," Mrs. Catton said. "From the moment they walk in the door and you see their little faces, you never stand a chance," she added. When asked if he ever regretted being a foster parent, and giving up his freedom to come and go, Mr. Catton said there is only one thing he ever regretted: "When any of the children left." 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