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10 THE OSHAWA TIMES, Friday, October 23, 1959 MARY HAWORTH'S MAIL Lonely Wife's Lament Brings Criticism From Correspondent Dear Mary Haworth: I am the| wife of a Marine engineer, who sails the Great Lakes almost 10 months of the year; and the mother of his six children (grow- fog and grown). For years I've admired your sound advice. But now I dispute your partisan sympathy for the distrait wife--T.P., in your issue of Oct. 2--who swears she "can't take it any more," with her travelling husband away from home, months at a time. So she's lonely? Well, so are hundreds of other wives lonely, keeping the home together--who don't clamour for their husbands to forfeit job promotions and sal- ary increases won by years of] struggle, and start over, just to keep the Little Woman company. Certainly I concede that these long separations aren't easy, But is life easy in any circumstances? 1 know we miss a lot; but that's has to bear it. Wopld shipping can't stop, for instgnce, because torture myself imagining that my husband is unfaithful to me. KNOWS GETS LONELY TOO I know he gets lonely too, fed up and bored with the monotony of his work; and practically a prisoner in his cabin, night af- + ter night; when he would love to ing the success he has; the good salary he deserves; and the re- spect and trust of his employers. 1 should pressure him to give that up? He sacrifices a lot to give us a good home, decent education for the kids, a nice car (that he doesn't even drive)--because he's the generous, giving kind. So I do my share, too, and a little more; and I take care not to pants, figuratively speaking, in running family life, it doesn't fol low, necessarily, that she is a childish clinging vine and whiner. Some matrons are wife-women, primarily, in marriage. Others, by contrast, are decidedly more mother-women. THE IDEAL MATE The wife-woman is profoundly identified with her man, as if she! were an integrated part of his being, thus hardly able to func- tion as a Self in her own right, independent of him. Perhaps this feeling of here is a throwback to woman's primordial origin, as Adam's Ril, (taken symbolically or literally), : The mother-woman is rather a different sort, in the wife role. She finds a husband necessary to the begetting of children, and the provision of steady income. But worry him about home troubl that he can't help from a dis- tance, I put my trust in God; and He always gives me strength I need, to do what I must. I feel sorry for T.P.'s husband. He should have married a woman, not a clinging vine and a whiner. Mrs. HJ. ONE KIND OF VALOR ) Dear Mrs. H.J.: Obviously you are a valiant woman of a kind; and far be it from me to breathe |a word that might subtract from your sense of contentment, in otherwise she tends to take over- happily, on her own, in making the pattern of family life. Such a woman perhaps has found the ideal mate in a travel- ling man or sailor; because in his absence, he can persuade him- self that he is much more missed, |asperated with (the youngster, CHILD GUIDANCE How To Deal With A Child Who Cannot Concentrate By G. CLEVELAND MYERS Many a teacher is often ex- usually a boy, who is always squirming and wriggling. After play, when all the other youngsters are settled down for work, they may have to wait for this child to get in his place. He may often walk about to sharpen a pencil, or find other excuses to walk around. How much or his fidgeting is caused by creepy feelings inside, and how much by lack of reason- able discipline, is not easy to as- certain, It would be well if the teacher were to have this child carefully checked by the school physician or, through his parents, by the family doctor. Parents often write of such chil- dren, as in the case of a Min- nesota mother about her son, 11: "He doesn't seem to be able to sit or keep still for any length or time and has to be playing a game or romping around. POOR READER "He has a hard time reading and being able to understand the good company and a fine fellow dren. He seems to get along well with his friends wn playmates." getting paddled soundly if he quiet him for a while. Yet, if it words he is reading, as though more jittery later. he wasn't thinking of what he] Reading to him occasionally was reading but of what he could be much more 'quieting and| wished he could be doing. He also wholesome and so would playing shows no sense of responsibility. non-running games. . "Our friends and neighbors at| Be exacting at forbidding him times have remarked that he is(t0 rum, romp and roughhouse in- doors. A good penalty for such to have playing with their chil- may be his having to sit un- amused for exactly 30 minutes, My reply, in part: leaves the chair too soon. Viewing TV occasionally could SAME PENALTY The same penalty could be ef- is an exciting program, especially|fective for nis failing to go at, tof the Western type, he may be'and complete, a few assigned, sentimentally, than is actually the case. If he were on hand, the year around, he might get the distinct impression, and in. fact his wife might feel, that he was too much of a good thing; or too much in the way. (In the way, I mean, of her running the show--| as per her innate preference). M.H. Mary Haworth counsels through her column, not by mail or personal interview. Write her! in care of this newspaper. ~ HOW YOUR HELPS BREAK DOWN FATS making the best of a challengi life, with the help of Providence. But it could be that you are a| Laboratory very practical sort of creature, who sets most store by a man as a meal ticket; whereas Mrs. T. P. may' hunger more for food for the soul, in terms of close conjugal companionship with a cooperative spouse engrossed in the immediate concerns of life that also py her. ! be home, for Sundays, he oubl Just b a isn't the | anotor trips, even just a with us. He has been a long time build- matriarch type (as you may be), ready and willing to wear the 1aifi IN THE DIGESTIVE TRACT LIVER BILE tests have no that liver bile fats... actually breaks them down. It is an established fact that when liver bile is added to fatty solids, the fats are broken down and form a smooth, easy-flowing mix. In your digestive tract, liver bile helps break down fats the same way. 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