The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

A ---- et -------------------- ama ra ---- ' | A SATURDAY, MAY 28 BENNET CERF: Try And Stop Me VISITOR in a one-horse town asked the social leader of the community, "Why do all you ladies read the local newspaper so thoroughly when you all know anyhow what everybody in town has been doing all week?" "It's by reading the paper," explained Mrs. Big, "that we find out which ones got caught." * * * Bill Barker is one of the busiest men in Denver, Colo. At the moment, for instance, he is laboring 20 hours a day to dig up songs suitable for psychiatrists to shrink heads with. Prize discoveries to date: "Moon- light Neuroses"; Amnesia Days You're Gonna Miss Me, Honey;" "Asphasia Jolly Good Fellow;" "Here- dity Hop to the Barber Shop." * * * Ernie Kovacs has invented a new tonic that will grow hair on a billiard ball. "It works like a charm," boasts Ernie, "but I must admit it slows up the game." * * * Press photographs are a tough-skinned breed and let nothing stand in their way when they're after a picture. When Khrushchev visited San Francisco last fall a lens lion became embroiled in a battle with a butcher. "What was it about?" asked a colleague later. "He got sore about nothing," protested the photog. "I was just standing in his meat on the counter." In the crush, another photog. climbed over a recumbent female. "She's fainted," a reporter pointed out. "Either that," said the photog., adjusting his lens, . "or she's on sale." a ONTARIO TODAY "This is not what I meant when I said you could bring | home for lunch anything you fancied." "Yes, he is like his dad -- lying there on his back with bottle in his hand." 'Today's Crossword 2 3 4 ACROSS Don't leave the straight and narrow path? (4, 3, 3, 5) The answer here must be more than flat. (7) A dangerous chap to set up among the musicians. (7) Tests taken in mornings the past? (5) in 5 6 7 8 0 Well this may mean a good catch, (4) Normally it comes down, but up with part of 30 across (4) DOWN Caxton was the first here. (7) No truce can be made to 1."He's quite a card, this rascal. decide a close issue. (7) (5) One of quite a few to be 2 Instruction for which one might 18 knocked down. (7) get cautioned. (9) His movement lacks inspiration. 3 Stony address to one's friends. (5) None to give one a light here? 4 The University it seems, soon" (4) makes one more cheeky. (7) Administer a rebuff about such 5 Her dress made it clear the piles of hair! (4) lady wasn't fast! (7) Such building was simply mas- 6 One way to profit from a gin. 23 sive. (5) (4) Remove. from the mount. (7). 7 Try a 6 once more. (5) 2 A thankless person in any- 8 This has a debilitating effect 26 thing rated dangerous, (7) on the spirits. (4,5) Exit from 'a helicopter at sea 14 A sound reflection, yet invol- 27 perhops. (1, 4, 2, 3, 5) ving no thought. (4) 15 16 21 . the streets of Askelon. It's hardly an island. (9) They shouldn't make the re- i want to reverse them! 4 There's no objection authorities do house. (9) if the this to one's 20 Perhaps Ann with her twisted knee must come to breeches. (7) This was not to be done in (7) ""Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant * (Masefield). (5) A quiet lie this! (5) Mr. Squeers defined it os a verb active, to make bright. (5) Remove the hair--or possibly the ears! (4) JORDAN VALLEY STILL ROSE the wine that is your own new way to bring her a bouquet JORDAY VALLI You'll be glad you obeyed that impulse when her warm smile of appreciation rewards your thoughtfulness. Here is the new, the unique way to say it with roses: The delicate bouquet of elegant, longstemmed bottles of Jordan Valley Still Rosé! And then, let its subtle charm captivate her. Share its pleasures with each other only or let it spark an eve- ning of conversation with friends. Savour it throughout a meal for two, or let it heighten the feeling of festivity of a dinner party. Serve it lightly chilled in any glass, depending on your mood of the moment. One bottle of Jordan Valley Still Rosé gladdens four or five people, is abundant for two. Its modest price of one dollar is unmatched by any other table wine of its kind. Every day, more men buy Jordan Valley Still Rosé, to bring home as a surprise. Take your bouquet home tonight. Get it by the bottle or case of twelve at your local liquor store, or at Jordan Wine stores in Toronto, Ottawa, Timmins. ORDAN WINES