12 THE OSHAWA TIMES, Tuesdey, Dosember 15, 1964 Promotion Exacts Self Management By ROBERTA ROESCH If you want to be a leader fn your present or future job you have to lead--not lean on your co-workers. If you use them as props, your chances are all too great you'll end like one young girl whose real name we'll keep se- cret. We'll tag her Anne. "When Anne joined our or- ganization as a secretary, it looked as though she had every- thing,' her onetime superior told us one day. '"'Despite the fact she was very young, I decided within the first month that she was the girl to move ahead when the right opportunity -|came. "I'm usually right about those things, too,"' Anne's former boss continued. "But with Anne I was wrong--dead ¢tentre wrong --as I found out later on." As a secretary, Anne was tops. She took to taking orders like teenagers take to the Bea- tles. And she followed directions like a sightseer on a guided tour. JUST FELL APART But when she was promoted to a supervisory job, her pros- pects with the company did a flip-flop. She completely fell japart. "Luckily, I offered her the su- |pervisor's job on a trial basis |first," her ex - employer ex- \plained, "because leader s hip \certainly wasn't for Anne. It \didn't take me long to see she |would always need a prop. "When it came to dictating \letters--just as. one example-- |she always wanted her letters \checked before she sent them out, She seemed to live in con- stant fear she would dictate something wrong. | "The same thing was every |bit as true whenever I'd give jher a project. Before she would ldo anything on her own, she'd check every move with me, just jto be sure that she was right |before she went ahead. | "I wouldr't have minded if it only happeried occasionally. But she did it all the time. It got so I could have done her work my- self and saved the extra bother." | OUT OF REALM LOOK SOUTH At a showing of early spring and resort wear in Toronto last week, this suit in cotton | check with satin collar and bow, by Miss Sun Valley was endorsed by fashion editors as a good travelling companion for those headed south. C'EST PARFAIT Prepare this parfait to have on hand for quick desserts. Beat 1 can jellied cranberry sauce till smooth. Layer in parfait glasses with vanilla ice cream. Freeze till § minutes before serving. NEW. LARGER LOCATION 10% KING ST, WEST Phone 725-0444 OPEN FRIDAY NIGHT Decisions, too, were out of Anne's realm, according to our) linformant. She never made a {decision one day if she could jput if off to the next. And even jihen she'd ask for advice from janyone who'd listen. | "I couldn't spoon - feed her |forever," her former boss said, "so in the end I let her go. But |I hope she learned her lesson." | Hopefully all young workers, jor employees of any age, will \learn this much needed lesson, ltoo, if they're learners instead of leaders. You can't have a nursemaid jforever. You have to walk alone! REMOVED ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: The woman who described herself as "a mother who sacrificed everything for her children and received nothing in return" is responsible for my first letter to a newspaper. It is my obseryation that these self - styled sacrificing mothers make emotional crip- ples out of their children. Their favorite theme is, '"'Look what I've done for you. Now do something for me." The "sacrificing mom' at- taches herself like @ barnacle. If a child shakes loose and be- comes independent, "sacrific- ing mom" tries to make him feel guilty for "neglecting" her. My mother was one of those "sacrificers." It took years of therapy to straighten me out. I vowed if I ever had children I would never make them feel obligated to me. And I've kept that vow. I ask my children for nothing, yet they are attentive, considerate and loving. | Please, Ann Landers, keep} telling mothers to live their own lives and leave their children| ask than that their children} STRINGS ATTACHED Dear No Strings: You have given your children a legacy of straight thinking to hand down to their children. How wonder- \ful for all of you. Dear Ann Landers: You are no friend to women, believe me. I almost dropped my eyeglasses in my coffee cup when I read your attack on wives who some- times overlook a missing shirt button. I'm beginning to wonder if you have all your buttons, Ann Landers. It so happens that my hus- band is an absolute nut about his shirts, so I check them care- fully before I place them in the drawer. But what can I do True Mother Love Makes No Demands weight and that his collars are getting tight. : Unfortunately, I'm not a for- tuneteller and I can't tell from looking at a button whether it's going to be equal to the strair. Please set my husband straight. --SWEET ADELINE Dear Addie: Sorry, Doll, but you don't need a crystal ball to check a button. All you need is a couple of fingers. When you feel a weak little fella hanging by a few threads get busy. A stitch in time can save more than nine. It can save a big fat fight. Dear Ann Landers: My 12- year-old son is missing out on so much boyhood fun it is heart- breaking. Danny would never go to camp or spend a night away from home because he wets the bed. When we got to visit rela- tives I carry a rubber sheet along, which is very embarrass- ing for him. I have taken Danny to two doctors and they can find noth- ing physically wrong with him. I've tried pills, alarm devices and a dozen things advertised alone. What more can parents) ij magazines and papers. Noth- A few friends who | : : 1 |are also their friends? --NO/have had the same problem tell ing works jme Danny will outgrow it. PRESENTS ge A Elavoured Wine "SERVE COLD ON THE ROCKS OR WITH YOUR when he puts on a shirt and a |}button pops off? | | Last week it happened twice) jand you could have heard him) hollering a block away. He re-| fuses to admit he has put on! «from KARN'S | FAVOURITE MIX" LONDON WINERY LTD LONDON ONTARIO CANA GIFTS | PERMANENTLY Superfluous Hair By Electrolysis | and the new- | est, fastest, | ' New KREE IM- PERIAL short- wove, reveal. ing your true self, free of worry and em- barrassment-- Over 15 years' experience. MARIE MURDUFF will bein Oshawe et the Genosha Hotel, Dec. 14, 15, 16 |) PHONE 723-4641 for appointment on these dates Perfumes BY BOURJOIS and Colognes $1 to $6.00 Gift sets from $1.75 to $5.00 28 KING ST. EAST PHONE 723-4621 EXTRA MONEY Sell Those "Don't Needs" With TIMES ACTION WANT ADS Telephone 723-3492 Xe Why would a child. almost in his teens still wet the bed? What can be done? -- HELP HELP HELP Dear , H, H.: Now that the doctors have ruled out the pos- sibility of a physical problem, face up to the fact that Danny's bed-wetting is a symptom of an emotional problem. He is troubled about some- thing and needs special coun- seling. Ask the schoo] principal to direct you. Your friends are right when they say Danny will eventually outgrow it. But outgrowing a symptom is not the same as solving the problem, and this should be your objective. Four-Part Harmony Cheers Members Of White Cross About twenty-five members of the Oshawa Chapter of the "California Here I "Hard Hearted Hanna," 'Baby Face," Song," and the barbershop yer. sion of "The Battle Hymn of|tenor; the Republic," under the direc-|Eric Booth, baritone, and: Ver- tion of Mr. Eric' Booth, Come," |of the Oshawa Chapter's three quartets, 'The Sportsmen," con- sisting "of William Corbett, Bert Hutcheon, lead; "Spiritual Animal non Osborne, bass. were "Jingle Bells" and "It's Beginning to Look Like Christ- mas." The evening was brought to a pleasant close with refresh- ments served by White Cross Society ior the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America, presented an evening of old fashioned four part harmony, Thursday night in Simcoe street United Church hall, at the Christmas party for the mem- bers of the White Cross organ- ization. The audience warmly receiv- ed the lively renditions of: Don't Know the Size? 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