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ANN LANDERS Stealing Bases Leads To Trouble Dear Ann Landers: I am a 13- year-old girl with a problem you have never heard of before. I have a boy friend who is also 13, very good-looking and nice. I get to see him in the. evening about twice a week outside of seeing him every day at school. Yesterday my girl friend (who is 14) asked me how I was get- ting along with Tom. When I told her "just fine' she asked if I had let him get to second base - yet. I didn't want to seem dumb so I just smiled but I really don't know what second base means. She looked at me kind of funny and said, "I can tell by your answer that Tom is still at first, base." I hope you won't think this problem is too dumb to answer. ' Iknow the facts of life but I don't know what this base stuff is all about. Please smarten me up.--Stumped in Stamford Dear Stumped: Maybe the bases are numbered diffferently in Stamford than they were in Iowa where I grew up. But no matter what the numbering sys- tem may be I strongly recom- mend that you get out of the lineup and stay on the bench for a couple years. Errors can be mighty costly, Toots. Dear Ann Landers: The séa- son of "worthy causes" is upon us.and I am sick to death of it. Please, please tell us what to do when boxes of uriordered merchandise come to the house. A few years ago I was soft- too) because I sent a "'dona- tion" for a couple of items--not that I needed them but because the charity sounded like a worthy one. Is it true that once you get on a sucker list you are stuck be- cause one outfit sells the names to another? I think it must be true because I've been deluged with junk from all sides. I'm sick of paying postage to return stuff I didn't order. My neighbor says I do not have to return anything. My husband says I do.--Fish Dear Fish: You need not re- turn the merchandise. Don't use it, however. Throw it out. Dear Landers: My one and only precious daughter, Lila has seven gorgeous children. She also has a devoted husband who is an excellent provider-- something 'I never had. I've always been self-support- ing and still am.-I had to go to work when Lila was a baby so CHILD. GUIDANCE By GARRY C. MYERS, PhD What we read in the papers about children is-nearly always something they do that comes in conflict with the law. We rarely read of their failure to work hard, failure to share in the drudgeries of the home, failure to take responsibilities. Yet more parents are worried more about what their children) don't do than what these. par- ents want them to do. Indeed, many letters I receive from parents tell of their diffi- culties at getting the child, especially of school age, to do what they want him to do. Specific Obligations j } i | going at their homework and doing it faithfully; . following simple routines' of personal cleanliness and tidiness; getting themselves ready for school on time; taking proper care of their own things, etc. innt. try. Wef the. ohid, hae e has absolutely no brains at all. He does not exert himself ia iis scuooiwoia. "He could do better but does in genious ways of earning money, but never corhpletes the job he sets out to do. I've never seen him pick up a book to study without being told to do so, He has to be told constantly to brush his teeth and comb his air. "I am a working mother and| try my hardest to help my chil- , oe Sometimes I feel it's a losing battle. Si am very Adisappointed ia and spill ast Malle EC masewe hardly try to do° everything 'for himself ar me, even with en- couragement. ois sets the pace for the younger ones and, of course, they treat him like he treats them. There is constant battling. I would appreciate an answer." RESTRAIN CHILD My answer in part: Any parent may face many jor all the problems you report. dren with all their problems. Their solutions depend on how skillful the child's parents are| THE OSHAWA TIMES, Wednesday, November 24, 1965. <e in restraining him, when re- streints are desirahle in. win- ning his and in in- ducing ar requiring him to do what he. would rather not do. If you parents still have ef- fective. control, assign each child in- accordance with age and ability a few regular jobs he can't escape any more than /breathing. When any youngster fools around or neglects his chores, require him to sit un- amused, doing nothing, where you can see him, for a definite period of ume--trom 13 to 3U minutes,-accerding- te age.- SPECIFY DUTIES " Don't expect any child just to stand around ready te help when called upon, Let him know beforehand exactly what and when he has # job to do, for a week, month or year. When he volunteers to help at other times or chooses to help when re- quested, express strong appre-| BOW special r ciation. Wonderful when yout eldest volunteers in ways which powal anites. - 7. 'No doubt the eldest boy f he does not stand as weii in family as the other children which could help explain 'his be? ing bossy to his younger brother Dad might do most in building up this older boy, going, place with him only, treating him ag his eldest son. . Nor is it easy for anybody to give workable advice to parents whose children shirk such re- sponsibilities. 1S PROBLEM A mother in Florida mentions many hard problems for par- ents to solve: , "The child I am concerned about is my son, 11. The child is very bossy to his brother, 8%, 2 = 1 | | EATON'S Some examples: Children not doing regular chores about the home and sharing in the home drudgeries; and sometimes to hig sister, 6. He's lazy, has to be told many times to give a hand around the house and sometimes acts as if I was denied the pleasure of staying at home and enjoying her formative years, but I feel every close to her now. Now Lila wants to work as an aide in a nursing hom prove herself," she says. W in Gad's name she is trying to prove is beyond me. Don't you feel that a woman with seven marvelous children has proved enough? Perhaps she got this crazy idea because her youngest started school this fall and for the first time in 18 years her nest is empty. I feel that nurse's aide work would be degrading VADIANT CLEANERS NOW HAS 2 CONVENIENT LOCATIONS @ 1120 Simcoe St. N. 728-2361 @ Oshawa Shopping Centre 725-1023 for pick-up and delivery coll 728-2361 to a woman of her social status. Whad do you say?--Massachu- setts Mother Dear Mother: There's an old Haitian proverb. "Shoes alone know if the stockings have holes." And what you don't know about your daughier, even though you think you are "very close," would fill a book. It'is how Lila feels that mat- ters, and obviously she feels un- fulfilled. There is nothing de- grading about serving the sick-- in any capacity. Women Can Enter, Re-enter, Teaching Field Almost At Will By ROBERTA ROESCH If I had the nine lives that we are told a cat has, I would certainly spend a good part of one working as.a teacher, since teaching is a field that women can enter and re-enter almost at will, according to the course their life takes. In fact, in just one hour this week, I met t women who proved this, each in her own way. The first was a retired teacher of 65 who had taught on and off for most of her life. She was widoweds twice and she had returned to her profes- sion each time. At "And even now I'm still re- teer basis that college gradu- ates, such as these women, can fill. But my mailbag shows me regularly that it is difficult for many of these women to know about all the many programs now available that permit col- lege graduates to prepare for teaching. | To make the many avenues to teacher certification - better known, a new _ organization called "Catalyst" working with women, educationists, employ- ers and Natiénal Education As- sociation to help mothers and wives, who wish to combine family and cdreer, find access to educational and vocational opportunities in teaching. CANADA'S CHRISTMAS STORE One-stop gift-shopping for everyone on your list ! A 80 Departments to serve you A Down Payrgent A open Until 9 P.M. Thurs. and Fri. Nights FOR YOUR HOME WARD'S C ristmas LARGEST Selection \ Budget-Charge Terms available with No SPROULE'S Super Save Compare 22¢c -- Super Save Quality For Every Budget "MILIUM" INSULATED out eold in winter; hot sun in summer, FIBREGLASS PERMANENT A new drapery febrie thot"s easily kept clean; washable; attractive end durable. READY-MADE ECONOMY Here is @ vast selection, ready-mede in most pepulor sixe ranges fer 1 by | yet fi turning to it," she told me, "'be- eause, since my _ retirement, I've signed up with six schools as a substitute teacher so I get called to a classroom nearly every week." The second woman, nearing 80, was radiant because she has received her final certification SEXES TAKE SIDES HERNE BAY, England (CP) The Ladybirds women's soccer team nearly broke up when no other team would agree to play them. However the team now is in training for its first fixture, against the men of a local bus tm teach high school mathe- matics. "I majored in math in col- lege," she. explained, "but I never worked until I needed money to help educate my daughter. Then I had thought I would look for an office job, since I had no training to teach. But when the president of our board of education heard I was looking for something to do, he said I could be placed in a teaching job: on a pre-certifica- tion basis while I took evening, weekend and summer courses to become fully certified. - "T have been teaching that way three years,' "and now I am set for life." WORKS PART-TIME The third woman, I met in| the course of that hour was a youthful mother with four chil-| dren in elementary school. "This year, my last child en- tered first grade," she an-| nounced, '"'so I returned to school myself as a remedial reading teacher two days every week." All over the country, Enjoy The Greater Happiness of a Better braemor gardens Come ond inspect Oshawa's most convenient community at Stevenson Road "North end Annopolis. You'll like whot you see! she added, | there } are teaching opportunities on a) full - time, part - time or volun- | company. CUSTOM MADE-TO-MEASURE From the finest tailored to your taste; to fee your oo. 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