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GG THE GSHAWA "TIM, Weanestay, Secomber 12. 9988 CHILD GUIDANCE A Child's Self-Defense Is An Important Need GARRY C. MYERS, PhD |ating things with tools they will ecently we discussed the| admire, very hard problem which many parents write about, of getting the child who seems not to strive at school learning to strive harder. 'Another problem many par- ents write me about that's hard to answer is of the youngster who doesn't stand up for his own tights, who won't try to defend Himself. Usually it is the child ander 12 or 14 years of age. 'Often it is the youngster in constant fear of other children of his own age or older. He may let children no bigger than him- self pummel him, tease and tor- ment him unmercifully. He may run away crying, or fight back with ugly words or sticks and stones, or fight them from am- bush. He is a very unhappy child. 'Often this child, typically a Hoy, will prefer to play with) bullies. girls and children younger than} One thing of which these par- | fimself or much older children.|ents should be vigilant is of} He usually feels relatively safe|their son's inclination to be ag- | with all of them--the girls and| gressive toward other children. younger boys tend to let him) Often the very timid lad is ag- have his way and the older boys) gressive when he thinks he can} may tolerate and protect him.|do so safely, as when at home| Usually the father of this 'non-|With other children there. resisting boy, being disgusted) Indeed, this lad may, in his} with his cowardice, will urge|wish to seem brave, often pro-| Him to hit back no matter what! yoke other children to wrath by | the odds against him are. | what he says or does. "Some dads even punish the} There is also the child, girl young son for failing to defend/or boy, so good-natured and) himself. Such treatment by the| willing to. please other children | father may render his timid|that many of them impose on) s0n's plight hopeless. | him. At the age ths eight | " or.9 he may be enlisted to run) ENCOURAGE DEFENCE .,|all sorts of errands for other The father would be wiser if| cniidren and to do drudgeries hé were to encourage his son to/ror them. Sometimes this child) strike back with his bare hands | pets a reputation as an easy| and to stand in self-defence only} park. when attacked by another boy of his age and size, even then) PARENTS' QUESTIONS not to press this timid boy too) Q. Since chairsitting is so very much to take a stand when he/effective, why don't more moth-| felt sure he couldn't win. lers use it for punishment of This father might be wise in|young children' a4 trying to induce his son when| A. It seems so simple and mild) feeling overwhelmed to retreat|that many parents don't use it} but to say nothing then or fight/ consistently and often enough to} with sticks and stones and never|see its effectiveness. Besides) from ambush. \it's easier for them to shout and 'Meanwhile, the father of this| screech or whack the youngster. | véry fearful boy should try to! | help him get hardened to little bumps and injuries. When a boy ne easily cries over a little pain or PORT ARTHUR, Ont. (CP) supposed pain he invites other|Agnese Todesco, 19, is the first boys to tease him and make | college student not from Thor- js = ie to bo this | Ont., to win the Ontario e father needs e | , lad spend more time with other|?2!e? Company's scholarship. boys of his own age and to learn Now studying languages at the skills they will respect and ad-| University of Western Oniario, | mire. While play skills might/the Italian - born girl is the impress them most, he might|daughter of a Heron Bay town-| also have other skills as at cre-'site employee. | Coaliug Nitto Buy Quality at Black's Shirts by Forsythe & Hathaway Colognes by Jade East & Cance Sportswear by Jantzen Sweaters by Gino Paoli, Tony Day, Jay-Berma, Parker of Vienna Handsome TV Gowns Shoes by Sioter- Hats by Dobbs Cuff Link Sets styled for Black's Gloves & Vests See our Leather Counter Gift Certificates NEW FORMAL WEAR & RENTALS When this timid child comes home crying because of what other children did to him, his clines to pity him, even to go out and scold these other boys. As you can see this is about the} ang possible thing for her to 0. 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