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10 'THE OSHAWA TIMES, Mondey, August 22, 1966 ANN LANDERS Readers Join Debate in-| "'solution" will create a whole marriage (she signed her- "Getting Notions") pro- 0 an enormous amount of comment from readers every- where. The expressions ranged way from, "It's about had the back- ting} so and my life is far more re- ig so rot- ten." Hundreds of women wrote, "Tt was a tremendous relief to know that someone else has the problem. I thought I was the only one." it might be both interesting and instructive to share some of the comments with you: From Rochester, Minn.: God bless you, Ann Landers, for having the courage to print that letter and your advice. For years I felt that our marriage was a fraud and that I was something of a freak. My per- spective is much healthier since I read the letter and your an- swer. Asheville, N.C.: If you print any more dirty letters like the one signed 'Getting Notions" I going to cancel our sub- scription to the paper. Boston, Mass.: Please air- mail at once the name of the city where the letter signed "Getting Notions" originated. I am sure it was written by my wife who is telling only her side of-the story. If I could prove it I 'tould throw her out and take the kids. That broad has been getting more than notions and I = fed up with 'her double- ta Niagara Falls: I hope the band rill not seek a solution in extra-marital affairs. Such a new host of problems. I'm in the same boat with 'Getting Notions" and believe me there are more than two of us. But I have learned that while sex may be an important part of marriage, people can live with- out it very nicely. I have done warding than the lives of some of my friends whese husbands are great lovers--but nothing else. A | Orlando: Please don't tell women with cold husbands to see a physician or a clergyman for counsel. I did that and, be- lieve me, I've never been s0 humiliated in my life. The cler- gyman thought I was making for his assistant--so they could both listen to my problem. The physician got the same idea come and take notes on our conversation. It never occurred to me that a woman might use a sexless marriage as an invi- tation, but apparently it has oc- curred to my minister and my physician and I think I scared them to death. Schenectady, N.Y.: Tell "Get- ting Notions not to bother about seeing a doctor. What she really needs is a lawyer. I know because I've been there. My husband and I are in our early 40s. We were happy to- gether for 17 years. He begged me to understand -- and he had "a problem." Well, I learned that his "problem" was a shapely brunette six years his senior. Her husband hired a private detective and caught them in a little love nest across town. My husband thought he had a problem then. I wonder woman with the indifferent hus- what he thinks he has now? CHILD GUIDANCE a pass at him. He was out of| | his study like a flash--looking| / CHAIN LOOP COLLAR Chain Loop Collar, who could have thought that such EVENIN G GLASSES a simple design could look so effective? If you wish instructions please send self-addressed, stamped en- velope and ten cents to cover cost of handling to the Needlecraft Department of this newspaper, asking for Leaflet No. C9263. The OSHAWA BUSINESS COLLEGE NEED TWO MARRIAGES Offers Business Training On CHATHAM, Ont. (CP)--You TUESDAY and THURSDAY Heated by Clean, Silent (Gonsumers' FEATURING THE Registered Exterior It's Hard To Be Impartial Where There Are Many Children may have to marry again be-| fore you bring your Asian bride|? to Canada. Karma Vir Singh Sangwan, 24, formerly of New Delhi, found Canadian regula- evenings 7:00 TO 9:00 P.M. > ' » ' Cholee of subjects:--Business me- chines; ping; Accounting; Dicteting Machines; Clesses for courses. By GARRY C. MYERS, PhD In a family of several chil- dién, sometimes one of them is imposed on by the rest of the fafhily. This happens for vari- ous reasons. The imposed-on elfid may have skills and abil- ity and willingness none of the other children have. This child may shoulder responsibilities weil A girl, 11, sent this letter: *Mary do this, Mary do that, that's all I hear each day. When I am doing the dishes someone calls, 'Mary, go down cellar and get my shoes.' it couldn't be Cathy or Ar- dith, but Mary do this, Mary 4G that. When I am outside playing, someone calls again, 'Mary, watch your little sister.' Na, it couldn't be Ardith or y ly, but Mary do this, Mary #When I am ironing, someone is, 'Mary, go upstairs and get my blouse and iron it.' No, it*touldn't be Cathy or Charity, bit Mary do this, Mary do t. Sometimes I wish my name wasn't Mary." © doubt Mary often asks why some of the other children shuld not be called upon more offen. Sometimes she may at- gue over the matter but go on b@ng a 'willing slave." When one child in the family seems v@ry dependable it is easy for the parents and all the rest of the family to impose on her as Mary thinks she is imposed upon. VE CONFERENCE f you have several children iff your family, it would be well fer you parents to sit down to- gether in private and ask your- s@lves whether one of them is Pie dog unfair burdens in the y- ere may arise a problem en one child is asked or told t@do something. Then you may » Boeing to make a long ex- nation or get into an argu- ment. jometimes a younger child 1 then volunteer to do it, not ogt of kindness but to win si- lent or expressed approval. cordingly. There is no better way to| tions did not recognize the In- arouse jealousies. Often then|dian family ceremony so the the resisting child may dis- cover new ways to escape co- second marriage before a! operation and obedience. Sangwans had to go through a judge. beginners end refresher FREE LITERATURE AVAILABLE REGISTER NOW As a rule, when you make a request or command of one|average family have the TV set child, expect him to carry it/turned on? out. Don't let another child vol- unteer. Afterwards think over the matter and ask yourself if you have been fair and just, and guide your future ways ac- day. This means that for six hours a day practically nobody in this family is reading CLASSES COMMENCE TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 13th your future is up to you. 10 SIMCOE ST. NORTH DIAL 725-3375 A. An average of six hours a , , > ) J » ' Often among. several play- mates there may be one child so willing and cheerful that the other children impose on him or her. They have this willing child run errands for them. This practice is bad for the willing child expecting to be a servant of the rest and for the other children practising in self- that. fishness. DISCOURAGE IMPOSITIONS Seeing this practice among playmates of your child, take note and engineer ways to dis- courage it. Some adult neigh- bors may impose on your will- ing child. While it is wholesome for your child to be readily helpful to adult neighbors, when this child is them, protect him or her. imposed on by A parent may encourage this imposition on her child. How often this parent may suggest or command her child to run all sorts of eyrands for a neigh- bor--"Run over to the store for Mrs. Karmansky;" 'Watch the baby for her;" "Here, Mrs. Snow, let Molly do that for you." Often your child may resent such offering of their free serv- ices. If he does not readily ac- cede or do the suggested deed, you may consider him stub- born or disobedient. But don't children have a keen sense of justice? Except in emergencies, let your child decide whether he wishes to volunteer or not. 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