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Acton Wednesday Jan Smiley and wife plot about his retirement PPlc keep asking me But what will you do you retire It always the rather petulant way suggesting that I will immediately come senile die of sheer boredom or wcurnb instantly to some unknown disease These ideas are gross canards Ira punted people whose retirement Is far often by Jewish writers who ve an overwhelming sense of guilt because they put their old man in a nursing home he Interfered with lifestyle They didn dare try to put their away In the first place it none of their business Maybe I II grow a beard get drunk for three months take a 20year old mistress never wear a tie again and write dirty poetry Maybe I II turn into a clay looted pillar of the community serving on com running raffles trying to teach that a past participle is more important than a past bank hold up and attempting to beat the toughest garni townDeath II cultivate my own garden as Voltaire suggested Perhaps I do all the things mother tried tried is the key word to prevent me from doing swimming on Sunday hanging around the poolroom drinking anything but tea I she had a few drunken uncles Maybe I kick up my heels entirely go around barefoot use a lot of four letter words never change my under wear leave my wife in pitiable financial circumstance buy a raincoat and go flashing the park Before you call in the take a deep breath I not likely to do any of those things or only a few It happens in novels but not often in real life 1 11 probably just go on being Bill Smiley confused angry happy lazy hopeful pessimistic sweet sour greedy generous stupid about some things bright about others a good grandfather a lous husband a soso father an illiterate scholar an observer of the trivial you name it I ve got it The poss ties of retirement of course are boundless and fascinating M wife is scared stiff because difficult enough to dominate on weekends let alone the forever that is retirement On the very rare occasions when we exchange heated words three or four times a week I have the trump card I merely say 0 You take your blank house and your blank car and your blank blank bank account that requires a careful tongue and 1 11 take my pension and move into a boarding house That usually makes her trot out into the kitchen and start making a pumpkin pie or something She knows the boarding house is right across the street and all I d have to do pack a bag and my and there I be fifty yards away watching as she sank into genteel poverty unable to pay the gas bill the taxes the plumbers and electricians and TV repairmen and all the other ghouls who haunt us But 1 think she s planning counter measures It a bit like the Russian KGB and the US CIA Vie respect each other but plot She been buying tools hand over fist and can repair practically everything except her husband She talking about taking music pupils again la secret source of income Well to get back to retiring When I look across the street at my neighbor cutting grass or lling snow or patching his roof I don about dropping dead three weeks after I retire He quit teaching about twenty years ago and could probably wrestle me to the ground with both hands tied behind his back Another neighbor climbs high ladders and fixes things while I cower at the Toot holding the ladder He retired Another plays golf while 1 sit on the back lawn contemplating the birds and my thin tic foot ties retired Another retired teacher skis in the Alps for four months in the winter while I plod through the snow to teach for the twenty second time that Macbeth would liave been a pretty decent sort if his wife been so greedy And or course what it all boded down to is that I not even retiring confounds mine enemies and friends alike am merely ceasing the teaching of school When the war ended I retired from being a fighter pilot When I had enough I retired from the weekly newspaper business Now that I ve had a bellyful of teaching and all the trivia that goes with it I am not retiring but beginning a new career I plan to write Not letter which I never seem able to get around to Not Harlequin romances though I think 1 could rattle off some good ones if my sense of humor didn I get in the way Not great fiction dealing ith little people great truths sprinkled with symbolism and Not penetrating poetry though I can off a pretty dang good poem on order No None of that derivative stuff for me I m going to write the messages on greeting cards I hear there good money in it and any idiot could Improve on what is now offered The difference is that mint will be personalized And will be twenty bucks a throw How about this ford sympathy card on the death of a loved one I t be with when 1 knew you had a special yen more hi jinks with good old Cave With cooling in the grave tour old Tom Oliver smiles as he tries to touch one of the many butter flies and moths on at the library The It oval Ontario Museum In cooperation with the Outreach program have provided the called tights of f for the month of January NEW POSTAGE RATES IN EFFECT AS OF V5 For yon i pout 111 lt 1 to in lJ I The following is a selection of tales which will apply 1933 delivery of Canadian and International mail Complete informalion on all poslage tales is your local post office MAIL FOR DELIVERY WITHIN CANADA Special Services CerbicdMair Registered Mail Special Delivery- Pius applicable poslage Parcels lo 30 kg Local Delivery 2 kg 1st Class Parcel Post Vancouver Winnipeg 2 kg 1st Class 4 77 Parcel Posl 1st Cass Parcel Post 170 Ottawa kg 1st Class Parcel Posl Spectacles are not all created equal Non standard tetter rale 30 g 37 TJ lit applies oniyon metered mail that doe not ncudr postal code or meet postal standards eg An it lit bear posiage siamps and all unl I Ihe FtDruary wtienlhentew MAIL FOR DELIVERY TO THE USA postcards and greet ng cards 30g37 MAIL FOR DELIVERY OVERSEAS Airmail tellers aerograms and postcards 20g64 Unsealed greeting cards airmail 20 Unstiled greeting cards surface 0 g 37 A variety rates apply to different types of mail You can have complel information by contacting your Postmaster or Sales Representative ICANADA POST CORPORATION Plan attend our Dinner Meeting of interest to small firms JANUARY 19836 30 ORION RESTAURANT BRAMPTON Mr M ColeHamilton will speak on First Line Supervision Responsibility and Accountability sponsored by NORTH WEST SECTOR NORTH WEST METRO DIVISION INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT PREVENTION ASSOCIATION For further Information on this and other events please contact Mm NoraJacfcman 96588SB I Annual Conference April It lift 13 Hotel Toronto Enjoy Yule tour Noel We held our last meeting Tor 19112 on the Tuesda November After the business matters were taken care of member Linda Smith showed her holiday slides from a trip to taken lust August Wi round them very beautiful and interesting and thanked Linda for sharing pari of her trip with us A lunch was by a couple of our helpers On December we held our Christmas party at the home of and Anne For supper Chinese foot was catered from he Royal Cafe and en joyed all sorts of lous desserts made by Anne Mary and Tim Morton in Georgetown We had a visit from Santa who brought present for iveruone and helper May gave each of us hull Christmas stocking that she made herself for don a ted by Acton High School was given to our president Ruth Court ne student Johnson towards the com of new wheel chair for one of our members Vie all arc very grateful for the help to our all thanked Anne and for ingusat their house Monday December was Christmas light our night around Acton and Georgetown for Acton members and Wcdnes day December was for Georgetown Wi travelled by and driver Don Brown gave us a lovely lour Our first meeting for ill be held on evening January in the libr of Bennett school Acton 232 Guelph Street 8731601 MOUNTAINVIEW COIN LAUNDRY OPEN 7 am until 12 midnight DAYS A WEEK MODERN EQUIPMENT I 185 RD N REFUSE PICKUP i the doling of he Regional II end December 1382 The Town hat Biublnhsd new routes pickup commencing in Jen us ry 1323 lor by Compliments of Season C Austin P Eng Town Engineer