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GeorgetownActon Wednesday Aug 1983 Freshmens boners change history faol Nothing TV Nothing in the papers Two one of whom a butler and hooey Mod the other lam and banana sand wich Not best day for writing a serious column So Lets have something on the light side I am deeply indebted to a faithful reader for the following a compilation of boners or howlers put together by historian Anders from students at University and University of Alberta in their freshmen year Id to print the whole thing but havent space so will settle for a few with the odd editorial comment First about the Black Death In the hundreds most Englishmen Perpendicular Finally Europe caught the Black Death The bubonic plague is a social disease In the sense that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etcetera It was spread from port to port by inflected Victims of the Block Death grew boobs on their necks The plague also helped the emergance of the English language as the national language of England France and Italy Now you should know about the Black Death should the subject come up at a cocktail party Just ask Where did you get those boobs on your neck Now all the gen on the Middle Ages During the Middle Ages everybody was middle aged Well I d give him a mark for that Now the next phase The Middle Ages to a halt bolted in from the blue reeked with Joy Italy became robust and more individuals felt the value of human being Italy of course was much closer to the rest of the world thanks tu northern Europe Man was determined to clvllite himself even if heads had to roll It became sheik to be educated Europe was full of incredible churches with art bulging out their doors that takescareof the Renaissance Nicely But the Reformation is not neglected The Reformation happened when Ger man nobles resented the Idea that tithes were to Papal France or the Pope thus enriching Catholic coiffures An angry Martin nailed theocrats to a church door Theologically Luther was into reorientation mutation The Popes of course were usually Catholic the last Jesuit priest died in the 19th century More Alter the were wars foreign and infernal If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout Northern Europe which would include their in Italy central Europe and India The German Emperors lower passage was blocked by the French for years and years No wonder we had two world wars Just some other gems Louis became King of the Sun if he like someone he sent them to gallows for the rest of their lives The French revolution was ac complished before it happened was ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained Poor devil The century Industrial Italian was precipitating in England Problems were so complemented that in Paris out of a population of one million people two million able bodies were on the loose Always knew the French were loose but not quite that loose Politics The middle class was tired and needed a rest The old order could see the lid holding down new ideas beginning to shake Among the goals of the christs were universal and an anal parliament Voting was to be done by ballad much Culture fomented from Europes Up to its top Richard Strauss who was violent but methodical like his wife made him plunged into vicious and perverse plays Dramatised were adventures in seduction and abortion Music reeked with reality Wagner music and people did not forget his contribution When he died they labeled his seat as historical Other countries had their own artists France had Chekhov Moving along world War I broke out around 1912 19 Germany on one side of France and Russia on the other war people get killed and then they arent people any more but friends in 1937 Lenin revolted Russia Andon to World War Germany was displaced after WWI This gave rise to Hitler Germany was morbidly over excited and unbalanced Berlin became the decadent capita where all forms of sexual deprivation were practised A huge movement arose Moose a mi rested his foundations on million bayonets and invaded Hi Lee Salasy Sounds jolly uncomfortable for Moosy Germany invaded Poland France invaded Belgium and Russia Invaded everybody War screeched to an end when a explosion was dropped on A whole generation had been wipe out in two wars and their forlome families were left to pick up the pieces Those are just samplings Its not quite the way I remember my history but it sure as hell is more Interesting I Julie Itakh of Royal Canadian Air Cadet squadron forget own la of SO participating In the Senior Military land course the cadet training school Canadian forces Base The course advance cadets in know ledge of written and practical mink through classes and participation In parades and competitions A train ing bonus to each cadet upon completion of the course No dome in Haton but bid anyway The provincial proposal call for a dome stadium is nothing but political posturing Burlington Councillor Jim Grieve told reg ional council last week However a sound majority of regional councillors are backing a or a Joint Halton Peel proposal for a domed stadium west of Toronto There are five million Ontario residents living with in an hours drive of here Mayor Harry Barrett told council last Wednesday The site could be cleared of traffic in an hour Thais a big consideration Grieve and a few other councillors feel the decision where the dome stadium will go was made long ago Metro Toronto officials are confident the stadium will be built in Exhibition Place Regional Chairman Jack takes a more serious view If the province Is ask ing for submissions from other municipal ities have to take the province ser iously He added that the province Is aware there are other municipalities in Ontario besides Toronto Burlington Councillor Steve Toth asked how the region can expect to go through an environmental assessment for a dome stadium when we cant even get a garbage dump a Peter Arch another skeptic believes the stadium will be placed where it will satisfy the most voters three million of them in Toronto That politics Council has okayed an expenditure of lo allow the engaging of a consul tanl to put the finishing touches on a regional dome stadium proposal Five sites have been chosen tentatively from a roster of for further study Do you have a drinking problem Call the Contact Centre anytime day or night 877- Centuryold barn for Ag museum The earold Rutherford bam a land mark in the area is being moved to the Ontario Agricultural Museum near Milton this summer The museum Is Just off Highway The relocation of Ihe barn is the first in a series of projects planned by Ministry of Agriculture and Food to commemorate Ontarios bicentennial year in 1984 Much of the bam was built in 1881 by Reverend Peter MacNaughlon wellknown bam at the time In it was enlarged to its present size by Charles Rutherford Meanderings by Lately sap beetles have been troublesome in the raspberry patch I remembered reading that one should put out a dish vinegar they would all flock to and leave berries alone Some apple cider had turned to vin After an hour checked the dish and it was filled with hundreds the I decided to get rid of them quickly and poured boiling water over them and then gave them a burial When I picked the I find one among them So all I have to do is keep some cider vinegar on hand when the rasp berry season Is in full swing The beetles like sweet corn too Per haps Id belter prepare some more dishes for the little fellows when the com is ready MAPLE NURSERY SCHOOL In the lovely parkland sorting of Park offers 3 or day programs for the coming year We offer outdoor indoor play creative working area 3 qualified teachers excursion trips playroom gym and more For more information please call Apgar 8775801 or Maureen Bewley ANNIVERSARY MISS ACTON FAIR COMPETITION 1983 winner will be eligible for the Miss C Sweetheart of the Fair Contest JUDGED ON APPEARANCE PERSONALITY AND POISE FridaySeptember16th AT THE FALL FAIR Famiy Variety Presentation featuring the Leahy famfty Two Runners Up Will Act As Queens Attendant FOR ALL CONTESTANT by local Maichwrta am Induttrv SPECIAL PRIZES FOR WINNER AND ATTENDANTS Deadline for Entries Wednesday Sept 14th at 7 There will be an informal rehearsal on Thursday 730 pm Sept 15th at the Presbyterian Church REQUIREMENTS It High School MMS ACTON COMMITTEE 1M3