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Entertainment Proving theyre nuttier than Guinness Book Im always delighted to come across a news about someone who Is attempting some extraordinary lask which will prove Inst he Is even nulller than everyone else in the Guinness Book of world Records From lime to time tor Instance we read about someone who Is trying to set a new record lor amount of time spent In a room full of snakes And its always fascinating to read about a man who has achieved the worlds longest sojourn with snakes In fact the only thine more fascinating would about the man who achieved the worlds shortest sojourn with snakes It memory serves this distinction belongs to an Australian named who discovered after seconds that it is essential to feed a boa constrictor BEFORE you move with film And now to even more remarkable feat is being attempted A game park employee in South Africa Is trying to spend days in a cage lull of lions In an attempt to raise so the zoo can buy two gorillas Id short this extraordinary fellow Is going after not one but three illness records most lime spent with lions most money raised for the purchase of gorillas and most desperate lengths gone to in order to make an employer like you I mean not many of us would be willing to spend days with lions Just so the firm could afford new gorillas I Couldnt we Just rent them sir I be happy to organize a bake guys 1 went to Junior high school with and the behavior of Ihesc lions sounded strikingly similar I Admittedly Its a pretty clever stunt although you would hove to be careful to control he enthusiasm or the donors Notice lfou to contribute please mall a cheque or money order DO NOT throw of coins directly Into the cage as this irritates the lions This has happened several limes already as a consequence of which we are down to our last employee But were getting off track What really Inlrlgues me is the harrowing experience that this employee has already endured Apparently the brave chap has already spent mere than a month Ihe lions during which lime they have lorn his mattress from under him ripped three of his Jackets and smashed his radio Now certainly not an expert on the behavior of lions But I vividly recall behavior of some of Ibc As such It sounds as Ihe Teal this fellow is attempting Is even more fascinating than we had first assumed Hes not Just trying to spend days with lions hes trying to spend M days with juvenile delinquent I Ions Look at It this way A responsible adult Hon when confronted with a man on a mattress would do one of two things eat him or leave htm IE or Lunch Special Only a group of Juvenile delinquent lions would sidle up behind him snickering Look at him Thinks he s pretty comfortable eh Grab the mattress Artie grab ihc mattress The tact that the lions ripped three of his Jackets without Inflicting bodily harm is another sure tipoft And Imagine the poor guys distress as be gang backed him Into a corner of cage Hey nice jacket Jacket like that Lemme feel the material whoops Whal a Jerk Artie You ve gone and ripped his nice jacket with your And now youve made him cry Aw a sissy But lets not make light of this Alter all these are lions were talking about And it sounds as if things almost got totally out of hand on the day they smashed his radio The news reports havent Indicated how this happened but we can certainly make a pretty good Hey listen this guys got on the radio What a nerd thing Careful Artie dont bash It around like Oops Way to go Artie Just way to go It s probably his dads radio and now we re gonna get Ah well With any luck Ihls brave game park employee will survive the rest of his stay with the lions and win his rightful place In the Guinness Book of World Records At Ihe end of day the director of the too will open the cage door and discover him sobbing quietly In corner And the lions will look startled then furtive then defensive and they will mutter Hey we didnt do Poppycock SOUND law fi 1 SPRING EDITION Dining Guide Featured Restaurant Of The Week TV Restaurants DINNER SPECIALS FROM ON THE RAVINE Amu- ltischnff up the don of rcstauriiit The Kjvme in I it iiiulph Street in the restaurant place of the former fcpot On The features a country selling with a diverse menu in eluding steak seafood roast beef lamb chops and veal cutlets The restaurant is fully licenced is open from Wed through Sunday of The Anne and Edwin also operate Crossroads Restaurant In Mr was educated in Hotel School in Switzerland while Mrs is English by Inn OPEN TUESDAY TO SUNDAY 1 King St TERRA COTTA A The Colonels taste is best Inquire about our doHyouraolf BUFFET 8775241 AREHEREI TREAT YOUR GUESTS WITH A doit yourself BUFFETrf Great lor Picnics Receptions or any Event where Friends Meet AS FEW AS 15 AS MANY AS 1500 Buffet Consists of 1 3 pes chicken per person 3 different types of salad 3 Bread buttered 4 Plates 5 Serviettes Forks Wet naps 6 Bread trays serving spoons 7 Table cloths PIECE PER PEHSON 116A Guelph St Geonji 8775241