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Page 18 THE HERALD OUTLOOK Saturday Mirth una Doctors owe patients explanations I know about the Battle of Hastings I remember quite a bit about American poets But I did not know the normal value for cholesterol Lets see on a scale of one to 10 236 must be high A heart attack is imminent probably one before heart surgery one during and several after the operation Or worse I continued You a high HDL What in the world does HDL stand for HarvardDartmouthLa fayette Doctors are always saying that things are too high especially their insurance premiums Therefore high means bad and HDL means Hor rible Disintegration of Life FATAL Probably a matter of months no weeks Back to my goiter Your blood test showed that your thyroid function was normal but you tested positive for antibodies Oh God That sound ed as if the doctor were scolding me I must not be meant to have any anti bodies at all What are antibodies Something against the body Antibod ies must mean the presence of infec tion or a foreign substance a growth a tumor CANCER At this point I contemplated hav ing a nervous breakdown for the rest of my life Of course with all the fatal illnesses I had I didnt have long to live and this would cut down on the costs The children would be sad but grateful The end PS The average person has a little knowledge which we all know can be dangerous But doctors should be will ing to take the time to explain things and they should watch their language Fortunately for me I eventually called your brother a doctor and he answered my questions But Ill tell you I was properly frightened for several days If I hadnt had an expla nation Id be a basket case I think Ill change doctors or avoid them alto gether Youd suppose that physicians would be sensitive enough to sit down with patients and take the time to put things in perspective What good are all the tests if we patients dont know what to make of them At any rate Im better now Write soon Your stepmother Phyllis NEWSPAPER ENTERPRISE Dear Marge You know Im just a simple housewife Although Ive nev er had a career outside the family Ive raised my children and made a good home for my husband I pride myself in having a modicum of horse sense which is the good sense horses have not to bet on humans I thought Id seen it all until I visited my doc tor for a routine checkup last week Im sharing the consequences of this visit with you because the experience frightened me unnecessarily I believe On Thursday I received a report on the blood tests Id had After reading it I was confused and alarmed enough to need some clarification so I dashed to the telephone and called the doctor I was told he was not available for comments on that day or on Friday Can you believe it Not available for comment after I had spent a whole day and several hundred dollars for the exam Naturally Saturday and Sunday were out The receptionist told me that perhaps the doctor would return on Monday but there was no guarantee I hung up feeling guilty that I had been so presumptuous and selfish as to bother the doctor and his nurse I reread the report Your blood sugar is slightly elevated Slightly I fantasized that the doctor was trying to break the news gently to me the news that I have diabetes I remem bered that diabetes leads to blindness and the amputation of one leg if not both I read on Here is your authoriza tion for a scan for goiter Goiter I didnt know I had a goiter I felt fine and peppy before the report came A quick check in the mirror My neck was certainly not swanlike but noth ing was bulging my eyes were not popping out Oh well maybe that would happen tomorrow Nervously I studied the report You should come back for another blood test after fasting No mention of how long to fast Images of Gandhi and starving Ethiopian children passed before my eyes Your cholesterol was 236 Now Marge I have a college education and SAME DAY TAX RETURNS 101 GueiphSi Georgetown 8772217 fabric forum Prepared by the International Institute the 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