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Pages THE HERALD OUTLOOK Saturday October 11 1990 One of those days Editorial Its been one of those days You know the kind of day everyone has once in a while where you just wish the world would go away and leave you alone You wake up to the sound of birds coughing and everything goes downhill from there Doom and gloom abound in this great land of ours and your kettle explodes just as you are trying to prepare the much needed first cup of morning coffee So you set tie for a glass of milk only the greenish yellowy stuff floating on lop turns you off somewhat What can you do You can t punchout your pet fish because they have taken the hint that all is not well and are hiding behind the plastic tree in the fish tank Charlie the Tuna should have so good Turn on the ladio ind reahiv descends with a thud The gaffers in the Senate are playing musical brains while the taxpayers foots the bill for their childish antics Fire alarms are ringing all over Parliament Hill because some poor lost soul seek ing shelter had crept into one of the buildings and set some newspapers on fire in an attempt to keep warm The is delicious in a sort of way Members of Parliament are thinking of building a million underground complex on Parlia Hill complete with barber shops for their personal coif so they wont have to be confronted bv a questioning public and an increasingly cynical media v hen step outside the hallowed halls Meanwhile the guygirl on he street is wonder ing how much more heir haircut wilt cost when and if the GST kicks in he new Iv elected in Ontario the New Democratic ParU referred tars pist is in a bind Colin Gibson The NDP promised a virtual Utopia in pre election posturing and now that the parlv was in technicolor because the Ontario is bare and the wolf is at he door Fairy tales can tome true ii tan happen etc etc Toronto supposed Mil team Multiple lose dart game because the given up on hockev Word comes down from Ottawa the only city in civilized world to fail in test that the federal plans to slash million from its cash transfer pay program to Ontario This cash cut will filter all the wav down to municipalities who are having problems justifying tax increases just to survive Yes it s been a wonderful day The car won start because of the dampness and when you do arrive al work there a message to call friendly banker because of a forgotten I will survive just as we so called dog davs The problem is tomorrow night might turn out to be the sameastodav I II just perform an of kindness to shake the blues take fish for walk Here Brian Poets Corner IT He was the tower of respct in our Our old dot lor Same Bee Ihed in a rambling old house at the end of the street think was built Tor the rich and elite I went to him one with sore knee I said One it the hick can it be With forefinger on chin he looked skv Then said I don 1 think will die You pulled a tin don in knee llumm possibly Could Be Try some quinine on spoon or aciipof tea Or perhaps mv elixir it s sure to cure Ihee surelv to heaven Old Doc was alwavs well could he right The in knee disap peared over night I wonder if it was his elixir or that saslfras tea Or possibly the quinine you see took all three Your day was an adventure with a visit to Kood Bee But today this type of doctor is finally no more Now you go to crowded offices and stand In line at the door Your time in the office is limited in minutes you see possibly one two or three A prescription Is slapped right In the palm of your hand To the drug mart you go these drugs will make you feel grand wonder who will win the drug or me Oh well who cares AMEN COULD BF Poppa Milton Til- 11 THINGS The frangrinie of flowers Soft of fresh gen shade of the le iv Jo of spring water voice of someone singing luring words of tender Confidence in someone trust Birds singing in trees up Btes buzzing in the blossoms Trickle of in stream Set children av of great am ihi clouds rainbow Niacins down to wonderful sight Then shines the stars and moon Inthisk on a beautiful night Brooks It It 50 look back lo those days Time change different ways We take a chance as life begins The road Is rough and trouble stings Though we labor on we won be beat The taste or victory then is sweet The sun still sets bright in the west the flowers bloom their very best Time makes a difference when or where Bui in life it means love and care Now we live in a different Music it still hah it s chime May every day new pleasure bring Now your olden Wedding bells do ring Albert Brooks I The Halton Hills HERALD Home Newspaper of Hills Established 1 A Division of Canadian Newspaper Company Limited Guelph Street Georgetown Ontario 326 K ROBERT Publisher and General Manager 8772201 EDITORIAL COLIN GIBSON ROB RISK Ma no Editor ml Ed SUBSCRIPTION RATES Ban Dummell and ADVERTISING DAN TAVLOP MANAGER three mo Canada year PRODUCTION DAVE HASTINGS MANAGER Wilton Slo Foreign three mo TO year CIRCULATION ACCOUNTING The Herald clilma copyright on all original malarial by em ploy a and pub tied In newspaper Ad til of Ileal W To on to Ontario M5H 1710ofo40CathcaMS1 Montreal Qua bee Trio la for la publish it of beyond mount paid fry in apace actually occupied by Ihpt portion of In ho occurred hairier such enof it dun lie of It servant or otherwise and there hall be no lor non Inserllon of any advert beyond the amount paid for is mm mm mors Quest for human Barbie doll At first I t quite sure how to respond the news that the Mattel Corporation is offering a thrilling new career opportunity to a quahfed woman No the folks at Mattel decided that their next niMJt be female Not quite Instead decided that what their corporation really needs is real live Barbie Doll At times like this it stunning to reflect upon the strides the woman movement has made over the past quarter Apparently Mattel wants a ing breathing Barbie to attend promotional events As such thev re looking for a young woman who matches Barbies description she needs to be blonde blue eyed and long legged as well as bright and bubbly The news item did not say whether the successful applicant will also be encouraged to wear a shirt reading Natural Blonde please speak slowly As I say this quest for a human Barbie Doll raises certain in questions about the state of feminism in the 1990s On the other hand you could look at it from the opposite angle entire ly and see it as one of those disturbing instances of reverse- discrimination against men If Mattel would stop insisting that it Barbie be a woman this could be a wonderful opportunity forDanQuayle But wail It gets even more in tnguing Mattel isn t just looking for a young woman who has Barbie s looks they want one with Bar morality as well If you re like mc you probably never gave much thought to Bar hies morality in the first place Silly us Mattel stresses that its sue applicant will have to pro she has a good reputation noting that Barbie herself has always been faithful to her boyfriend Ken Well At this point the mind could he forgiven for boggling just slightly Granted there precedent for requiring young women to undergo a reputation check For instance Princess was actual ly asked to prove her purity and chastity before she was allowed to marry Chuck I m not exactly sure what this involved Perhaps it meant sign an affidavit attesting that she s never dated Prince An drew In any case this issue of Bar morality raises some deeply troubling questions Just for starters consider that there must be millions of Barbie folls out there Is Mattel prepared to guarantee the behavior of each every one of them Just recently I attended a par ty at which assorted dolls and stuffed animals had been left on display the rec room Barbie began the evening on the mantlepiece After the third round of drinks someone placed her in a distinctly compromising position with Garfield the Cat Still you can see why Mattel is anxious that its best selling doll be perceived as moral A lapse or two and just imagine the headlines in the supermarket tabloids Barbie s Love Child Sired by Brown Snoopy disgusted Ken seeks psychiatric help from Lucy But hang on This is no time for flippancy The fact is there a profound sociological implication in all of this Mattel is clearly suggested that Barbies relationship with Ken is an excellent model well worth emulating In an age when rela are so precarious this warrants a closer look So let s see Barbie and Ken have been dating for years during which time Ken has re mained apparently unemployed while Barbie has gone out and quired a breathtaking number of new outfits After 32 years she remains content with him despite the fact that theyve never married nor had children Baby Wet a Lot is utterly unrelated despite any malicious rumours lo the con traryi Ken it would appear has managed to remain in favor of maintaining a plastic for three decades saying ao- nothing You could argue that a certain spark seems missing On the other hand this Ken guy sounds like nobody fool