Lonely people have unconstructive attitudes ByJOHNEBERLEE Lonely peoples attitudes may be preventing them from forming satisfying relationships Bays a Thunder Bay psychologist Ken an associate professor at University suggests lonely peo ple are less trusting and more cynical than lonely people Moreover theyre less accepting of people who escalate the level of intimacy during casual con These traits would appear to stand in the way of them establishing and maintaining friendships he says People who assume others wont fulfill pro mises to meet for drinks or a movie for example may be pro ne themselves to avoiding such social situations Similarly people who dislike others for baring their souls without an invitation may lack the necessary skills to make close friends out of casual acquain lances Lonely peoples unconstructive attitudes were revealed in a survey using subjects selected from among introductory psychology students Rotenberg identified the most and least lone ly individuals this group by having everyone fill out the UCLA Loneliness Scale a questionnaire that measures peo ples satisfaction with their rela tionships In one study he compared the behaviour of lonely and lonely female students while playing Prisoners Dilemma a twoplayer contest which has elements of cooperation and com petition in it In each round op posing players separated by an opaque glass layer pushed either a competitive red or a cooperative green button If both players pushed the green button they won 15 cents each explains If both players pushed the red button they won only cents he adds And if one player pushed the red while the other pushed the green the competitive player who took 25 cents was the only winner Clearly one person can sue ceed at the others expense But if everyone cooperates then they all come out ahead To determine how trusting his subjects were Rotenberg paired each student in turn with a confederate disguised as a dent He also provided an inter com so players could state their intentions beforehand When pressing the buttons his subjects always went first Confederates were instructed to press any button regardless of their stated intentions during the first few rounds For the rest of the match they copied what their opponents did playing tit for tat Thus each subject was pit ted against someone who became increasingly predictable as the game unfolded It turned out the lonely sub jects responded more positively to their partners says They were more like ly than lonely subjects to cooperate to press the green button if they said they would By comparison trusting behaviour was far less evident among the lonely subjects perhaps because of very negative events in their past he speculates In a future study well pursue this by examining to what extent feeling of betrayal can lead to loneliness also intends to ex amine in detail the ap of lonely peoples conversational behaviour If I sit down and tell you all my pro blems we have a norm which prescribes that you should reciprocate Society believes its desirable to do so During a preliminary study he found that lonely people approve of others who adhere to this convention This means they particularly disapprove of people who disclose too much when the initial level of intimacy is low They feel that someone who follows up current events gossip with news about their love life is committing a serious gaffe The problem is this attitude dooms relationships from the start Rotenberg argues So long as no one escalates the level of in lunacy in a disclosure a relation ship will always be stuck at an unsatisfying level Canadian Science News The litSIl Store THIS LIVE LOBSTER LB FflESHATLAHTK SALMON STEA LB J STEAKS LB MOORE PARK PLAZA N Georgetown Dnl 4168736122 FREE DAY PASS Drop by lour our dub Diy Put tlw me of out Itctlttei Mutt In IB flit WORK THAT STEVEN C FOSTER BA LLB BARRISTERS SOLICITOR 37 MAIN ST SOUTH GEORGETOWN ONT L7G 3G2 8734961 fax 8734962 PHOTO SPECIAL Passport Photos WE KENT 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community outreach programs Historical Society presents Eleanor and Will Mclean will recall the history of Balllnafad Wed May at the Balllnafad Town Hall For more Info call Karen Hunter at Rotary Club of Georgetown Garage Sale May Call for pickup of Items that you want to donate for a worthy cause Georgetown District Memorial Hospital Auxiliary is holding a Country and Western Dance at Holy Cross Auditorium Sat May 9pm to 1 a per person includes lunch Call Bev or at Milton and District Horticultural Society holds Its popular plant auction Monday May in Pint Street Union Hall behind the Public Library Sale starts at 30 Meetings Attention lawn bowlers Annual Spring Meeting May at In club house Please try to at tend Georgetown Figure Skating Club annual general meeting at Joseph Gibbons School pm Friday May3 Credit Valley Artisans general meeting at Col Wednesday may at Crime prevention seminars for all Hills businesses at 11 Div community room St Thursday May and Wed May at Contact PC 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