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the HERALD Wednesday December 1991 Community Family Violence Reader complains Jacies last column sexist in tone By PALMER Herald Special This week has been a bumper week for Last weeks col umn on verbal abuse seemed to hit the nerves of a few women One woman called to thank me for writing the articles and in dicated she found a little piece of her own relationships in many of them I ran into another woman on the street and she stated that the column seemed to deal with all forms of abuse and often struck cords for her Then there was my first call It came from a woman who was upset by what she felt was a sex ist and feminist tone to the arti cle It was the first time shed read the column She seemed frustrated by all the recent coverage of Family Violence ar ticles in the news November was Assault Awareness Month and the nightly news and daily papers have been excellent in their coverage of the issues surrounding violence against women and children She was really telling me that there are lots of good kind and wonderful men out there and that my column is painting all men as being abusers Certainly that is not my inten tion nor is it the intention of my articles I simply want members of out community to recognize that one in four women in Halton is abused and that there are men in our community abusing them Our children are suffering I agreed with her when she that women can inflict verbal abuse In past articles Ive stated that while the majority of abusers are men women do make up about seven percent of physical abusers Surely we can all learn to be more effective communicators better parents and more sup portive mates And YES we can all be abusive No doubt about it I know that I learned to abuse from an abusive relationship I can be very good at it Probably I can verbally abuse better than most I do not state that with pride I just learned from an expert I was taught well The big dif ference between me and my former male abusive partner is that I know it is wrong wrong wrong He believes abuse is normalverbal and otherwise Even in our community women have attempted suicide and the roots of their problems and depressions are in previous abusive relationships These women are not mentally un balanced They are out of control because of the effects of the violence on their minds It is easy to state that women today have a choice We all have choices which we make daily Yet even high in come highly intelligent and pro- Seasons Greetings from your friends Georgetown Honda at Too Trior you for your continued support 8774919 LowPrtcei Feature Specials Hoping Your Christmas Dreams Come True HELP US HELP OURSELVES young women are our children and our future mothers What are we doing wrong How are we failing them Why are we not teaching our daughters to be equal partners in a relationship and to walk away from relation ships that hurt them Why are we continuing to raise our daughters to be compliant Society must change or this violence will continue No I am not a feminist Im not a womens libber I dont hate men In fact men make up the majority of my dearest friends And Im not even a writer Im an intelligent woman who has a lot of experience in living I want to stop violence in our communi ty Im willing to read research listen and share my experiences with others I may not be perfect and you may not always agree with my views butHEYI at least Im doing something What are you doing for our community Car dealer helps fesslonally competent individuals become involved in remain in and are overcome by abusive relationships A phenomenon known as the Stockholm Syn drome which is normally related to victims in hostage situations has been linked to the cir cumstances faced by abused women Women who are victims of Family Violence are like hostages They must ESCAPE I A series of studies presented in August 1991 at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association sug gest that 28 percent of dating relationships contain some kind of physical emotional or sexual women These December 161991 GEORGETOWN Ontario With just days to go until Christmas requests- from needy people for food and toys have never been greater but donations are still drastically low TOYOTA car dealers throughout the Georgetown area are making an urgent plea to the community to help the SALVATION ARMY in their efforts to brighten Christmas for less fortunate in dividuals and families People are being asked to bring in at least on iteman unwrapped toy andor gift of nonperishable food to their neighbourhood TOYOTA car dealership Says Major Hugh Tilley Public Relations Director for the SALVATION ARMY With the increased need this year we are hard pressed to answer all the needs Toys are given to be in short supply and at this moment we have less than half of what well need For the second year the TORONTO HAMILTON Dear Santa I was a very good girl and Ill leave you some hot chocolate and crackers for you Ill leave some carrots for your reindeer I would like a paint set a Barbie magazine a magic nursery baby and a new blanket for ray bed Love Jessica Dear Santa I have been good today Some days this year I was bad but Ill try harder I would like a toy truck a chair for my doll house some books a couch for my doll house Mr Potato Head a light for my doll house some Barbie clothes some small glasses for my doll house puzzles a table for my doll house and a baby sister or brother I am going to leave you a chocolate and a beer Remember Like last year I love you Santa Hugs and kisses Erin 3 to Mommy Dear Mr and Mrs Claus and the elves too How are you all I hope that Santa does not have a cold and if so heres some good advice Eat lots of chicken soup and up tight Anyway if its not too much trouble here Is what I would like for Christmas Something to do with a unicorn for Anne Marie my best friend Baby Glow-in-the- raley or a new Magic Nursery Baby whichever comes in handy Please for me 3 Please if nessisary take away one of my presents and give them to a poor child somewhere in this world But if youre wondering about the drawing I traced it myself Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Your Pal Jena Grade Age and quite tall Dear Santa My name is Heather and I am 5 years old I started Kindergarten this year I have been pretty good this year and was hoping that you would bring me the following gifts for Christmas Barbie House Puppy Bathtime Barbie Clothes I have a baby sister named Devon and she would like a stuff ed bowwow for Christmas She has just learned to say bowwow I love her very much I love you too and my mom says we can leave you some cookies and milk and a carrot for your reindeers Love Heather Dear Santa I was a good boy and Ill be very good before Christmas I would like a tow truck a big Christmas tree a Mickey Mouse book and a baseball Love HEY KIDS WIN A GIFT CERTIFICATE FROM Send your Letter to Santa to the Herald We will draw a winner December or a Gift Certificate from Canadian Tire Georgetown TOYOTA DEALERS ADVER TISING ASSOCIATION in a combined effort with 30 dealers in the TorontoHamilton area are sponsoring the TOYOTA CHRISTMAS CARE DRIVE The drive which started December 1st and runs through to December is an effort to help collect and deliver to the SALVATION ARMY desperately needed food and toys for needy families this holiday season According to Paul Pearson President of the TORONTO HAMILTON TOYOTA DEALERS ADVERTISING ASSOCIATION Right now we have a special need for toys and games for older children ages 10 to 14 GEORGETOWN TOYOTA LTD located at 343 Guelph Street is open Monday through Thursday from am to 900 pm and Friday and Saturday from am to 600 pm Everyone who drops in to make a donation will receive a free Christmas candy cane CMdrtniWw Mam St S DOWNTOWN GEORGETOWN 8732452 Queen SLE Acton SUFEH TEDDY BEAR I MAGIC 8738522 138 Mill St A Teddy Bear Specialty Store ESCAPE- S Ride Hoyride Chili Hot Chocolate Bonlire Family of tour plus GST by appointment only HOLIDAY PROGRAMME- Open doily lor children hourly or daily HORSE RIDING SLEIGH RIDES I By appointment Open Dally Call Annette 8776852 Seasons Greetings Happy New Year Royal Bank of Canada Georgetown Branches CHRISTMAS CHEER TO ALL Attn tmletU f PRESENT THIS WITH YOUR 0RDERJ Street Georgetown lor our FREE SMALL FRIES rtiriw WISHING YOU MERRY CHRISTMAS JJ ELECTRONICS 8731820