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A message to a moron Last week, someone left the door open to the moron pen, and one got loose. It seems this escaped moron and his easily influenced friends beat a trail to my mailbox, and smashed it to a pulp. It totally escapes me where the thrill is in beating a defenseless mailbox into a ball of tangle metal, out in the middle of nowhere, far away from civilization-- and the police patrols. Oh yeah, not only a moron, but a coward as well. If this is a display of chestbeating male testosterone, (I know it was a male) then why nail a mailbox? Show some real grit and wail on something more substantial-- like a motorcycle owned by a member of Hell's Angels, while he watches. That would show guts. Suicidal stupidity, but still real guts. Living in the rural areas, having one's mailbox destroyed from time to time is a fact of life. Sometimes it's the snowplow, but most often it's a moron. Years ago, I drove out my lane in the middle of winter, to discover the mailbox had a huge dent through the top of it. The tracks in the snow told me this moron was riding a snowmobile-- which he drove straight home after. Ever try to follow a snowmobile track? It ain't too tough. I followed the tracks to his home and exchanged words with him and his dad. His dad made him replace the mailbox. That one felt good.... The ones who flattened mine last week weren't much brighter. As I approached the crest of the hill before my driveway, I saw a car a mile or so up the road, turning around. The car proceeded back down the road towards `the scene of the crime'. I expect the occupants were wanting to see how `good' they nailed that mailbox, but as they approached, they didn't expect me to pull up and put on my four-ways. They flew past me, but I did see who they were, and took note of the car, licence plate, the whole ball of wax. It ain't enough to charge anyone with Providing exceptional quality care both inside and outside the home 24 hrs/day 7 days/wk 7 Independent & Free Press, Thursday, March 11, 2010 Palliative Care · Home Care · Housekeeping · Hospital Care · Manicure · Pedicure · Travel Companion Ted Brown the crime, but now I know. So here is my personal message for this mailbox-bashing moron. If lacking respect for someone else's private property isn't enough reason to curb that habit and go out and join a gym somewhere (to dissipate all that pent-up anxiety,) then consider the consequences of your actions. When you get caught smashing my $16.99 mailbox, (and with the proliferation of web cams and security cameras on rural properties now, you most certainly will get caught) you will be charged by the police with Mischief under $5,000, which is Section 430 of the Criminal Code. No ifs, ands, or buts, you will be charged. Punishment depends on your previous convictions, if any, and it could be up to two years in jail, and/or probation, community service, restitution and some sort of monetary fine. And the biggie-- each mailbox is considered a separate offence. So if you take on a whole street and hit five or six mailboxes in one night, that's five or six separate charges-- the punishment would be multiplied accordingly. So read it, moron, and take it all in, and most of all, believe it-- this info came directly from the police. Just ask yourself if that buzz you get from smashing my mailbox is really worth the possibility of doing time in jail. I doubt it's worth it-- but then again, you just might think it is. 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