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Just a Big Jack Attack The Sidekick suffered an attack recently. Now she did emerge physically unscathed, but I'm sure she has psychological scars that will never fade. The said attack took place at home, which made it even more traumatic. One does not expect to be brutally ravaged in the comfort and security of one's own property, one's sanctuary, so to speak. You see, she crossed paths with Jack. Most who visit Brown Farm know about Jack. Even our neighbours know Jack, in spite of the fact there's a 12-acre field between `him' and `them.' You see, Jack is our rooster. And for the past three years or so, he's been happily announcing the arrival of morning at the ghastly hour of 5 a.m. Hence the neighbours hear Jack. Jack is the only rooster in the hen house, and has a territorial attitude to him. In short, he rules the roost. He once ran with all the hens, but they were too much for him, so we removed him and one `concubine' to an open area in the henhouse, where the feed is stored. Now the reason we acquired Jack was his attitude. His former owner had little kids who were terrified of him. He'd go at them with his feet up, and wings flapping. He does put on quite a show, I'll admit. Over the years, Jack and I have crossed sabres a few times, but my lack of fear and 33:1 weight advantage makes it an easy contest to predict. But The Sidekick ain't quite there. She doesn't possess that `lack of fear' thing. In fact, she's terrified of him too. So, back to the scene of the crime. She stepped past Jack and his girlfriend and proceeded to collect the eggs. She noticed a dead hen on the floor, so she decided to take the dead hen out with her. Now we have an explosive situation here. There's one protective rooster who sees this intruder not only trespassing, but carrying a dead hen. He kicked into defence mode. So The Sidekick experienced a Big Jack Attack. He came at her with spurs up, wings flapping and squawking at the top of his lungs. You guessed it, she freaked. Let's face it, a dead chicken ain't much 7 Independent & Free Press, Thursday, July 1, 2010 Ted Brown of a weapon in any fight, so she used the only other thing available to ward off the attacking rooster. It was the egg basket-- half full of eggs. As I worked in the quiet stillness of the stable, the tranquility was shattered as the barn door was kicked open, followed by a loud, near hysterical declaration. "THAT #$%^&# ROOSTER IS GOING DOWN!!!!" Now imagine for a moment the sight in front of me-- a small woman, blond hair askew, flushed face, completely dilated eyeballs, nostrils flaring, trembling from an over-abundance of adrenalin in her system, still clutching a dead hen in one hand and an egg basket with egg whites and yolks dribbling out through the wires in the other hand. I'm bettin' she'd peed herself too. Sorry, I couldn't help it-- I laughed. In retrospect, bad move. I explained how the rooster was just reacting to instinct, etc... Oops, I laughed again. <Insert unprintable dialogue here> "He knows you're afraid of him," I explained, "Don't show your fear. Ignore him." "I can't," she snipped back, "When I'm afraid of something, this bright red pulsating neon light starts flashing FEAR!, FEAR! FEAR! right across my forehead!!!" I'm hoping time heals all. So far, Jack's still signaling the arrival of morning. And the score remains Jack 1, Sidekick 0 `Course there was a bonus for the wildlife. The raccoons really enjoyed the 25 broken eggs we threw out on the manure pile. CORREC TION ORRECTION Please take note that the Notice of Adoption of the Town of Caledon Official Plan Amendment (OPA) 226 dated June 15, 2010, which appeared in the June 17, 2010 edition of the Independent & Free Press, cited By-law 2009-018 as the number of the adoption in error. The correct number of the By-law by which OPA 226 was adopted is 2010-081. All other information in the Notice of Adoption remains valid. Happy Canada Day! Happy Dominion Day! On July 1st, 1867, Canada was born when the three colonies of Canada, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick united to form a new nation called the "Dominion of Canada". Celebrate Canada's 143rd birthday with family and friends! Michael Chong Member of Parliament (866) 878-5556 chongm@parl.gc.ca "Spaces live. Let me help you live well in yours." Catherine Brazeau, Interior style consultant 905.877.0296 www.haughtonbrazeau.com Complete renovation management, colour harmonizing, furniture & accessories selection, lighting advice... and much more! Let's start creating your dream! FREE DELIVERY "New Name, me Rick!" Sa Serving Halton Hills Since 1991 L Largest tS Selection l ti of f Patio Furniture in Halton Hills Since 1998 INDOOR & OUTDOOR FURNITURE Across the road from Christ the King School O P E N 7 DAY S A W E E K 905-873-9791 136 Guelph St., Georgetown Furniture Hut Replacement Windows Bay & Bow Windows Storm Doors Patio Doors Sealed Units 905 703-0606