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You kids all be good now... This one is a different column. You see, I'm not gonna be writing here for a bit. I'm going to be off work for a period of time after having surgery next Monday. Seems my elbow joint, and the nerve that runs through it, have decided they don't like to be beside each other anymore. So they are going to part company, so to speak. The medical term is the ulnar nerve, which most people more easily recognize as their `funny bone.' If you hit your elbow joint on a hard surface, that blow is transferred to the ulnar nerve, (or funny bone) and it lights up a bunch of `fireworks' in your elbow, and up and down your arm. For a long period of time, my ulnar nerve hasn't been functioning properly, and the little nerve impulses are not flowing through at the proper speed. So my hand, wrist, elbow and upper arm are suffering. The `fireworks' sensation in my arm is there pretty much most the time. My neurologist described it as being similar to an electrical wire on which some of the insulation has worn down, causing the signals to become a bit screwed up or grounded. Consequently I have the continual sensation that I've nailed my funny bone-- big time. It's damn annoying to say the least, especially in the middle of the night. So the fix is to have the ulnar nerve `released', or relocated to another place, away from where it and the elbow joint are bickering. Instead of running through the joint, it will be moved to the soft tissue on the inside of my elbow joint. The surgeon exposes the joint, pulls out the nerve and relocates it in its new home, under the skin. Okay, I saw that squeamish look on a few of your faces. I had the same reaction when I first heard of the procedure. But after dealing with nerve pain for the last three years, the accompanying sleepless nights, mind-numbing 10 Night Eastern Mediterranean July 29, 2011 onboard Celebrity Equinox Roundtrip Rome featuring Messina, Athens, Kusadasi, Rhodes, Santorini, Mykonos & Naples Balcony Cabin Must book by April 15, 2011. Ask about other applicable May - July 2011 sailings 7 Independent & Free Press, Thursday, April 7, 2011 SAIL EUROPE & SAVE EVENT Ted Brown medications and loss of strength and dexterity in my left hand and fingers, I decided the time had come to go under the knife. The doctor assured me the procedure has great results, so I hope it works. You know, it's the little things we never think of that are lost. I've come to the point where I can no longer play guitar-- that really hurts, both figuratively and literally. My left hand and fingers are simply too weak to effectively press down on the frets and make the strings play properly. Another thing-- I can't stand to wear a wrist watch or any rings. If I do, my hand feels like it's been hooked to an electrical current. Hopefully, that will change too. I tell ya, nerves can be cranky little things when you get 'em cornered. The procedure is done as day surgery-- actually, what isn't done as day surgery these days? Following that, I'll be off work for a bit-- not exactly sure how long just yet, but I hope to be back by mid-June, so long as the healing goes well. So you won't see my smiling face here for a bit. I do hope to keep a mental diary of all sorts of thoughts I can expound upon when I get back. I can write 'em down with a pen with my right hand-- people still do that, write with a pen, don't they? Now it's official-- I'm leaving all my readers in managing editor John McGhie's capable hands. It's up to him what fills this space while I'm away. And you kids all be good now-- 'til I get back ... 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