The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

7| The IFP -H alton H ills | T hursday,January 25,2018 theifp.ca Furnace Air Conditioning Gaslines Boilers Water Heaters Radiant Heating 905-877-3100 proud local dealer of Canadian made products .ca • Truck Accessories • Upholstery • Heavy Equipment Glass •Window Tinting 354 Guelph Street, Georgetown 905-873-1655 Wehandleall insurance work. We handle all insurance work. To book this space call 905-873-0301 To book this space YOUR AD HERE! I know there aren't very many sheep in Halton. There might be a half dozen flocks in the area be- tween Halton Hills and Guelph. But most people I run in- to during my travels about town like to take part in a 'sheep conversation' in some way, shape or form. It invariably follows af- ter an acknowledgement of the state of the weather, then comes the question, "So, how are the sheep?' I know it's simply ac- knowledging we have sheep, so I usually reply with something simple like "Oh, they're doing fine ." But there are times I re- ally want to throw out something bizarre, like, "Well, we've been experi- encing a bout of melan- choly in the flock - I suspect it's from SAD, you know, seasonal affective disorder, a depression related to changes in seasons. Our sheep had some symptoms starting in the fall and con- tinued into the winter months, so I suspect if they don't snap out of it soon, I'm going to have to call in the sheep psychologist from the University of Guelph.." OK, I know it could be cruel to throw out a line like that, but recently I did have a golden opportunity to 'play' with one person re- garding the flock. It started with the same intro, "So, how are the sheep?" And since it was the per- fect time in the sheep sea- son to actually have some- thing truly interesting to reply, I said, "Well, actual- ly, tomorrow Dr. Jeff, my vet from The Veterinary Farm Services (at the Uni- versity of Guelph) is com- ing to conduct a pregnancy check of the entire flock." Now this is something most lay persons wouldn't have expected, and it was 100 per cent true. Jeff and two vet college students were booked for the next day. (Vet services like to use local barns as teaching venues to give students ex- perience in the field.) "Really?" was the reply. "And how exactly do they do that?" Suddenly my mischie- vous side emerged and I said "Oh, it's simple, we just have them pee on one of those little blue sticks from the drugstore." Insert vacant stare here. "So ... you have to catch them, right?" "Yup" I replied, my face poker-straight. That was as far as I could go with my ruse with the next question. "So how do you get them to pee on the stick on de- mand?" That was it for me. I lost it and started to laugh. I then explained that Dr. Jeff brings in an ultra- sound machine to check them. (By now, others had gathered.) Of course, my credibil- ity had gone south and they didn't believe the ultra- sound story, they didn't be- lieve anything I said. After another person entered the conversation (who did in fact have some farm experience) and it was established that yes, our sheep were going to be checked for pregnancy by an ultrasound machine, but no, they weren't peeing on a stick. Nor were they experiencing SAD due to a lack of sunshine, and the 'sheep psychologist' would not be paying a visit to my barn any time soon. It's sometimes quite en- tertaining when you can pull the wool over the eyes of someone (pun definitely intended), and still main- tain some credibility. So to wrap up the story, the next day, Dr. Jeff was joined by two students, and in the space of an hour and 20 minutes, they deter- mined that 92 per cent of our ewes were actually pregnant, which is a pretty good percentage. And in the future, for those who ask about the welfare of the flock of sheep, well, I will behave and not pull their leg. But dammit, every once in a while one has to have some fun - it's human na- ture. And I just gotta take a shot at those fish in a that barrel. - Ted Brown is a freelance columnist for the Indepen- dent and can be reached at tedbit@hotmail.com. OPINION Like shooting fish in a barrel Ted Brown confirms that sheep can't pee on a stick TED BROWN Column THE WAY WE WERE As clearly demonstrated by this photo from 1916, driving a convertible in the dead of winter is never a good decision. This gentleman found his Ford convertible stuck in a snowdrift in Glen Williams, and his rescuer obviously felt a photo should be taken to commemorate the auspicious moment. EHS/photo Sometimes disabilities aren't visible I want to educate the public about accessibility parking permits. Post surgery, it is a gift especially in the winter to keep the recipient safe. It is interesting the neg- ative response from people who assume if they cannot see the disability, then it must not exist. One incident was a "drive-by" woman shouting at me, "You will get a $5,000 fine!" She didn't even both- er to look at my dashboard. However, the most dis- tasteful interaction was from a medical secretary. This employee at a walk- in clinic, stood up behind her glass counter and shouted at me, "Do you know where you parked?" I had just entered the office for an appointment. People in the waiting room were looking at this point. I hid my humiliation and answered, "Yes, I do." Awareness and sensitiv- ity should be first and fore- most, especially at a medi- cal centre. Human rights are a plat- form for people to launch a complaint. I feel for the residents in town who have experi- enced the same issue. Dianne Cameron • LETTER • l GET CONNECTED Have a comment on these or any other community issues? Email us at newsroom@theifp.ca