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5 | The IFP -H alton H ills | T hursday,January 10,2019 theifp.ca 905.877.5236 web@nhgcc.ca | www.nhgcc.ca Insta Halton Hills' Premier Location for Golf, Curling, Corporate and Special Events. Georgetown's trusted choice for hearing care 360 Guelph St., Unit 44 Georgetown (In the Knolcrest Centre) 905.877.8828 Armstrong Ave Delrex Blvd Try before you buy! At Halton Audiometric Centre, we are committed to your hearing healthcare. To find out if hearing aids are right for you, come in for a complimentary assessment and try the latest digital hearing aids risk free! Chris Kirby was terri- fied. He knew it was the right thing to do, but he just couldn't bring himself to walk through the doors. He had put it off for months. There was no shortage of reasons not to go, and he al- ways managed to find one. But avoiding it was not helping him. He had been doing that for 40 years and he'd become pretty good at it. At first it was because he thought this had never happened to anyone else. Even once he came to the realization that there were others, he hid it from those closest to him. Now he had made the trip to Toronto. He made the commitment to tell his deepest secret to a room full of strangers. "That first step is in- credibly difficult," Kirby says. Two hours later, he emerged from The Gate- house. Nobody had made him tell his secret. But he had found a group of people who could understand what he was going through, because like Kir- by, they had been sexually abused when they were children. On the drive home, he couldn't stop talking about what he had experienced. "It was like a weight had been lifted," said his wife, Jodi Stansfield. "No matter how much I support him, there are things I can't re- late to." "And the only way you would be able to is if you had been through it too," Kirby said, "so I'm happy she can't." It's been four years since Kirby first attended The Gatehouse. He benefitted so much from meetings that he eventually went through training in order to facilitate the discussions that took place each week. "I don't think it's an ex- aggeration to say it saved my life," Kirby says. Knowing how going to The Gatehouse helped him, Kirby is now hoping to help others. He and Stans- field have established a not-for-profit organiza- tion, The Ironwood Pro- ject, to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Kirby said Ironwood will provide peer support and provide a safe environ- ment for survivors of child- hood sexual abuse. Iron- wood will host weekly meetings where partici- pants can share their struggles and challenges in a peer-based discussion to provide help in under- standing and overcoming those obstacles. There will be an itiner- ary of what will be dis- cussed each week, but Kir- by said from his experience at The Gatehouse, some- times the conversation nat- urally flows in another di- rection. "We're not counsellors, we're not therapists. We can connect them with those resources if they want," he said. "It's just a safe place to talk with other people who know what you're going through. Ev- ery survivor is different, but there is a commonali- ty." Confidentiality is an im- portant part of The Iron- wood Project, so times and locations of meetings are not disclosed. Anyone in- terested in attending is asked to contact the thei- ronwoodpro- ject@gmail.com. Kirby has four initial meetings scheduled begin- ning in February, at which point he and Stansfield will evaluate and plan future meetings. Kirby said he's not sure what to expect in terms of attendance, though he's certain there are many people who could benefit from having a safe environ- ment to discuss issues with their peers. Statistics show that one in three women and one in six men will ex- perience some form of sex- ual abuse in their lifetime. "If I go and sit there for two hours and if one person shows up and it's me and that one person talking, that's good. I know what that means," he said. "Part of me hopes the room is packed. Part of me hopes it's not. The math is the math, though. There are people who need it." After watching Kirby struggle to seek help for himself, Stansfield said it is incredible to see her hus- band now be so willing to help others. "I'm proud of him, how brave he is to be the face for this," Stansfield said, "how he is trying to make some- thing positive out of some- thing so horrible." For more information, visit http://www.theiron- woodproject.ca/. SUPPORT GROUP SEEKS TO HELP SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE Chris Kirby, along with his wife Jodi Stansfield, is starting The Ironwood Project. The peer support group to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse will hold its first meeting in February. Nikola Novak photo HERB GARBUTT hgarbutt@metroland.com NEWS