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Independent & Free Press (Georgetown, ON), 5 August 2021, p. 9

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Forever Young FIFTY-FIVE PLUS NE S SOUR Too old for big muscles, too young for psychological well-being For those who have Pollyanna Personality Disorder there is something stupendous and amazing about every single age of life. In spite of the fact that human bodies, like cars, have a definite life expectancy and start leaking oil and stalling out at the most inopportune moments, the Pollyanna groupies continue to see the bright side of every age in life. Now, Science has proven these folks right. It turns out that the Road of Life is paved with positives all along the way, even though after a certain age, the terrain starts to climb steeply uphill and be covered with stones and shards of glass and starving rats chasing you. Here, then, are the stages when something about a specific age is completely swell. Brain processing power peaks at 18. This fact will be especially interesting to anyone who owns an 18-year-old or anyone who thinks back on the choices one made at the age of 18. LBL, herself, ruminates on spending a January night in an unheated abandoned warehouse in New York. The ability to remember unfamiliar names LIFE IN THE BOOMER LANE peaks around age 22. The ability to believe that the names of all humans in one's life are unfamiliar continues to peak without stop- ping after age 70. Life satisfaction peaks at age 23. This coin- cides with an awareness that all of one’s life is now completely in one's control. This peak is usually gone by age 24 when one realizes that nothing in life is in one’s control. Strength peaks at age 25. As this is exactly two years before she started going to the gym on a regular basis, LBL now understands why, re planning inations, please cor DOWNTOWN GEORGETOWN: 83 Mill St | 905 873 1867 and repair, contact lens pick up etc), ict us In advance and we will arrange an appointment time for ‘you. This will help to ensure we keep GIDDENS OPTOMETRY We are open but due to the current virus situation we are seeing patents by appointment only. Ifyou visit (for routine eye = OPTOMETRY = em vik METRO PLAZA 371 Mountainview Rd S | 905 873 1861 =) Dr. Ben Giddens Dr. Andrea Kozma Dr. Stephanie A Britton Corsi Where good health begins WALK-IN & FAMILY CLINIC 221 Miller Dr., Georgetown GenesisHealthTeam.com in spite of her 43-year adherence to the gym, she still has weenie muscles and can't bend down to get something that has rolled under the bureau. You are best at learning new faces at age 31. You are also best at looking at your own face in the mirror at age 31. Nobel Prize winners make their Big Discoveries at the average age of 40. Now we are talking. Give us more. Understanding other people's emotions peaks in our 40s and 50s. Yes, More, please. Math skills peak at 50. LBL is now doing the Happy Dance. Life satisfaction peaks again at age 69. LBL will now pause and savour this one, although she suspects that a lot of this is due to the seemingly endless supply of films and series pouring into streaming services these days. Vocabulary peaks in the late 60s or early 70s. While it is very understandable that the accumulation of vocabulary may, indeed, have its peak storage at that age, it is also true that the individual words stored often ran- Options. Savings. Guidance. You pick. We Plan. INH UONEH - dl UL | 6 domly trade places with other words or even hide in some inaccessible place as undiscov- ered as the elephants’ burial ground. “Home Depot” becomes “Top Job’ “Torch” becomes “fire on a stick’ A “skunk” becomes a "black 8 and white fart squirrel. “Sandwich” becomes ~ “bread, then food, then more bread” Men and women feel best about their bodies after age 70. This flies in the face of a widespread belief that one’s actual body is abducted after age 70 and a version of that body appears, created by some being who has never studied anatom: Psychological well-being peaks around age 82. Luckily for LBL, she is not yet required to have psychological wellbeing. She can relax. LBL will leave you with a final scientific observation: People are most likely to make big decisions when their chronological age ends in a “9 Loyal Readers are now released to ruminate about their entire lives and see if this applies to them. Find more musings of a former hula hoop champion at lifeintheboomerlane.com. a Fy zZ a Ea 2 = e Ea 7

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