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BRIDAL CORNER Selecting groomsmen Make `the best' responsible choice RONDA ADDY Special to The IFP Planning a wedding is difficult, even for those who are organized. That's why the bride has a maid of honor and bridesmaids to help her and the groom has a best man and groomsmen to help him. When choosing your best man and groomsmen, make sure you select individuals who are responsible enough to handle the assigned duties. While there are no hard and fast rules as to whom you should choose to be your best man and groomsmen, etiquette suggests you include your brother, the bride's brother and your closest friends. If you or the bride has more than one brother or you have several close friends, the matter is more complicated. In that case, choose the individuals who are closest to you and keep in mind that they do not have to be male. It is not unheard of to have a female friend be your best man or a groomsman. Regardless whom you choose, each will have duties to perform. The best man has many duties. They include: · Planning and paying for the bachelor party · Renting a tuxedo and attending any fittings · Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner · Transporting gifts to the ceremony and reception · Helping the groom get ready for the ceremony and making sure they get to the church on time · Paying the officiate before the wedding · Holding the bride's wedding ring if there is no ringbearer · Signing the marriage license · Walking down the aisle with the maid of honor and dancing with her at the reception · Giving the first toast to the bride and groom · Taking the gifts to the bride and groom's home · Returning all of the tuxedos on time Groomsmen have many duties in preparation for the wedding. They include: · Renting a tuxedo and attending any fittings · Assisting the best man with whatever he needs, including planning and paying for the bachelor party and transporting gifts to the bride and groom's home · Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner · Helping load and unload decorations, food and other items at the ceremony and reception · Decorating the wedding car · Helping seat the guests at the wedding if there are no ushers, especially the mothers of the bride and the groom · Rolling out the white or red carpet for the bride to walk on as she comes down the aisle · Dancing with the bridesmaids and any single female guests at the reception As you make your decision, try to select individuals who can perform these duties and afford the costs involved. Make certain that they understand that there is a great deal of responsibility involved, and once they accept it, they cannot back out later without causing you problems. Both the best man and the groomsmen play valuable roles in the wedding. Don't select individuals who can't live up to those roles. Make responsible choices.