The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

BU88IVR DESIGNS, At Outlined in the Celebrated Will of Peter the Great. Bowik n I'lavi- ( bar old game Her band is visible in Uie revolt amoug tne Afghanistan! reported la t> <lj caUt. Wbenevtr Kun <-OBinui'&Uts a uiuvument in tin- wnt inure ii ore tn be a disturbance in the a*l.- Montreal Below will be found * translation of that remarkable document known M " The Will of Peter the Gnat," in which are carefully M* forth the designs and ore of Ruuia for her self aggrandize- nl. Thin document waa first mentioned in 1813, bat it was not un lil 1036 that it wai made pub- lie in complete form, when it wai alleged that it bad been brought to Pans in 1757 by the Chevehtr d'KuD, who diaoovered it while making an aiithun/.a.i learoh among the Russian erchivts. While by many hiitoriaoa this documtut IB considered apocryphal, it is sufficiently mter<'ating to warrant rt publication in thia ou. neotion, became cf tbe curi an coincidence between He) reooojin -udaii inn and the political course of the Czar* mnoe Peter the G rt at. THE WILL. 1. The Rouian natiou moat be constantly on a war footing to keep too soldiers war- like and in go.d condition. No rait moat be allowed except (or the porpoee of re- lieving tne State tiuaucn, recruiting the army or biding iba favorable moment for attack. By lbe*e mean* peace u made aubeervirnt to war and war to peace, in the interest of the axgranmzdmeiil and morses ing prosperity bf Huais. 8. Evtry posnule means matt be awd to invite from the moat cultivated European States < 'iiiimai.dera u war and philoeo- pheri in p>eoe. to enable the Roman natiuu to participate in the advantagee uf other countries without losing any of ite own. 8. Mo opportunity mail be loat in taking part in the affairs auo disputes uf Europe, especially in ibo>e of Germany, wnien, from ita vicinity, ie of the moat direct interest to ue. 4. Poland mast be divided by keeping p constant jtalooaua and ooo fusions there. The anthoriiuni must be itemed over with money, and tbe assemblies ujrrnpted 10 ae to influence the election of the kingi. We moat get op a party of oar- own there, eend Ranuan truope into the country, and tot them aojoorn there to long that they may ultimately Dud Hume pretext for re- maining there lort>%er. Should the neigh- boring State* make diffioolnee we.just ap- pease them fur the moment by allowing them a hare of the territory until we oan ajely reaome what we have thai given way. 6. We moet take away aa mach terri- tory etpoemble from Sweden and contrive that they hail aitaak u* tirst, eo a* to give u* a pretext fur tbair uojaeiion. Wuh this object in view we aiiul keep Sweden in opposition to Denmark, aud Denmark to Sweden, and teunlooaJy fgeler toeir motoal poeaeuion of the Eaat and of the beit part of Kurope. 14. Bbould the improbable oan happen of both rejecting the proposition* of Kus lia, then oar policy will betoeetone againat the other and make them tear each other to piecee. Ruaiia mast then watch for and seize the favorable moment and poor her already aaaembled hoela into Germany, while two immense fleeti, laden with Asiatic hordee and convoyed by the armed Kjaadroni of tbe Kuxine and the Baltic, set aail tiBoitaneoiuly from the Sea of Aaof and the harbor of Archangel. Sweeping along the Mediterranean and the Atlantic they will overran France on tbe one aide, while Germany ii overpowered on the other. When theae countries are folly oon ijoered tho rent of Europe maat fall aaeily and without a straggle under oar yoke. Thai Europe oan and moit be inbjogated. A WOMAN'S mVBNTFVL LIF*. followed xu luillnh Regiment Through 8*v*aty-nlu Years. Few women, saja tbe London Seotiman, have had a more eventful life than Mm. Mary Ann Allen, a pensioner uf the city of Edinburgh, who ban jam paused away at the age of 7'.). She was a child of the regi- ment. Her faluiit wan Quartermaster Sergeant Maxwell, of the bevemy fourth Regiment, whole wife followed, with him, the fortunes of the army through the Peniniolar War. Mrs Allen wai born in a convent at Liibon, wai ohriitened by a Portogaaee prieit, though her parents were Prateetante, and whale yet a mere infant aoaled the walls of Badajoz atrapped upon her mother's back. With her mother, ehe waa alec on the field of Waterloo. Her girlhood waa spent in barracks, or in the baggage- waggon moving from place to place, and at the age of 17 she became the wife of Color Sergeant Allan, of the aame regiment. Her wandering! again oom- iaoed, and her family, oonaiating of nine children, were born indifferent parti of the world Canada, ID. lie, the West Indies and Ireland. After hie discharge from the army with many honors, Color- St rgeant Allen became the governor of the old lock- op which aiood at the foot of Liberton Wynd, while his wife officiated M matron. When thil was aboliahed, he continued until nil death, twenty yean ago, to look after the Conn House prison, which occupied the basement floors of the Sheriff Court. In consideration of her long service aa matron of the lock up and Coort Home prison, Mrs. Allan enjoyed a moderate pen- sion frim the citv until her death. 6. The ooneorta of tbe Kueaian prinoea must always bt> choeeo ficui among the German princesses, in or i*r to multiply oar family alliance* with the Germane and eo unite our ink-nut* withiheus; and thus, by consolidating our infloeuoe in Germany, to oaUMt it to attacn itetlf spontaneously to our policy. 7 We moat be careful to keep op our ooomiaroial alliance with England, for sue ia the Power which has moat need of our products for her navy, and at the aame time iitty be o( the greatest service to us in the develop uuent ot our own. We moil export wood and other articlee in exchange for her gold and establish permanent con- nection between her merchants) and seamen and our own. 8. We maat keep ateadily ntmliog our frontiers northward along the Baltic and eoathward along the shores of the Black Be*. 9. We mast progreM ai much as possible hi the d i notion of Constantinople and lad ia. He who oan once get possession of theee plaooe ia tbe real rsjer of tbe world. With thie view we must provoke constant quarrels at on* time with Tarkey and at another with Poiua. We nioet establish wharves and duck* ia tbe Kuxine, and by degrees make nureclvrs masters of that aea aa well ae of lh Baltic, which ii a doubly important element in tbe saoneee of oar plan. We mutt haetan tbe downfall of Persia, poeh on into tbe Persian Gulf , U poeaible. ra-setablish the ancient oomroer- oial intercourse with the Levant through Syria and force our way into the Indies, which are tbe norebouiei of the world. Onoe there we oan diepenie with Englnh gold. 10. Moreover, we moat take paine to eetablisb and maintain an intimate union with Austria, apparently countenancing her Bohemia for fmuie aggrandisement in Germany ai .1 all tbe while ee-oretly rous in* the jealousy of the minor Slates against her. lu thia way we must bring is to pass that one or tb other party shall seek aid from Russia ; and thus we aoall exercise a eorl of protectorate over the country, which will pave tbe way for future supremacy. 11. We mnet make the hoaee of Austria interested in the expulsion of the Turks from Karope, and we mast neutralize its jealousy at the capture of Constantinople, either by preoccupying it with a war with tbtt old European ~tates or by allowing it a share of tbe spoil, wbioh we oan after- wards rcaome at onr leisure. 12. We must collect around oar home, at round a oeutre, all tbe detachnd sections of Greeks wtuob are soattervd abroad in Unn- a^ry, Turkey and S njih P< land. We moat make them lo >k to us for support, and then, by ettabluhiug b fonhaad a sort of eoole- siaatical snprema<y, we shall pave tbe way for universal sovereignty. 13. Whxn Sweden ie oars, Peraia van qoiabed, Poland labjogated, Tarkey oon * when oar armirs are united aud Koxine and tbe Baltic are in tbe ion of our ships, then we mult make separate and awuret overturn!, first to tbe Ooort of Vrs%ills, and ih-m to that of Vienoa, to ahare with them the dominion of the world. If either of them accepts our propositions, which is certain to hap- pen if their ambition and self-interest are properly worked upon, we most make DM cf tbia one to annihilate tbe other. This done we havp only to destroy the remain- ksM one by fluiing a pretext for a quarrel, the issue of which oaanot be doubtful, as KUMIS will tben be already in the absolute The Latest Hew Tork Tipple. Tork dabs are ever ready to spring something new for an outside public to gossip about, and thei r In lest fad in the drinking line is " apple jack sours. ' It i* saia that the Union League caught the idea from some Jersey gneita who were invited inside tbe palatial portals of thil well circle. Now the younger, but none the less swell, clubs have taken bold of the " soar jeak," tasted, and between sips have "** "fc^d their lips approvingly, and voted the srage a " go." I wai recently op at the "5 A's," a olub composed of actors, ama tear athlelee and baeball players, and there tbe fizz and pop ot tbe wine ana beer bottles have given way to the succulent " eoor jack." It's wonderful bow popular it ia, and at ons of the leading oaftn the orderi for U are very, very many. " It the proper, strictly propa;" drink. burg I'itpatc/t. Hew to Bedsieei a Ckureh Debt. In New York a life insurance company has lent 1130,000 to a ohnroh and the oburoh has bad the livee of a number of it* members insured in favor of itself. The life insurance company has agreed, every time one of the member*, wbo is thru tai- lored dies, to redaoe tbe debt of the oh arch by tbe amount of hie policy. Every time the church hai a funeral of one of theee it lope off a alioe of debt ; ID ether words members and debt disappear together. Thie thought should enable the pastor to read burial earvioee with almost cheerful reeignatun and to point oat more olestrly the benefioenoe of an all wise providence in thus providing a gold or silver lining even to the dark cloud of death. In executive "isslen. " My daughter," remarked a grave and reverend United States Senator to hi child, " didn't that young man wbo oallec On you last night remain very late ?" " Qoite late, papa," waa tbe dutifa ' Well, my child, I should like to know what was going on that required so mach tine." " It wasn't that kind of an executive session, papa," ihe said with wise precau tion. "We never tell." Wathingta* Star On. Uuestloai 8*tu*d Itijht ea the *trt- Young Mrs. Golroz (al her first break fast with her elderly "catch") Ton eai with your knife, don't yoa, John, dear ? Old Mr. Gotrox (noticing bis opportunity and with severity aad digally) No madam, I do not, I eat with my mouth I frequently convey food from my piste to my facial aperture with my knife, bat I do mv own eating with my own excluaive month, and until farther notice I will my self furnish all all the instructions respeot ing the methods to be employed. Ho ROOM for Boononsy. Jones Brown >s rich and stingy. An acquaintance ot hii met Brown's son the other day and said : " Yoar father seems to have lost a good deal of money lately. The last time I saw him be wae oimplaininir and saying he most eooDomiae. "Economize? Did be say where be waa going to begin ? " " Vs ; on bis table, he said." "Tben he moat be going to take away tbe tablecloth," wai the filial deolara lion. Beth norry, Minister (to oonviot) My good man, l'i .very sorry to find vou here b prison. Convict 1,111 Yee, air; bat you ain't half 10 sorry as) 1 am. a " Alonso is the true metal after all mother.' ' I'm glad of that, my dear, for eo many men are counterfeits nowadays yoo know." " I had my doubts) there, too so I sounded him, and be gave forth the genuine diamond ring." TELEGRAPHIC SUMMARY. Henry M. Stanley will leave Egypt on April 7th. The Ohio River is 48 het inches- high and rising two inches an hoar. Dr. Seamarez-Bmith has been elected Episcopal Primate ot Australia. The Italian Socialists will ran thirty candidates at the ooming elections. Several foreign Jews have been arrested in Leipiicon the charge of treason. Dr. MoQlynn announce! that he intends soon to go to England and Ireland to lec- ture. Prince Bismarck baa made arrange mente to vacate ihe palace of the Chancellor at an early date. Bartholdi ii horrified at the ose to which it is proposed to pat the island on which stands hit statue. The work of the Berlin Labor Conference ia so far advanced that the final aittiogsare expected on April 'Jib. Mr John Andrew, Professor of Elocution in Mt Gill University, died in Montreal at ttte age of 62 yesterday. Pocket -picking Samaritans in Montreal itciu 9230 fromajuuug man they found insensible on the street Richard and George Daviea, brothers), who murdered their father at Crewe, have been eentenoed to death. A Congo despatch layi the bodiei of the victims of the recent massacre at Gbongoa were eaten by the natives. Mr*. Springer, an alleged clairvoyant and medical specialist in London, was fined 150 yesterday for practising medicine. A Washington, D.C., special says : Ithae en decided to appoint General Mahone . 8. Consul- General at Patis, in pJaua of General Ra'libone. The coal mine owneri in Bruniwiok. ermany, have granted an increase of agea to tbe striking miners, and the men lave gone back to work. The second ballots at Toulouse Saturday or members of Ihe Chamber of Deputies resulted in the election of MM. Lsygne and Jalvinbac, liepnblioana. It is reported the three principal leather manufacturer* ia Newark, N.J., have made erms with an English syndidate. Tbe sell og prioe is less than 15,000,000. James A. Hill, a brakeman on tbe Rome, Vatertown ,t Ogdensburg Railway, wae njured Thursday night at Ransonvtlls, M. "-. and died yesterday morning. An official announcement that Great Britain disavows the occupation of tbe dis mted Shire territory has allayed the excitement of the people in Lisbon. A 4- year-old girl at Wardsville, in a game it hide-and-seek, was) put in a < hum, ana ler mother ignorantly poured scalding water in the charn, killing the chil 1. Rev Oeorge Jemieeon, formerly ol Amherttbnrg, has just died, leaving 9100, 000 to two nephews who have been woik ing in the woods of Northern Michigan. A special edition of the Berlin Htickian- uigtr contains Imperial resoripte cordially thanking Prince Bismarck for his seivicea and appointing him Duke of Laoenborg. Mr. Labouohere on Friday night intro daoed bis annual resolution for the aboli tion of hereditary defeated by a vote against. A company has been organized in Chi oago which, its promoters say, will builc the largest plate glass factory ui the worlc at Bllwood, Ind. The capital stock ia 12,000.000. After a sharp debate in tbe House of Lards on Friday night the Marqoisof Salia Jury's motion accepting Ihe report ol thi Parnell Commission waa adopted without a diviaion. Advices have been received from Qnilli mace, East Africa, to the effect that I 1'oringnese customs official and his escort of 300 nativee have been maeeacred nuar Lake Nyaeta. Prairie flree are raging in Southeastern Colorado down to the Kansas border Already a hundred thousand acres have been devastated. Ibere are no facilities for flgbtiug the fire. Tbe new Brazilian ironclad Tamaodare baa been launched at Rio Janeiro. Preei dent Da Fonseoa and other high offluiala and tbe members of the diplomatic oojrpa witneeeed the launching. Tbe Haitian students agitation has ex tended to the nnivereities of Kitff Charkoff. In all 700 students have been arreateid. It la probable the St. Petersburg University will be closed. Gntthorn Oalonga, a Bwede and a faith our ist in Brooklyn, N Y., was indicted on Saturday for man daughter in the saoOM degree for allowing hia 10 months' old to die without medical attendanoe. English sgents have eeized two himdrm riflee and a ton of powder under tbe prohi bitury law from a German expeditiuu let by Architect Hoffman, who wae going I found a settlement at Lalute on the Somal coast. A Washington correspondent says tba it is proposed by the Senate Interstate Commerce Committee to bring Canatli railroad H under the Interstate Commerce Act by forcing them to give a bond observe ite provisions. It ia said the Czar leaned towards mercy in the ossof Madame Tshobrikova, whoee pamphlet on Siberian prisons wae smugglec into bie room . bat he was overrated by th Minister of tbe Interior, who ordered the she be exiled to Siberia. At the sale of tbe late) Abraham Bay ward's famous polleotion uf autographs etc., yesterday in London, the origina draft, with autograph oorreotioae, of Gen Lee's laxt addreee to tbe Confederate arm; was knocked down for 106. M. Naqoet resigned his seat in h French Senate yesterday. He said heonl outered tbe Senate in older to seoare divorce. He praters to be in a Cham be oleoted by popular inffraga. The rsedini of bis resignation canted an uproar The ooet to England of the infloenaa ep dsmio is estimated at tea millions of dol lars, about one half of thia amount bavin been paid by insurance companies am friendly societies, and the remainder rep resent, -ig loss of wages and disorgamialio of bnaiaeea. Lewi* Wigle. e-M. P., ot Leamington has received word from the Government that some time daring the ooming summer an offioer would be lent up to Pelee Island to investigate the claim! of tbe squatter! on the several portions of the naval reserve at that place. Ontario A Western freight No. 30 wai wrecked at Rockland, N. Y , on Thursday night. Tbe train broke) in two, and, run- ning together, sent the can in all direc- tions One planged into the depot, injuring Telegraph Operator Chase. A brakemau died of his injuries. Robert Mosli-y (colored) was hanged near Huntsville, Ala., yesterday for an at- tempted outrage on Mils Ellen Austin He met his death near a pit in which he had lain in wait for the lady, and was buried therein. Five hundred men were in tbe mob, itioludiog 60 colored men. The passenger t'sm on the Union Pacific waa ditched a few miles from the Colorado State Line Saturday evening, the rails spreading. Only the sleeper remained on reported wires sre tne track. Four persons are killed and several injartd. The down and information ia hard to get. A destructive cyclone passed over the village of Edgemoor, 8. C., yesterday after- nooD. Fourteen booses were blown down and a npgro named Jsaita Miller was killed and several persona were leiioasly injured. Tbe roof of the Georgia, Carolina and the Northern depot was blown half a mile way. The committee of ministers investigating ie charges ugainst Bishop J. J. Eaber, of f'O, yesterday found him gailty of all ie charges. They recommend that iahop Edher be suspended as a bishop nd aa a minister of the Evangelical ^nomination until the General Conference 1891. Miss Emily Virgil waa fatally borntd esterday at her father's home in Corn- took, Washington county, N. V. She had ot been iu her right mind for some time. Miss V irgil had set her clothing on fire, id after everything had been burned off er she walked to her brother's house, here she died. The Duke of Manchester died last night Naples of peritonitis and dysentery, peers, which Of 139 tor and we> 201 Bow Tner Danrvd In Uraiidmi (iraodioa told me all about It ; Told me so 1 couldu i doubt it. How -in- danoi <1- my grandma daoosd- l.i'liK WO How -be held her protty bead. How bordanay skirls sbeet>res4, Bow the turul her littlu Ices Nulling Ilk.' liuuiao rose! Luug ago. iraudnia - hair wa* brigbt and sanny, Oiuinittd i-beks too an. bow funny lieaJly >|iut pretty glil ! I.UIIK ago. Bless her! why. she wears a cap. (iraniiiuartties. anil talurxa nap I'vi-rv iiiKl" Jy . ud >i t Urau'liua dsuwdtb* miuuet Long ago. Now Uf nits tliere. rockinfi, rooking. Alwats kulUlDK Kraiidpa'a htockiiur. i livery uirl was taught to knit Long Mi". Yet her figure u aa neat Vml her ways so siaid aod vweot. 1 can altuool i-e her uow Hemline to her pa taors bow, Long ago. (iratidiuu iay> our moder HtipimiK. rusiiinx wlurllu, Woald liavi- .iicn-ke.4 ibu gentle folk. it auo. No they moved with stately grace Kvi ryiuing ia rr..rM>r place ; OlidiDK hlnwlv forward , then Hlowly cciurn M int; r>aok a^ain, LOUK ago. Modern ways are cuite ularuiiuR, Uraiiilina nays, ''ill tx>>u wore i-ti Girls and IKIVH. I uiean, oeu Lung ago. Hravuly mwlest. irraudly hy What f all it u. r-iiouUI ury .Iii-t like tuien who intjt lu tbcir graceful iniuuf 1 Luug ago. Wltb the minuet In fashtnn, Wbo wuuld U y aito a pasuon .' All woul J war the calm (hejr Wore bous; ago In tniii' to eota, If I perohanee, Sbould tell mvKrauiicbiklof uur danoo. I nhoiild really like to sav. We did, dear in eoma sucb way, Lung ago. The -iprliia; CMrl. Tbu winter Kirl . going, and tbe souiuiar guJ is oonnnK, Thu buds aro ou ihu trees, aud tbe birds besjin lu i nt, Aud w r uearlim last ibo time when wo 11 near tbe bees a-buinmlof, For already anli rejoices wiUi Uie promise m ' tter three weeks' illness. The Duchess was with him at hii death, having arrived im Monte Carlo on Wednesday. He ia ocoeeded by Lord Mandeville, who mar d in 1876 Contuelo, daaghtor of Don ntomo Yznaga del Balle, of Ravenawood, 8.A., and Cuba. A Brazilian company, through their iewoastle representative* have acquired a dip building yard at Sootawood, user 'Vewoaatle-on-Tyne, which baa been idle or a number of years. Msn are already at work making necessary preparations. The ooropany contemplates building a fleet of learner* to be principally used in Devi- ating tbe large Sooth American rivers. The students of tbe St. Petersburg Uni- versity and tbe Academy cf Agriculture engaged in a at nous riot on Friday. The students insist open tbe restoration of the beral regulations of 1863, and the re- naal of tbe authorities to comply with heir demand led to the outbreak. Five lundred students were arrested and im- iriaoned. Troops guard tbe streets in he vicinity of the University, and sll name in the neighborhood is stopped. The newspapers make no mention of tbe list or ban oea. The rtsnlt of the conference of tbe Exe- cutive Coauoil of the Federation of Labor n New Tork last Saturday has just been made public. Vice Preaident Martin says no one trade will be ordered lo demand the eight hour law nor to strike to enforce tbe demand. It waa optional with each trade lo say whether it desired or thought it could secure the eight-boor day. Commu- nications aeot to the Federation from nearly all trades say they den ire to and are able to win eight hours. Action is lift to Ihe stroogist trade. A last night's N. T. Ifrmld cable says : Tbe sensation in Home to-night ia tbe announcement in the faniuila that Andrea ,'osta, the Socialist Dtputy, has fled to America. The Chamber baa bf en for two days wrestling with hii case. He has been condemned to three years' imprisonment for reeisling the police, but he oannot be arrested unless ths Chamber consents. There was a scene of great excitement lo day during the debate. I do not believe Costa has tied, although I feel sore Signer 3rispi will succeed in removing his legis- lative protection. The outward calm in official circles at Vienna concerning the changes wbiob have taken place in Berlin done not coincide with tbe actual feeling in the highest luarters. Prinoe Bismarok was a long- proved ally of Austria. Of General Von Caprivi nothing is known. The high praiiee of his merits sounded by the Ger- man press are looked upon as insincere and unreliable. Tbe Emperor himself ia regarded as the real successor in tbe Chancellorship. Ha, it ie asserted, has a tpmperaiiit nt wbioh causes apprehension ot surprising and dangerous resolutions. Tbu winter uirl aud Hummer girl have utiarmn there a uo titnyiiiK, Tbe HOB in 'ur rejnli-mg, tbe other In pique. But : . ii III* maiden ol tb s|<rtDK uo luvet is tni ugblng , No vurnai poet yet to her ua* sung a (annul lay And yul we know the's lairer, sweeter than tbe two together, In uur UsoidMuit' new pring bouuet and bar raimwiit Qnu and i{ay ; She * lu tlm lily aud UM roee in oae, when flue's tbu watbr, And slm walks to oliuroh with modeil air oa joyous >:utr day. Talk not about your 'inter or your Hummer girls, I pray yoa. Tbe furs auU aikm ol tbe one, tho other a htrbeaeps, Hut i| to church with me un I raster Sunday. twill repay you, Aud MW th |iriiig girl bloeminK in bur bonnet aud now iloshes, Uutttm i \ntrttr. Til* Men Who Uo Not I. lit. Thewurld in sympathetic. Tbe ktateuiODt uouo cau duuut . Wbvu At in trouble Jon'twe think tbalBsliould lieip lulu out ' Ol juurtu we Uaveu't time ounelvos to oaro for any one, Uul ;st w IIPI> that other folLa will MO that it is duue. Wo waul the grisf and |*n.iry of oavtli to be r. 1 eved. Wed liav* the lttlee k raudly folit, the Tit to r ia aciueved . We do uot care to iaki: tbe load, aud tan J Ino brtisu aud brunt. at UtUnsi we're a failure, bat weru iplsndid on tne grant. And there aro tbers, su we lioU, as <m ou war we jug, Who aui u, Jo their lilting on Un small em J el the losj . Tbey d.ra tot .>( Mowmi.nud iney sUrif to inako it known That were tnr* no ono else to Ueip.thetd ilftn all aloiiu. If talkinii were plfi.tive there are Kon.a aad cores u( iiuui Wbu d uiovu a mountain nit its beau and move It l>a< agaui ; But as a cleat, to slate it plain, in language nm and bluut, They're uever worth a cent to lilt, for all thoy do is grunt. 4a Unaaeenaary Uolley Some ot theee philosophers make me very tired with their fotlith questions. Here's one : " Why don't our young men oomu to the front ?" Jay i mith What's tbe matter with that ? Uolley Matter ! Why. if the queelioner bad ordinary powers of observation he would see that you bald-beaded chaps moDopoli/e the seals nearest the stage, A Very Qaaer Material. Mr. Snaggs- Well, I never expected they would make steamship tiukute of celluloid. Mre. Stiaggs Ob, they are not. Mr. 8naggs--Well, yon book for Ger- many and aee if they don't sell yon Lloyd tickets. Hi. Little MaldK of staaJala) >IBEET IHINCK 1LBBBT VICTOR. Prinos Albert Victor wae) received at Mandalay, by a troop of Burmese girls, and this is a rough translation ot tbe SOUR they sang to him : Betr to the Throne, uail I Happy under thy protection, our huarte i>eat joyuuelj like tbe beating ol viuioriuun drumal We little maids aultitu Idee I (irauuson of Her, wbo nigns In London t'sjlaov, nurniyiiig Irimi I Mid to laud tu M,uida4) in. u <lost dulifht us I Most honored are w viiet little maid", in 'bat a 1'nnoe baa visited this la d in ur day. who IB in'ir tu i hi' ' Uioue, belore WDOUI tnu whole world ireuiblee, and h.wi ijlury id cotersn uoa> with Ibe aarui t The ibuudruue powor and tilury o( the rnyu. gfKudauu Is able to DiUig a bunUrou Huvnrvigns into sul>mias on I l.'uequalledasbsis with Uisiuuujb-llke(aoe,inadn I. r trio urahip of maidens from the (our quarturs ol tne ear h I Mlirur < f bin frraodninlher and surrounded by bis army, we maids rewreuu* him In tbia assembly as our highest honor ! The above is in the form of a solo , and Ihe admiring declaration of the one maiden wbo represents the whole group, ia followed by this remarkable vaoauR. On tiin water th. y strike Ilku llghtninn t.; " Did yoa pass the laet examination ."' laid a Hi-nator to a rather stupid son. " Well, er no ; I didn't jnet exactly pass) it. I laid down my band, as) it were." " Ton make me tires)," a* the whee said totbo whe 1 w right. We don't object to eeeia| a woman basils, but will be sorry when she has to hoop. " Aad bow did you like the ssrvioss at our obnroh last evening?" " There I Bo it waa a religions service? I ooaldn'tbavs told whether it wae a religious service or a On ttio water tawpido , land they raduce whole mouniainii witli damauiaik ! With rinho 111" hnadrass of pure rubies, be is a aeooBd Indra I With hnxK-luw. flanblnr like llgblnliiR and worth a bniidnd tn<>UM>,.d IHVSIM ol xold, brlKbi as the son is his i.lor y ..ml "UJT. ntu on Uie eaiUt. grand opera. yoa know." I'm awfully near sighted, ooofselioaery. dipped in sugar" are a new A Soldier's yot< a. Tvaajno. A soldier was court martialed last month at Venice for breach ot diaoipline and oon- ii'iuimd to six mouths' imprisonmeat. When informed by the court that ho ooui.i appeal he oootem|>tnoaaly tore o<T hii num- ber and other insignia, threw them ou thu door, and sbooted : ' Caned be yoar army : You are a lot of aeeaaeins I" For " la he was condemned to seven yean uloee eonBnemsnt in prison.- Ntw fork Sun. Tbe faebloo editor wrote Now grenadine* are ia Bpaniib. lao* patterns, bat the oompo>iior set it up Nlnsgrena diersare in Buaoiab lake posterns." Bo the foreman pat Ibe line under tho bead of " Military Affairs.