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>^ A Miserable Wife "Ye«, proleaeoT, I ivm afraid I shall h*v» to renit or sell the, farm ; my wife i« so miserahle. I camnot carry it on without hiring, ajid hiring eats up all the profita." I looked at the speaker admiringly. H-6 was abouft fifty years old, and as Tobust as a man of thirty. Bis whis- kwTB were aeoitlly trimmed, showing a fujll. red cheek. Hte wore a jaunty hat aad natty cutaway coat, and bedow his vest bta.Bg a single fob and heavy gold aeaa. I vras proud of him. He was such ft perfect rural specimen of a gentleman from the districts that I wunted to imprinit his picture on my memory. "So yolar wife is miserable V "Yes. Kinder droofning, with a dry cofugh and no ambition. She justi kinder dra^s aroiund the house and looks so peaked and scrawny it gives me the blue^. It does, I swan." "NatkuraJly weakly, wasn't she ?" "She I Oh, no. When I majried her, •he was the smartest girl onl the creek. She lused to work for my father, and the way she made the woirk stand afoiund too(k my eye. She ^vbs a poor girl and her iodloeitiry got her a rich hoaband." Btn be took out a gold watch, looked «t the time, put it back and adjusted the aid,k fob an the fromt of his nicely fitting trouBers. "So she did weJl, getitiog motrried on acooiunit of heir ind\iHtry V "Why, of couiTB©. She was getting an'ly f 2.96 a week, and she became mis- tlreas of a farm." "SzctuBe me, buili how much are you wrorth now â€" confidentially, you know? I am a scienjUfic man and will never v»a such tacta to your injury with the "Well, prafeseoir, I oould crow4 |60,- 000 pretty haid," "Thait is good. BicW) loag have you beea maSTied?r' "Thirty yeajs next JtaJy, We went oa a little teeter, and I poropoaed the ma.tcb and Jane was willing." "How mlioh do you suppose you have made in these thirty yeaxs«" "Bumâ€" usnâ€" lemme see. I got the Davis farm the first ten years, then I nfun in debt for the Simmonti pJace, got piriceB foo: my cheese sind sq;uared up both pJaces. Well, I thinik 1 have ideared up {30,000 since we spliced." "Wery good indeed. And your wife hao been a greatJ heAp all this timet" "Oh, yon belt I She was a ratUer I She took care of her baby and the milk from twen/ty cows. I tell you she made the tittware flop I Why, we have had four childreji. and she never bad a hired girl over six mornlths in that time." "Spilendid, ajid you have cleared {30,- 000 i>a that timef" "Yes, easy." "Now, (how much has your wife taadet" "She» Why, durn it, profaasor, she la my wife." "I know It. But what baa she made 1 Iota say she was poor when you marri- ed her. Now, what has she made f" "Why, you beat all. Why. she is my wife, and we owii it all together." "Doyoat Then she oandrawon your baak acco>uinit? Then she bos a horse Mid cajTiagie when she wants thcmH rhein she ha« a Servant girl when she w»n/ts (me f Then she rides out for her haaJth, and haeawatuh and gold chain as yotu do? Xa that so?" "Profesear, you muaiC be crazy. No- body's wife is boss In that shape. Who vrer heard of siucb a thing ?" "Now, look here. You say she did well in marrying rich, and I cannot see It. If she was j[etting {a.-W per week) when you mavried her and had saved he* vtwes, she would have bad now I3.0OU. If she had invested it. she woiuild have had |6,000. Now you tell mo she is txrokein down, used up and mis- erable, and looka so badly she makes you sick, and she hos no money, no help a.n<l will probably get nothing but a Scotch granate tombstone when she dies." "Profeaaor, if you were a younger mOiO, I iwokild lick you quicke<r'Q a sprimz lamb can jump a thistle." "What foil' ? I am stating this case "Then, my friend I shoUJd begin to f^rly, am I not ? Your wife is; no long- er yowng. She Is no longer handsome. Hteir hands are as hard as a local edi- tor's cfaeeK, and she has stooped over a miilk can until she has a hump on ber back like a peddler." "eWjiult up will you?" "She ban raised four ohiildren. One of tibieim is a/t college. One is taking musio lessons. The otfaeir two are teaching acbood. She is at home alone, goijag round In ft tireodmill life which will end in a rosewood coffin and a first- claoa oouintiv funeiralâ€" " "Stop that, profteaor, will you ?" "While you are still a handsome man, with juit eoough ^ay i,n your whiskers to make you look interesting. No doubt you hav© beon tJiinking of some nice young Kirl of eigbtteen who would jump at the chanoe to marry your thirty cows and twenty acnes ot hops." "Professor, I won't stay here if you don't let u'p on that." "And your wife does not look well in that mew Watertown wagon, so you take your hired man and neighbor's girls to meeting. Your wife never goes S'ttywhiere, so yoiU do not get her a watch like yau|r own, nor a new silk dress, nor a. pony that she could drive, nor a basket ; phaeton that she could climb into withouc a ladder. She never saya an^thiu^, so you have not' got hen Hi set of teeth like your ovv n, gold aind i<ubber, and her nose ia pushed up into her forehead and ho.r face wrinkles. She never goes out. She baa to work in the kitchen, so she gets no nice shoes like ycfliiB." "Dbimi my ekm; if I don't'â€"" "No, yoiu won't. You will just let her woink rlff^t ailung, aaJ then .vau will moory socae bigbfiier who will pull every hair out of your head and serve yoiu right, too." "Professor, for mercy's sake, stop I" "When you know, and I know, that if your wife had a chance to rest and had nice clothes like other women she would be one of the best looking women of her age in the town." "I swan I beiieve it." "And, old as ^he is. ii yotu were to bet olt of the carriage next Sunday and drive around with the colts and tell her you wanted her to go to meet- ing witi you. she would actually blush wjth pleasure." "Di-roed if I don't do it." "Then, Monday, it you WBie to tell bwp you were going to hire a girl, and that she must sit in the sitting-room by the new nickel plated coal stove and work on that new silk dress you are go- ing' to buy her â€" " "Professor, that's me.' "And then hand her a nice wallet with steel claape and with five nice nlaw J20 notes in it, and tell her to do heir own tirading after this, because you have got tired looking after so much money." "I will, as sure as you live." "And the:n. when the tear starts in hen eye. and the same old blush comes out that you thought was so nice when you went on that teeter, if you would kiss herâ€"" "It's all right, professor.' think she bad been made something by marrying a rich man." |;You'r« right, old mam." 'Then I think you wouldn't have a miserable wife any longer. Then you ^^^d no longwr want to sell or rent the fajim, but would be showing the mother of your children how much you rj»peot6<l her for her life of devotion, iheu she would know she was a part- ner in that {30,000. Then, if you made yoitt will all right, and she had a good rest, I think she wouJld some tune be "^•i, eu'erible widow.'" Think so, professor?" 1 know it. Women is a pdant that wa>nta sunshine. You have been leaving youa- wife im the shade too much. She r^ , ^^ color. You have made her think she is an old woman. She has given up aJl hope of admiration and love, and is only waiting to die and get oiut or the way. Suppose you were treated so?" ;;What, me* I am all right." Jtes, I know. Women pity you be- ?*u»e you are tied to sucbl a sorry look- ing wife. Foolish old maids and silly ginls whisper behind your back what a njoe looking man you are, and what a stack of a wife you have, and you are just soft enough to wear tight boots and oil what little hair you have left on, the top of your bead and go around figliixing up how long before your wife will die." "Say now, see here, professor, there is a limit to endurance. I am going." "I aim comiug down to see you next week. Will it be all right?" Yes, if you drop this kind of tailk and won't toll of my complaints about my wife. I'll try youir meclioine. Would you stick foir that prescription about the pooketbook and {20 notes?" "Htoiw much did you say you have made together?" "I cave. The dress will be allright, and the pony and phaeton will be haaidy for the gals. Come down and see us, old ma<n, but not a word about this talk. If you wiasnt an old man, I'dâ€"" Tipping bis deirby back on his head and shaking the wrinkles ouit of his tight trousers, he put his haind into his pockets and sauntered away. "There," said 1, "ia one man who has taken the only legal and God given way of getting rid of a mi^erabile wife." 4,000 DUELS A YEAR IN GERMANY. I,00« a Vcnr Ib rrasee aad ti.JSS Dneln In Uio Lut Tea Yrarii In Italy. (More duels are fought in Germaoy than in any other country. IMost of them, however, are student duels, ous than slashed cheeks and torn aoa ous than slashed obeeks or torn scalps. Of all German university towns little Jena and Goettingen are most devoted to the code. In Goettingen the num- ber of duels average one a day, year in and year out. On one day several years ago, twelve duels were fought in Goettingen in twenty-four hours. In Jena the record for one day in recent times is twenty-one. Fully 4,000 stu- dent duels are fought every yeaj: in tbe German empire. In addition to these there are the more serious duels )>e- tween officers and civilians. Among Germans of mature years the annual number ol duels is about one hundred. Next to Germany, France is most giv- en to the duelling habit. She has every year uncounted meetings "merely to satisfy honor;'' that is, merely to give two men the opportunity to wipe out insults by crossing swords or firing pis- tols in such a way as to preclude the slightest chance of injury. In tbeduel statistics these meetings are not reck- oned, as they are far less perilous than even the German student duels. Of the serious duels, France can txiast fully 1,000 from New Year's to New Year's. The majority of these are among army officers. More than half of these re- sult in wounds; nearly 20 per cent. In serious wounds. Italy has bad 2,750 duels in the last ten years, and has lost fifty citizens by death on the field of honor. Some 2,400 of these meetings were consum- mated with sabros, 1'79 with pistols, 90 with rapiers, and one with revolvers. In 974 cases the insult was given in newspaper articles or in public letters regarding literary Quarrels. More than 700 principals were insulted by word of mouth. Political discussions led to 559; religious discussions to 29. Women were the cause of 180. Quar- rels at the gambling table were respon- sible for 189. A summary shows that, as regards numbers, the sequence of duelling coun- tries is: Germany, France, Italy, Au- stria, Russia. As r^ards doadliners of dnels, Italy comes first. 'Then como Germany, France, R,u8sia, and Austria in the order named. For the most seri- ous duels the [listol is the favoritawea- pon in all five countries. ' i AiN OFFICIAL ALIBI. Kind Lad^â€" Poor fellow I I presume that there is not a solitary consola- tion in your affliction. Blind Manâ€" Only one, generous lady. Kind Ladyâ€" And pray, what may that one be T â-  Blind Manâ€" Utit I can't he accused by any of de talent of lookin' fer work, ladjr. SPEEDIER TELEGEAPHING. AN INVENTION THAT INCREASES A WIRE'S CAPACITY. Waller P. PlillllpB and H. H. Weluy Exblbit Wbat riK'y Say Id ini Improvement on I he Wli«atiituue8y8t<-mâ€" Tbe Mes«uBesto Itv Kcatl by Muuud Iniilead of Hlebt. There wa-j an interesting exhibition in New York the other day, of a re- cently invented nystem of rapid teleg- rap'by. The system is the invention of R. H. Weiny and Walter P. Phil- lips, and it is intended to be applied directly to the ordinary telegraph linesi and to be operated by tihe currents now in use. What the Weiny-Phillips sys- tem will do ia to double or treble the number of words that can be sent over a .single wire, and this without requiring that the operators learn anything beyond that which the pre- â- sent Morse operators know now. 'I\his result is accomplished by t.he addition to each office of a set of very simple instruments. When there is no need of burrying matter forward over the wires the rapid systeon can be cut out of use by obanging a plug, and the wires can be used in the ordinary way, sending messages directly by the key. The system is one which is of value principally to the telegmph companies themselves and to the users of leased wires, but the public would often find a direct benefit from its adoption through getting me%ages promptly which are now often <lelayed when there is trouble with the wires and their capacity is reduced below the nor- mal. THE WEINY-PHILLIPS SYSTEM is a direct competitor with the Wheat- .stone automatic system, which is used extensively in Greet Britain and Eu- rope and between large cities in this country. Like the Wheatstone system, it requires the preparation of the mes- sage on a strip of paper before it can be put t^brough the rapid automatic sender, but the inventors claim for it several distinct advantages over the Wheatstone, both in general speed and in accuracy. In the Wheatstone sys- tem the oharaotera which represent the telegraphic alphabet are punched in a .strip of paper on a machine something like a typewriter. This strip is then, run rapidly through a machine which transmits the dots and dashes to an automatic recorder at the other end of the wire, where the dots and dashes are reproduced on another strip. The latter U then turned over to operators, who read tJic messages and write them out eitbeiT by hand or with a typ«>- writer. In the new .system the messages are recorded in raised telegraphic charac- ters on a strip of paper, and this strip being run through a proper machine, the obaracters are repeated by sound at the other end of the wire, and the operator, reading theim by ear, takes toem upon a typewriter or by hand. The traniscribing operator can vary the speed of the tape as it goes tbrougo the machine to suit himself, can stop it at any point, and can pull it back if he waji'ts it rejieated. It is assert- ed that the greater number of mistakes that occur in the Wheatstone sqrstem ore in the reading and transcribing, and that these are done away with in tihe new .system because the ear is more accurate than the eye and also faister. Tthese claims seemed all to be proved by the tests niiade. An article wan chosen for the test. This was handed to a Morse operator, and while he sent it the operator who was after- ward to traniscribe it left the room. T!he sending op<>.rator worked at the ordinary key, just as he would in send- ing a message over the wire in the present Morse system. The message, however, iostead of going over the main wire, wais sent only over a local office wire. It was received in a maah- ine which was to all intents and pur- poses like the registering machine which every operator used forty years ago before men (had learned to read by Bound. THE DOTS AND DASHES were reproduced in a strip of paper, eaob being raised above the paper by a point which pressed that jmrt of t,he papej into a groove in a wheel which the paper pa'ised over. Instead of producing a single line of these im- pressions, tjhere (were three points which worked side by side and left three sets of duplicate ampresaions. The duplication is mearely to insure ac- curacy. The mesetage was telegraphed in Lhisi part of the process at the or- dinary rate of ispeed. Now came the .second process â€" the transmission over Dhe main wire. The 1 transmitting instrument and the re- j cording instrument at opposite ends of the wire were set going at a .speed tbxee times as great as that of t.be hand operator. TJie strip of paper with j the message imprinted on it was start- ed through the transmitter, and the recorder wenlt rattling away at a rate which the man could read, but ev- ery impression was afterward found to he an exact duplicate of those in the strip going through the transmitter. When this process was complete the paper from the recorder was brought over to the transmitter and the latter machine wosi slowed down again to a speed equal to that of ordinary tele- graphing. The transmitter was now a«ume(t to be only an office maohine run upon an office circuit and entirely .separate from the line wire, as would be the message from the transmitted copy and turning it tinto ordinary writing. A typewriter who read tele- graphty by sounds sat in- front of his machine, and as soon as the strip was .started through the transmitter he began to print out the message. When he had finished the typewritten copy was compared with the original article and found to be exactly correct. In practice the manner in which the .system would be used is this : Since (he transmitter is able to sen dthree times as mtny messages in a given time as a single operator can send or receive, there would bo three operators in each office to each wire. In the .sending of- fice to each wire. In the .sending of- fice the oiierators would be kept busy making the tai)e copins of t^e messages by ticking them off on office recorders. As fast us their messages were ready they would be run through the tranv mitter, whioh would reproduce them at the triple speed at the other end of the wire. Ilhere the three other op- erators would each take a part of the messoges and transcribe them. PASSENGER WHEELBARROWS. rbry Carry atx Pcrteun and are Exleunlvely I srd lu <'lilnn. The wheellbarrow affords one of the ciiief means of travel and transport in China, especially in the northern part of the empire and throughout the Great Plain. The Chinese form is a decided improvement on the types used in west- ern countries, for it is so constructed that the load, which sometimes is very great in bulk and weight, is carried over the wheel, and not between it and the man who propels it. The hi^ cost of timber and the bad roads throughout the country necessitate the wheeltiarrows being both rude and strong, with axles and wheels able to bear the strains which they experience. The wheelbarrow is generally con- structed of oak, at a coat of about 16 shillings. Its weight is 120 pounds; ex- treme length, 6 feet G inches, including shafts; extreme breadth, 3 feet 2 inches, and height, 3 feet inches. The wheel is 3 feet in diameter, and has an iron tire 1 1-4 inches wide, by 1-4 inch thick. To aid in steadying and propelling the vehicle the wheelbarrow man wears a strap across his shoulders which is at- tached to the shafts on each side. Boxes, bales of goods, or whatever the loads may consist of, are secured to the wheelbarrow by ropes. ( THE CHiAlIUiB for carrying an average load is albout 1 shilling and 5 pence per mile, (jut varies according to the load and the state of the road to be travelled over. The wheelbarrow has seating accom- modation for four people, two on each side, and the tare for four people is 2 1-4 pence per mile. Passenger fares are lower thOin those for merchandise, on account of the avoidance of labor in loading and unloading. A cushioned seat is provided (or the passenger, who generally sits with one leg resting on the front of the barrow and the other hanging over the side in a rope loop, which serves as a foot rest. Thus a native is wheeled for miles over the rough roads of the country, with se- vere jolting, accompanied l>y a pecul- iar squeak of the axle in the case of most harrows. Immediately liehind the wheelbarrow, between the shafts, there is a long, oblong-shaped iiaskut^ in which the wheelbarrow man koe^ps his few belongings. On the Ureiit Plain wheelbarrows are occasionally seen with a sail set, when a fair wind proves a great help to the trundling of the tor- row over a level way. Since the institution of cotton mills at Shanghai, foreign settlements, the wheelbarrow has been extensively used as a {passenger vehicle, especially for carrying workwomen to and from the mills. One man can wheel six women for a distance of about three miles, morning and evening, the charge l>cing 1 shilling and 5 {fence per month. The average earnings of a wooeltnrrow man are about 8 1-2 pence per day. About 4,000 licenses are issued monthly to the same number of wheeNiarrows olying for hire in the streets ot the foreign settlements at Shanghai, where, being under the municipal regulations, they are, perhaps, the best in China. THE FEE FOB A LilCENHE Is II 1-2 pence a month, and no wheel- barrow is allowed, according to the re- gulations, to carry more than 6 1-2 chests of tea, or 8 1-2 iKixes of kerosene oil, or 20 1-2 boxes of soap, thirty pounds each; or ten boxes of soap, fifty- two pounds each, or two bales of piece goods. The width of the packages must not exceed four feet â€" that is, two feet on each side of the barrowiâ€" and no whevlbarrow is allowed under any cir- cumstances to carry more than 61)0 pounds of dead weight. These regula- lions are, however, not strictly adhered to. Sometimes in the streets of the foreign settlements at Shanghai aliout fifty wbeelllMirrows may bo seen trav- elling one liehind the other, oainh car- rying two barrels of English Portland cement and pushed by one man. Vary frequently, however, a load ia carried on one side of the barrow only, so that the edge of the 1 1-4 inch lire cuts into the macadam roadway like a knife. The bales sometimes project three feet on each side, the man pushing the barrow hfin'i iilmosi invisible from the front. The municijial roads are chiePly of ma- cadam, and the damnige they sustain from this traffic is very great. It hna l>een found, after rei«Mited oxperiments, that granite broken to uass through a 3^-4 inch ring and rolled in the usual manner ia the only kind of maiwd.im roadway that will stand this traffic. It is e.xirnordinary to seo a fthinaman skilfully txilancing and propelling a heavy load on one side of a burrow, II ml. considprintt that there are alxiut 4,000 of these vehicles traveling through the streets of the settlements, in ad- dition to a large traffic, of other kinds, the upsets and accidents are remark- ably few. A WONHXERiFUL TREE. The most wonderful tree that grows is found in the Pacific Islands. From this tree the natives procure towels, cloth, tinder and bread. It ia about as tall as a three-story house, and the branches which come out straight from the tree like so many arms, are covered with leaves and fruit not un- like apples in appearance, and it is in season during eight months of the yea^, the natives finding a good living in it. As for glue, it uozes from the trunk of the tree, and is found useful for many purposes; the leaves ma<ke ex- cellenl tewels for the natives who care to use them, and from the inner bark of the tree a kind of coarse cloth can be made. Asides this its dried blos- .soms are used for tinder in lighting fires, and the wotid is in greiU demand for building purposes. fCUEIOUS ELECTRIC CURES. IHPORTANT DISCOVERIES HAVE RE- CENTLY BEEN MADE. tiout and Obesity Yield t« Ibe Treutuieutâ€" MuHculur KnerKy U Keuewedâ€" A Paper C'auue. A wonderful advance has been made in the new science of electro-therai>y. Electricity has been used for many pur- poses by physicians for the last few years, and with signal success, and the discovery iwhich has now been made will certainly tend to bring it mora into favor than ever as a ourativa agent. M. d'Arsonval, a distinguished mem- ber of the French Institute, has tor some years been making experiments with electricity, his object being to find out to what extent it could lb* used successfully in cases of diahetea, gout, rheumatism, ubiesity, and similar ailments, and now at last he has com- municated to the French Academy ot Sciences the result of his investiga- tions. According to Professor Bou- oherd, these ailments are due to a general weakening of the organs of nutrition, and it follows that the way to eradicate them is to properly strengthen these organs. Now, we are told that if a patient is placed in the interior or wit-hin the influence of a high current his nutritive organs will gradually become stronger and more active and his health will in all respects be improved. , i i i HOW IT IS DONE. The application of the remedy is very sintple. One of the electric poles is in communication with the water in a small bath, into which the patient's feet are plunged, while the other pola is connected with his hands by conduo* tors, which are furnished with metallia bandies. It will be seen that the cur- rent passes through the entire body, from the feet to the bands. Those who have tried this method o( treatment describe it as excellent. Af- ter u short time the weakened organ- ism recovers its former stength, the muscular energy seems as though born again, the poisonous elements lose much of their force in the case ot diabetic patients, sleep comes back, and all pains in the limbs disappear. These are some of the benefits wbiolk can be gained by means of this electrical treatment, which is known aa the method of auto-induction, or "elec- trisation a haute frequence." One merit it certainly hasâ€" that of sim- plicity. A USEFUL PAPER BOA.T. iA new use has been found for paper. A short time ago wc heard that wear- ing apiiarel, bed clothes, and even um- brellas, which were rendered rainproof by means of bichromate of potash, wer« being made of paper, and now we learn that boats are being made of the same material. , i This will not surprise those who know the strength and durability ol paper when properly treated. Pap- ier mache, which is coniiiosed of sev- eral sheets of paper pressed together, is amazingly strong and durable. Its power of resistance, too, is very great. Waggon iwheels, chimneys, doors, even whole houses have Iwen made of It: nay, a daring architect once set about constructing a cathedral of papibr mache. Ibis being the only ujaterial to lie used in the entire building, fron} the foundation to the bell tower. As an instrument of warfare, paper baa also come into use. A German engineer recently constructed a light paper cannon for infantry, and this cannou was even charged with paper powder, which has lieen so much in vogue. HAS STOOD TILE TEST'S. The canoe which is attracting at- tention is the work of Jonarsel Gen- trae, a graduate of the Central School in Paris He has tried it several times along the .\tlantic coast, and is wholly satisfied with it. The framework of this novel little vessel ia of wood, over which are spread several layers of^aimn paper, cemented tt)gether by a s(i>ecial varnish. A' lead ke«d furnishes the required stability. There are five coniiimrtments In tba boat, of which the last two are filled with cork, the object being to render it inyiosslble for the vessel to sink. In a boat similar to the one iM. Tanneguy d« Wogan, a Frenchman, recently made several long triiw. II is said that the mast and sail of his boat were also madffl of jxiper. A' philoso- pher has come to a rather interesting conclusion in regard to these jiaper boats. "They are,'' he says, "the eldier brothers and sisters of the toy papers in which wo found .so much delight In ourchildhood and in which otfr child^^en now ffnd pleasure. They only prove to us that every age has itis pleasures and that the plpasures of one age differ very little from the pleasures ot an- other." HORSES' KEEN INSTINCT. The horse has a strong sense of smell. He will leave musiy hary untouched in his bin, no matter however huingry ; neither will ho drink objectionable wa- ter, however thirsty. His intelligent nostril will widen, quaver and query over the daintiest bits offered by the fairest hands. Blind horses, Tit-Bita says, will gallop wildly about a pas- ture without striking the surroundHig fence. The sense of smell informs them of its proximity. Others will, when Iposencd from the stable go to the gate or bars 0])ening to their accus- tomed feeding-grounds. The horse, in browsing, is guiilod in its choice by g roper food entirely by its nrtstrils. lind horses do not make mistakes in their diet. In the temple of Olympus a bronze horse was exhibited, at the sight of which real horses exiieriemod the most violent emotions, ft is said that in casting the statue a magician had thrown hippomanes upon it, whicS by the odor of the pl^nt, deceivoti the horses, and therein is the secret of th* mfracle.