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wm A Novel Wedding Jesn Barrie and Helen Arnold threw themselves do-vn on tht; gras-i. umier an old apple tree, in the orrbard, to think ol some plan by wbicb to break the monotony of their country life. Jean's father was a farmer of mod- erate means. Her mother was dead. •Ince, her three sisters were married, Jean, who whb the youngest, remained home and acted as housekeeper for her father and two brothers. H-'len Arnold was .lean's bosom frijnd, who spent several weeks every summer at the Barrie farm. This morning the two girls sought the shade of the apple trees to keep them cool, while they searched their brains for .some new recreation. "There's no use waiting for aome- tbini; to turn ui> any longer," said Jean, "two weeks have gone since you oamc and not a thing has happened to remember your visit by. Now last year we had our maaqaeride, and dear old Fitlo died, and then we kept that old tramp one night, don't you remem- ber you Slid we might Ije entertaining an angel unawares." "Well, I would rather nothing would happen than have another old tramp come along, and we could not spare anything off of tb^ farm to die, not even your kitten, for if you are to Ue an old maid, of course you mu.st have 4 cat." said H'len. "Ob! I have it." exclaimed Jean, "we'll have a wedrllng: not a common- place affair, a real novelty, you know, on; that will make old Mia. Jones talk for a year, for we'll e^nd her the first invitation, and her Sury the second one." "A wediiing. " said Ilelen, "how can wef Who will be the bride, and where is the bridegroom. Now, look here, Jean ; you are always getting us tato some Hcrape. and ii this is just a trick, I'll " "Don't m.ike any objections now, nor ask too maa.v questions," interrupted Jeun. "You just follow my instruc- tions and we will have some fun. Now, fii-st of all, we must get out the invita- tions. We'll hive to write them our- selves, ,ind we must po.st them before the mail goes out this afternoon." So the girls returned to the housa and were soon hard at work writing out the invitatioua. After dinner, when th.' men nad gone back to the hay field, :ujd the dinner work had been done up Jean and Hel- en started for the postoffice. When Jean emptied twenty-five let- ters from her »hoi>ping bag out on thu counter, JIis. L)ej.u. the po.'it-misiress asked, "Coin' to give another party, Jeun t I thought you'd be givin' ona before your friend went home. " "I'm just going to entertain a few of my friends," answered Jean, who was not anxious to give any more in- formation than she could help "Why, ain't you goiu' to ask any boys to your party, Jtan ; " added Mrs. Deiin noticing the letters were all ad- dressed to ladies. But Jean evaded this question and â- aid "Goo<J-bye, Mrs. Dean. I m. glad wa . were in time for the m;il. for we want thos3 letters to go as soon as possi- ble." When the contents oi the CentreviHe nviil of that afternuuu bad reached its destination, there Mere puzzled heads in more than one boms. V\ ben Sura Jonis received her invitation she said, "Why. this is Jean Barries writing; it must bi an invitation to a party, but it's addressed toyoa andlbotb, moth- er!" "Why. bless me ! " e.Nclaimed Mrs. Jones. "What can the child want me to her party for, it must be a carpet- rag bee." "Ita on invitation to a wedding- Jeans going to be married." added the astonished Sara. "uoodni'Bs gracious, iSary! you must be mistaktn. Jean Barriu will never get married while her father needs her. Why. eh' wont even look at a uoy. See h(rw she turned up her nose even at our Jolmuy. and he a-goin' to be onu of the beat farmers around Cen- trevtlle, and get a hundred acres of land to start with; and I'm going to give 'im that Jersey calf if she lives, and two feather beds, aud a patcb-woik quilt." eicfcimed Mrs. Jones in one breatb. "But who's i'he a goiu' to be married to?" Mrs. Jones continued. "I didn't know as she'd done any courtin'. Let me see the invitation, .Sary. Now like- ly that s the reason that friend of her's is stayin' there so long. 1 saw them looking at some calico down at the store the other day, aud Jean !<ald she wanted it to line some quilts with. anii I wondered why she was makin' quilts this time of ye,tr nhen the fruit seasor i.s just here." By thifc time Mrs. Jones had adjusted spectacles and was scanning the dainl- \v ily written note. , "Now, that's strange," she said, "it d^n't say who she's to be married to. Sar^, that don't read like the invita- tion ^^ur pa's brother William sent to us'viien his Mary Jane was going to get marujed, and your pa's brother William's -invitation w:isn't done in writin'. "Pears to me if 1 was gettiu' up an invitation I wouldn't get it up like that, and I'd have it printed in town instead of wiitin' il. Well, Sury, we'll go. I feel kind of curies about it, anyway,'' "It's queer now they didn't ask James aud our Johnny," added Mrs. Jones after pausing a few minutes, "and our Johnny has always been »0 nianaerly towards Jean. Well, we'll go. Snry. I'm glad she (old us in the invitation she'd take no presents." While Mis. J ones was thur aouuneut- iag on her inritation to Jean'a wed- dint?, Miss Be.atrioe Gardener, a friend of H'-len's and Jean's in a neighboring vill.igr; v.;ls equally .suprised over the invitation she had received. "That's jtist like Jean ; she never does things like anyone else," said Beatrice. "But the idea of a wedding invitation without the name of the groom ! And there are to be no pres- ents. Jean always said she would not aceei>t presents if she bad a wedding â€" but she always said she was never go- ing to get married. Girts always say that until they get a good chance. 1 wonder why she did not invite broth- er Ned; she surely cannot expect me to go alone. But I've known Jean long enough I ought not to be sur- [>ris-"d at anything sne does, and III go if 1 have to go alone on my wheel." In another not very distant village Mrs. H.'vrry Randoli>h, the leader of society in her neighliorbo<j<l, sat read- ing her invitation when her husband came in. ' H irry here is the queerest wedding invitation t have ever seen: Jean Bar- rie is to be married, and the name of the groom is not given, and you are not invited." "It's stran;?e she has asked one of us ind not the other," sai/l Harry. "She mu.'it have know-n you could not go alone. I thought she was the uirl who wns never going to get married." "Oh," said Mrs. Handolph, "girls are always changing their mind.s, t-ut III go, for tberes a mystery aLout this invitation that interests ue, and I can drive myself, anyivay. " While these invLUUiona were tbus stirring up the curiosity in the several homes until it v.aa bubbling and boil- ing impatient for the eventful day to arrive, Helen and Jean were hustling around at home getting everything in readinea.s. Jean, after persuading her father and brothers to vow secrecy. 'old them all about her pl^nH. and .soon bad them caned into her service. Her father looked after getting a turkey ready for her, and both the boys proni- is-d to be ne-ir where they could as.si.st thr; goikats from their carriages when they arrived, and look after thi" horses. When Wednesday arrived the girls were too busy to talk much, for "every- thing must be in reauiuess by two o'clock." they said. The men came from the hay-field for an early dinner, and by twelve o'clock had gone back leaving the girls alone. "I wish Jessie hid come this morn- iot^t, ' Said Jean. Jessie was one of Jean's married sn- tera. who was always ready to help when there was a prospect of fun "Well, here she is now." called a cheery voice at the door. "Oh Jiss, " cried the girls, "we're so glad you've come. We're in such a hurry to get the tables ready and get ourselves dressed, and Mrs. Jones might come .anytime now. s-he alwayS ma kef a point of being an hour and fifty minutes ahead of time " Sothe girls talked and worked and were just putting on the finishing touches when Jean looking down the ro!id, saw Mrs. Jones and "her Sary" coming. "H.re comes Mjs. Jones, with ber while aprun on. and with a market bas- ket on her arm, ' she said. Then the three girls fled to Jean's room, where their costumes were all reidj for them; and while they were dressing the rem-iinder of the guests arrived. They came on bicycles, dog- carts in spring wagons and on foot. Tom and I'red waited at the frout gate t.) take care of the horses, and when the last one had arrived they diaappeared and returned to the hay- fiild to resume their work. When the guests were all seated in ^he par- lor. Mrs. Jones, who was sitting next to Mrs Harry Kandolph. after having sufficiently scanned her neighl-or. ventured to ask if she could tell her the. name of the groom, for she could not juat call it to mind ; but Mrs. Randolph had also very singularly for- gotten his name. "I think 1 saw- him this forenoon." added Mrs. .lones. " I'here was a tall citified looking young feller passed by our house this morning, and 1 says to Sary. "that's him." I could just tell by the looks of him. ind he wsis go- ing toward Barries. I don't think he would mike as good a farmer as my Johnny. Hf kind of looked to mw as if he might be a clerk in a store." "Indeed.' said Mrs. Randolph, who, not knowing Mr. Jones possessed a w'onderful power oi imagination sup- pos'^d this was a faithful description of Jean's choice, aud did not hesitate to infoimMis* Beatiire tJardener that sbo had just heard Jean was going to mar- ry a tall, slim young man, who was a" clerk in one of the large stores in town. Be.atrice in her turn told it to her neighlxir. and by the time it had come round lo Mrs. Jones again. Je. ill's young man had become a tall, slim, dark-complexioned young fellow, w^o was a partner in a largo dry- goods e,<»taMishment in a not-far-dis- ant city : 80 that until the appointed hour arrived the guests were waiting ahaos! breathlesslv for the entrance of the bridal-parly t>nly Mrs. Jones dared break the silen 'O "Now, its strange, ' she said, "there ain't no men-folks come. My Sorr woul-ln't think of having a wedding without no men-folks. I feel just as iC this ought to be a carpet-rag-l)ee or a quiltin'. Siy, did you bring a pres- ent, Mrs. Randolph?" queried Mrs. Jones. "No," answered ber neighbor, "you know presents are not to bo accepted. ' •Well 1 brought her a jar of pick- lis." added Mrs. Jones. "I was doiu' some down in a bra.^8 kettle one day â€" my mother used to own the kettle. She got it from I ncle Josier when Aunt Marthy died, and say. you ought to see what a purty green that ketilo made them pickles; and pickles will come in h.indy to Jean wb»n -lb*' crwaniences bousckeei>ing. Ot course if sbr- hadn't said she didn't want no pr«<»»nts we would bive brouijht so<ii* silverware. 1 kind o' thought I'd have brought a cruet set, but my Sary. *h* thought a silver cake basket is awful nic*." But while Mrs Jones is thu.s enter- taining ber neighlwrs. look in Jean's rrx>nn »nd l^ehold the bride, groom and clerijTitian ready fJ descend to the parlor. Jean is robed in a green and white plaid silk that her grandmother used Lo wear ; Helen, with ber long browm locks cone.ealed under a wig ma<la of ih^ep-akin. has on Mr. Barries long doubl«-hre:ist«d coat, and a pair jf Jenti'a bicycle bloomers, while Jes- sie, who is to act as clergymoo is clad in a long white gown. When all were rculy another of Jean's sisters seated ben*!l£ at the piano and just as she comuieneed pl.ay!ng a wedding march tbe bride, groom, and clergyman en- tered the r.'jom. marcheii slo'vly to one corner wh^re an areh of evergreens had been made, and there they took their stand. " Bless me," w,aa all Mrs. Jones said. Mrs. Randolph and several others laughed. Mrs. Jont^s' Sary looked sta- pified. Mrs. Dean looked like the vic- tim of a dupe. Then the clergyman proceeded with a s*rLO-comie ceremony of her ovrn com- position, and ifter pronouncing the oon- trncting parties hound together she turn«^d to the guests and asked them t'l po.stpone thi'ir goo<l wishes =ind con- gritulatums until some future day, and proceeded immediately to the din- ing-ri;om, and th»i three girls leading the way. the gueata all followed to where, the dainty repast was awaiting tbenx. Much merriment was indulged in during the meal, after whieh .Tean, Hel- en ond Jess slipie.l away to don their or'linary apjarcl. and. returning, set to work to ent«?rtfl.;n their gueets. The 3ft<'rn/Jon slipiied quickly sway for all but Mrs. Jones. The joke went hard with her. Early in th' afternoon she w»'nt in qu«-6t of h«»r >ir of pLckles and her Sory and iog»Ther they beat a hiisty retr<' it, Mrs J.Mies saylm; to her%'lf as she passf^d through the gate, " Well, I he an' ole fool anyway." â€"Inez Turner, Bealton. Ont, EARTH'S MILLIONS. i Inlarnal <'rB.>tij> to Ut raSura Tar Ike rir^i Time, The enormou't diffieu^cy of taking the census of the wor:d's inhabit ants, which it Ls proi-osed 'o publish at Bema in 1901, b«t:omes apparent when one cou- siiiers that at least two-lhirda and. per- haps, ibree-quarters of the inbubitants of our planet dwell in lands none ot which bus yet been civi'.ize<L ami many of whii-b still reuitiiu in a condiiiou of savagery. Vet the purptxte i.s as far as po.>8ible to include in the enumeration every human being ou whom the sun rises ou a particular <lay in the year IWO. Ex.p!orers and census takers are to be s«nt to every available poiui on the globe for the purpose. Su<'b is the scheme. It Koks impracticable. An aliempt has rec.-ntly l^een made to take a v(,<mpl«te centus of Hussia,. and Ibis wi.l aid the new un<le Making immiense- ly. Uuring liLs tour in l^utope Li Hung Chang became intere^ited in the propos- ed census of the world, aud -t is as- serted, {promised bi^ co uiieratioa aud assistance in the work. China forms the greatest (actor of uncertainty in eatimaiint; the pupula- tiin of the g'olie. Estimates ot the numt.'er i>f inhal'iiaut>r of China vary sometimes b> one or two hundred mil- U'-ns and even the population of the chief cities can only l.>e gues.se<l at. io. tco -Vfrica presents an enormous field if uiysteiies and difficulties, Estim- ates of its total population are con- stantly varying because explorers tre- qu m ly come uion knol.<i and centers of pi/i>u'atlon the real extent of w'hi:h is unknown. The most careful statistic- ians admit that their estimate's of the population of Afiioa may be a.s much as oULOUtOU out of it. West of India are the vast lands that .\lexander over- lan in hi< c nquest â€" Afghanistan. Per- sia and Turkey in Asia. How many scores of millions or even hundre<ls of millions mav they not contain ? Many i)t th" uplands of Persia are practical- ly unknown to the civilized worI<l. but they can sup|>oi;t a great population No one knows bow many people Ara- bia contains. No one knows how nivuy J^squtmaux there are dwelling in the lauds of eter- nal ice that encircle the north pole; many of the islaniLs of the vast Haci- fi- swarm with inhaMtants living on the i.pen l.ouiitj of nature, whose free and ca!eles.s life has cap'ivated the iiu- aginitii>n ot highly culiivated men like Rihert Louis S'even.son. and when the census is ci>mp!ete<l. if it proves prac- itabl.^ what will il proi)ably show the total population of the glolie to be? LOCOMOTIVE SEARCH-LIGHTS. The arc light is being tried in loco- motive headlights. This constitutes a true search-light. Ou one road in the West the current is derived from a dynamo which is iciuaied by a steam turi'ine. It is thought that the power- er !ight may lie utilized a-s a means of signalling from the engine to stations far in advance, A t.VCRKD CONCERT Mrs. Bi!Isi>n Suudivy evening â€" Can't you go into prayer meeting witb me to- night f Mr. Billsonâ€" Impossible, tny dear, 1 pnwaised Jim.son that I would go with him lo a ssicred concert. Well. I'll go there with you. Um â€" I believe ladies are not admit- ted, LUiHTNING RODS. .\ lifhtning siieeialLsi mainlnins that rods are no piotection. and that most precuutioos taken l>y people to keep out of the path of a pcsaible electrical disriiarsfe are usele.ss. 1 he recent wonderful d'so veries in rebition to (he nature of electrical force prove the worthle.ssness ol tba lightning rod, but offer nothing tawatd disarating tbs ihuuderL>olt. "IT IS IN EARTHOUilE." A SUNKEN CITY OVER WHOSE SPIRES WAR SHIPS FLOAT. War Twa I'mtarie* l>«rt KAfal B*i slum- brrrtl Brnr 111 thr RlitP <nrlt>:>eaa. Yet E*'«D >aw In f.'ulni Weather Mrr siilt- â- irrsni Bulltllas.'i Way Br txeem la IIm- <'r;»li>t Uepth. There is little of poetry In war. The gxntle mu8<T» wing their flight liefore tile deafening roar of cannon alK^^tbe rattle <f musketry. The newspapJSe*OLp» reap'ondents in Southern waters are too buuy with the stern realities which oonfroat them to pa; much heed to beauties which uh'ler other cir«um- stanoes might inspire them to dainty bits of ilescri(>tive writing. To illustrate my point we shall qiUJi>e from a deaputcb dated from Kingston. Jamaica, "tor two days.' writes this uorrespondent. " our des- pati-h ixAt baa been lying here in the leautiful harlwr of Kingston. Under the clear tiue water a few futh'^ms be- neath her keel sleetw the sunken city of Port Royal. Not a titone s throw frum our boat a red buoy swings and nxiks in the mionlight. It marks the spot wtiere the <)M citjr s cathedral sank and where the apure still reaches up nearly to th* surface," That wa-s all. ibat was the only re- ference to a sufjject hrb in historical lore and the poHsibilities of unwritten romance. How lutle is known of the mysterious city beneath the waves of Kingston harlAr, a city which at once suggests the bidden wonders of fabled Atlanti.i, wbi'-h Jutes Verue has de- scril*d with such a wealth of imagery in his " Twenty 1 housand Leag^aes I'n- der the Sea." But Atlantis was Frol>- ably a myth w hile Port Rxjyal is not The traveller wl» visits the capital of Jamaica should pray for clear weath- er, wi'hout wind When thi? water of the harbor ia ruffled by breezes the bidden city is ol.-!>cured from view. But on a cloadle?«s, aiili day. when the aur- fatre of the sea Ia perfectly smooth, the ruins oC THE PHANTOM CITY amy Ixs plainly seen in the depths of the transparent water. The spire of the old cathedral ia the nv>st prominent obji.-ct. In the clear water you can see the fishes, lazily s» iuuniug in and out among the ruin- ei turiets. more suggestive of owls and bats than of the finny inhabitants of the 3ea. Ctcaaioually glimpses can l« hurl of the ruiOK of other buildings â€" buillings whi.h for more than two centurieti have kept their ghastly sec- rets and will keey them until the end of ( ime. Down there, in that peaceful depth, lie the bones of three thousand men, W'.meu and chii<lr*ii. carried down in- to t he sea with th-^ir homes on that awful June day in ItiSi. An eanh- quake. suddenly and without warning, smote the profligate oily of Port Roy- al, which slid inij the sea. the waters op»'iied ind swallowed it up, and there beneath the silent waves was hidden the wickedness and debauchery of a community dcsi-ritwd by historians as being almost without parallel. The sunrivors said it was the ven- geance of God. and bkeued it to ihe de- struction of .Sodom and Gomorrah. And in very truth the hi^tniy of th.- city seems to show the unceasing wrath of divine power. From lii,- richest city of its time il has dwindled into insig- nificinee, until now it is a niont wretch- el place, lued only as a naval station- Di.saster after disaster h,i3 overtaken it. After the earthquake the- town was rebuilt, only to be compl-t-'lv destrov- el hy fire in 1703. On AuguU il. VJii. it was swept into tlie sea ly a hurri- cane. It was once more i-ecoustruct- ed, but again, in ISl.'j, it was reduced to ashes, and as recently as 18W) it was visited by anoth-r hurricane. Ev- ery di6ast;;r was attended by URR.\T LOSS OK LIKE. The city of Porl Royal wad originally built upon a narrow strip of land ex- tending out into the sea. which ac- ciuiiis for its strange di.sa|>pearance at the lime of the earthquake. Like the bouse of the fruitLsh man of Biblical 1- ire which was buildedupon thesun,l.it literally slid into the water when the earthquake >hix:k came. Previous to that fateful seventh day of June. ItiH^, Port Royal had Iweu known a.s " the finest town in the world." It was, aa it now is. a British colony, but there was little either in its gxjverninent or its customs of Bri- tish morality. We are told that it was a |)l.u?e of ItLXUrious debauchery; that in their e.xcesses the colonists rivalled the profligatew of ancient Rome. Buccaneering and [>iiiiey were recog- nize I industrie.s. The treasure shii>s of Spain were legitimate prey The riches of Mexico and Peru were levied ujjon and the people of Jam.iicn were liter- ally ndling in wealth .and splendor. Vice and debauchery held sway. Bac- chanalian re\ els wbii h might put to Roden's, whither I was invited, whose of n:ghtly occurrence. There ivas no virtue. .Vnl like the cnrk of do(.>ni came the earthquake. The thamier of t^ie eleai«nts sounded in the ear^ of tie heedless revellers. The piirth opened in great fiseur?s, and dosed again like the jaws of a mighty trap. .\nd in closinii it gripped m.iny of its victima in the middle, leaviug their bandit a'mve ground. Then came the awful sliding, grinding n.ji.se, a.s the city, built tirvm its foundation of sand, sunk inti th> caressing enibr-ice of the sea. which forever closed u^on ita wick- edne«is ami will forever keep its dread am-rets. The .-ilKK^k came close on to midday. The' »;r was hot and sultry. The sky was without a clou 1. X great stillness seeme<l t.4i hover over the city, and then, without warning, THK EARTH TREMBLED. Men and wnmen left their houses and ran into . the streets, only to meet death in the bowels of the earth or in the hidden recesaes of the sea. Iti his " Annuls of Jamaica." publish- ed in Itfifl. Rev. George Wilson Briilgea quot«i from a letter written by ona of the survivors â€" a rectorâ€" two or chrc»« days after the disaster, which is. in part, as follows: â€" " AXt«r I had been at church read- ing, which 1 did every day since I was rector of thiii place, to keep up some sbiw of religion, and was gone to a place hard by the i-h:irch wh.'re the merchants meet: and where the Pre- sident of the Council was, who cams into mj- comj«ny and engaged me to take a plass of wormfw<»el wine as a whet t)etjre dinner, he being my very g^:o'l ir-f'nd. I srayeil with him. upon which he lighted a pi|ie of tolacco, wrhich be was pretty long in taking, and not being willing to leave him before it was o-u, this detennined mo from going to dinner to one Captain Hflden's. wh fher I was invited, whose nr)U.se, ui-on tbe first conru.-^.si<n. sunk int) the earth and then into the sea, wiih his wffe an.! family, and s' ma that were <«me to dine with him- Had I teen there [ had been lost. But to refurn to the President and his pipe of tobai'co ; before that was out (found lb« gr-jund rolling and moving un.ler my feet. u|r>n whiih f said unto him. " U:rii, sir, what is that '' He reilled, being a very grave man. ' It is an earth<(uake. Be not afraid; it will "O^in te ovep.' *• ijesplte the President's assnram-e, be disap(;eared. and was never heard of again. Continuing, the rector wrote: " I made toward Morgans Fort, be- caiise r fb^Ui'ihi to lie th-re se<-ure»t frim filling hoiuefi. hut as I was go- ing I saw thf earth 0|)en and iwnllow up a multitude <>f r>-oide, and the <e« mounting in ui on tbem ov->r the for- tifieatiijns. Moreover, the barge and tanion.s 1 urying ground was ••esiroy- ed, and the sea washed away the cap- ca«ee. T\w harbor was covered with dead bodies, floating up and down." â- i THE PHONOGRAPHIC CLOCK. Evil* and BraeAl* af aa Ia«eallan Ja»t Pat aa t;<e Harhrl la <;rraiaa>. Some modern inventions are a '>oon to humanity and o'hers are not. The phonogriphic clock wh.cb ha.s just tieen Itiunched upon the m:irket in Germany belunjjM to the latter category One must a<lmit the alarm clock in Ihe theory of modern life, but a ph;iuoin~a- phic clock a<libi insult to injury. If one moat be wakened, one m.:si: but ; how can one turn over and ta'^e the final luxurious forty winks when tbs depressing prog nm] me of a busy day , has been shiut.'d Into one's earsf Things thit seem-d natural and prao- ticable the night before present in appalling front in the early morning: and the l^reikfujt huur. announced in strident tones, is much more insistent than when suggested by an impersonal metallic cling. Some valuable possibilitias the new invention does i>ossess. The h.jusewif« needn't laboriously explain breakfast details to the serv.inls at nigh', and find the next morning th.tt all im- port:ini poinia have been couscientious- ! ly forgotten. She sets the pbomgra,- phic alarm for an early hiur, talks di- reclious into it, and the next morning the cook is wakened by a seem vo.ce telling her ex:tciiy what is e.xpecied ' of her ia regard to breakfast prepara- tion. Paterfamilias, too, can work the com- binaiion. No more will he sit up un;il his pretty daughter's call, r goes home and resort lo time-honored hirits lo , hasten thu departure. Ue will not sl,am shutters and noisily loci doors and bid the other m"mt)ers of the family good night at t !>: top of his voice and drop his sb-es on the !>edro<ini floor with a force tbii shitke, the parlor chandeliers, and call down lo the daughter Ib.il she must l.>e care- ! ful alxiut turning off the gas and I locking the door. He will never l)« goaded by .i sense of parental itu'y into walking into the parl>r aud miking a si-ene and redufing the dnugher to a |!oint ot tear*. Oh, no; h- wi'l simp- ly set the phonographic alarm tio ihe hour when be thinks young men should end ttieir calls. Ih-u be will go se- renely to l)ed; aud when the fatal hour strike a s|H>cimen of the old gentle- men's finest irony will lie burleil at the offending guest. Uxil young man. The maiden writhfully weeps al me. ' A Cleveland girl bad a quarrel with the young man to whom she wis en- gaged N"W, when they pass each oih- vx in the -street, he stares at her with an expre.ssionleas, irbissy eye. .\nd no , wouiier; for wb-n he sent a lequest for ilie return oi hi,.-i eug.igement ring, she forwarded il lo Uiu,, with a card bearing these words: "Glass â€" with i care.' A telegnun fniin Vienna, received at the sul urban residence of Count rie â-  Waldeck, int-irm.'d hiiu that it was th-' ' inteuli.'iu of two l-urglars, prpten.iiiig to le insurance Hgents, to call on hiin. The i^dice recei.el Ihe visitors, and they were iiiipriwned. 1 hey were re il- ly insurance agents, reprejientinj a I New York voai!"iny ''he teiegrain w;vs â-  a trick ot a rival ?'on'.|:any. j A GENri.K HINT. « I Heâ€" \' our sweet fi*«:e is my t»"ilt of life. -I .SjWear it. 1 She â€" Hut your oiith i.s not valid ui>» I til you b.>.ve kusaed tu-.' liouk. 1 1 1? .^sur .-< /-