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HOLD EVERYTHING •| had to come back â€" couldn^ find a room anywherti'!^' "How's the real estate business in your town?" asked the visitor. "Fine," replied the agent. "All the landlords want new tenants and all the tenants want new landlords." "Your husband seems to be a man of rare gifts." "I'll «ay he is - he hasn't given me one since wc were married," A laddie from college named Breeze Weighed down by B A.'i and M.D.'s Collapsed from the strain Said the doctor: "It't plain You're killing yourself by degrees." When your son has complet- ed his studies, what will he be? "Oh, about seventy-eight years of age. I should think. "Isn't your friend Clark pretty •lowP" "1 should say not. It took him four hours to drive his new girl friend fifteen miles home from a dance last night." "What can I grovr in a gar- den thirty feet square?" asks â-  correspondent. Very, very tired. The teacher wat trying to make Llsie understand subtraction aoc a^e said: "You have ten fingers, •ow supposing there were tbre< tnifcsing wha i would you have then?" "Nc music lessons " said Elsif promptly. THE SPORTING THING "Where in heck have you been ? Yoti're three minutes late!" It Actually Happened Four Chinese girl-students, none id familiar with the English lan- guage, rented an apartment and I:ept house for themselves while attending a western university. They chose one girl to be the housemaid manager and left the buying of food, the paying of rent, and other financial matters in her bands. A chair was brokefi and a cabi- netmaker was called in. The girl- manager engaged nim to do the repair work believing that the cost would he $2 5U. However, when the chair was returned ihc cabinet- maker presented her with a bill for |3.60 She was very much surprised, Ind so was the cabinetmaker when ahe cried out in her confusion, "1 cannot understand it! You arc dearer to ine now than when wc were engaged!" Noted Man Mrs. Newriche (patronizingly): "Were any of your ancestors men of note, Mr. Nobody?" Nobody: "Yes. madame. I should â- â€¢y CO. One of them was the most famous admiral of his day and commanded the allied forces of the whole world." "Is it possiblel What was hit uune'c" "Noah, madame." Greenhorn It was Us fiisi experience as f â- hop assistant "Have you an account here, ma'am?" he nsked. nfter booking • cuftomer's urdei "No." was the reply, "but 1 would likf to see the manager " Th, pc.,.|,^tant walked across to whei< thi mai.ager stuiul "A lad> o) no account to sec you. sir. be Mid. MIDWESTERN STATE HORIZONTAL 1 Depicted state, â€" â€" 11 South African corn meal. 12 Its capital is . 14 Sedan. 15 Cloth measure 16 Arrive (abbr.) 17 Uncooked. 19 Wood sorrels, ai Particle of Are. 23 Flower. 24 Mangles. 26 East (Fr.). 27 Fortified prison. 28 Any. 29 Modified plant SI French article 32 Father. S3 Spanish (abbr.). 35 Let fall. 37 Street (abbh) 39 Abatement (colloq.). 41 Roof finial. A nsuer to Previous Puzzle 6^ Cf X N -.1 E R G R R A 1 N S P T A 5 A L b R E N LEG L OA f\ 1 N ^ T 6 D 1 S P, "]S T D a .. c T E T L m 5 R E A[H ' otrA on'' f/4 D E [J N f Ed R 1 AT R fli ME , |E M U E â-  CH A S M te S /^ T '^ P S A L M H A\ AR TE S E S â- i-. B o T T O M s TE A A t F 1 L M 5 T E A R F ft 1 E- S JZ R N S 42 Small particle 43 Snares. 46 Kind of cheese 47 Light brown. 48 Exist. .49 Has dined. 51 Anger. 52 Chemical substance related to cellulose. 84 Adjust. 56 It is called the" (pl). 10 VERTICAL 1 Seraglio. 2 Over all (abbr.). Indian. Sesame Aided. Separated. Church (Scot.). Over (poet.). Transpose (abbr.). Pointed shaft. 1 1 Philippine rice. 13 Artist's frame 14 State of profound insensibility. 18 Have been. 20 Dust (Scot.). 22 Like, 23 Universal • language. 25 Steep descent 30 Bustle. 33 Lath. 34 Flower part. 36 Mother or father. 37Tltin. 38 Duration. 40 Invigorating. 41 Roman magistrate. 43 Carlban Indian. 44 Go by. 45 Let it stand. 48 Every. 50 Greek letter. 53 Depart. 55 Size of shot. VOICE OF THE = PRESS = WITH MUSIC ADDED Hank Grecnbcrg, a $55,000 out- fielder last season, is said to want $65,000 to play first base this year. That's almost as much as President Truman gets â€" with piano solos thrown in. Windsor Star THE STING STAYS The subsidy on the import of bees has been removed. The sting remains, as the ceiling price will be raised - Woodstock Sentinel- Review GUNS NOT NEEDED ANNUAL IMPULSE It's just about this time of year. When income tasing forms ap- pear That people scratch their harried beans And wish they'd lived within their means. â€" St. Thomas Times-Journal. INSULT TO INJURY And here these Russian spies have not only been granted the most complete diplomatic immun- ity, but have been eating Canadian butter! â€" Hamilton Spectator. "it is an anci'enl adag? now,' says •â-  contemporary, "that the didn't-kriow-it-was-loadcd gun is much to be feared." The tragedy in such cases is increased by the fact that about nine times out of 10 there is no real need for anybody involved to even have a gun. â€" Brantford E.xpositor THERE'S A SURPRISE awaiting you if you haven't yet tried delicious Maxwell House Coffee. It's "Radi- ant>Roasted" to develop all the extra flavor in the superb Maxwell House blend. THAT DUTTON "GHOST" Farmers' Advocate argues that the Dutton "ghost" must be a real ghost, "because it can climb through a barbed-wire fence with- out difficulty." We're a little sckep- tical on thai point, as how could a ghost get tlirough a barbed-wire fe ce without getting, its shroud caught? â€" Ottawa Citizen *, â- * -« Instanline BRINGS ^^ mSTR£lliF/. •* ONIV ••^r DRUGSTORES ITORES > T for common ordinary sore throat ^ust flOB O^L^ggff^ Peace CTering George and his wife had u few words and of course didn't speak for some time afterwards. So George, in order to make peace, thought he would buy his wife a present. He bought a pair of silk stockings and took them home and gave them to her. "Thank you, George. This is kind of you." A few minutes later on looking them over, she said: "Oh, there's a ladder in tliem." "Well, my dear," said George, "you didn't expect to find a marble staircase, did you?" A Request Consisting of a violinist and a pianist, the little cafe orchestra made up in zeal what tliey lacked in skill. One very wet morning they were playing most enthusiastically al- though there was only one custom- er in the place. At the close of one selection he got up and came to their little platform. "Do you play anything by re- quest?" he asked the violinist. "Certainly sir." "Then 1 wonder if you'd mind playing a game of dominoes till I've finished my lunch?" Smart Mule An inquisitive tourist stopped by a farmer who was ploughing with his mule. Tourist (tc farmer whose mule stopped every few steps): "What is the matter â€" your mule sick?" Farmer; "No, he is the healthiest mule around here." Tourist: "Then is your mule balky?" Farmer: "No, he is the most will- ing mule I've got." Tourist: "Well, what is the mat- ter with him?" Farmer: "He's so scared he might not hear me say 'Whoa' he steps every once in ? while to listen." â- Â¥ -A •f 4 7 /ought off a pock of hungry shoppers to tog this package of crisp, crunchy, delicious Grape-Nuts Flakes! "Bravo, Sir Archibald! And I'd be Beve you if you said you fought through a jungle full of lions for that malty-rlch, sweet-as-a-nut flavor of Post's Grape-Nuts Flakes!" "And of course. Gentlemen, we must remember-that Grape-Nuts Flakes are not only marvellously delicious â€" they supply carbohydrates for energy; pro- teins for muscle; phosphorus for teeth and bones; iron for the blood; and other food essentials." "Those two golden grains wheat and malted barley are combined In Grape-Nuts Flakes. They're specially blended, baked and toasted for aavor, crispness, easy digestion." "Let us repair to the breakfast room and shoot a giant economy package." MUTT AND JEFF "^"^ whole alphabet only has 26 letters BUD FISHER SOTHENKWrteRE'S, I WENT llrt-C.?. out TO H.C. rtOULYWOOD, CAUFORNIA!- SOTHENS.T AND ME CALLED ON C&AND WHOS&T. AN0C6? SrtlRLEV TEMPLE AND CLARt< GABLE.' ---SOTHENCCrl-jg THETO.U. ''^"''^ WENT OVER TO Ixau? TrtETHREEOFUS.' WELL, THE TO.U. W6KT0VERT0THE Ufi.aTODOK.PWe MET CB.D. (WATTING WrmF.nROHTriE WLR ABOUT TrtECLC SOONTHEOT. IBROKE IN ABOUT THE O.RA. WHEN Ay M.R TOLD ME xTO B.I. I O.S.C. VORTrtE Love OFl / ALPHABET? r MIKEJ VMATREV I DON'T KNOW\ lYOUTALWN' ABOUT? -prtE AUPrtABET.^ ERS RECITE/ THE < ALPHABET.' 1 y) .:^' 4 rtEV.JoE.' 23' :$KIOOO #«it-. â- A 1 REG'LAR FELLER3 â€" Not All There By GENE BYRNES -4 â- -f •n POP â€" Pop Knoitrg All the Answers By J. MILLAR WATT ONLY A MAN SELUMe ASPIDISXRAS,SIR -BUT HE SOON WENT AWAy W+^EN I TOLD, HIM V04J, WERENT I MUSICAL !