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-«•;» JUST IN FUN Chivalry in the Park Some men, too few pcrliapt, are •tTcr caught lacking in courtesy. One professor type we know of cringed inwardly as he observed a woman descend heavily upon his B«w hat which he had placed beside blm on the park bencli. Realizing kcr mistake, she apologized pro- fntely. Then the man of gentle breeding quickly replied' "Think aothing of it, madam. Before, my kat was simply feltâ€" now it'a aat-in!" His Contribution While visiting in Dublin, satirist Jonathan Swift was asked for a subscription by a charitable organi- sation that was planning to build an orphanage. He promised five pounds. The following day, it was an- nounced in the newspapers that he had promised 50 pounds. Furious, Swift voiced his protest to the members of the committee. They offered to print a correction in the next edition of the papers, but the author refused to he subjected to •uch embarrassment. Til give you the 50 pounds," he â- aid, "on the condition that you permit me to choose the inscription over the main entrance." This was agreed upon. The in- scription chosen by Swift was de- acripfive and appropriate. It read: "I was a stranger and ye took me What More? Temporarily discouraged with the apartment in which she lived, the mother complained to her four- year-old son: "I do wish we could find another place to live." "I don't, Mommic," was his quick response, "I Tove tliis apart- ment." Earnestly seeking a fresh view- point, she asked: "Tell nic, dear, what do you like especially, about our apartment.'" "Mommic," he explained, "the rooms are just the shape I like and they are just where 1 want them." Whoops! The yoiniR candidate for admis- sion to the Navy was being given a test to determine his general knowledge. One of the questions put to him was ''What kind of an- mals cat urass?" The young man fidgeted and looked uneasy, but apparently could think of no an- swer. "Come, come," said the .^dmiral who was examining him, "surely you can answer a simple question like that! What kind of animals cat grass''' 'J'he boy bri^litcned up. "Ani- mals!" he e.xolaimed. "I thought you said admirals." The Heckler The Scot is frequently the goat when jokes are on tap, but not always. Listen to this: In an Iliinlisli political oration: "1 was born an IZuKlishman, 1 have lived an Knulislinian, I hope I shall die an [Englishman " From the back of the liall in an unmistakable accent, came the question, "Mon, hae ye no anibce- lion ?" Brevity "Get my broker, .Miss Jones." "Yes, sir â€" stock or pawn?" Western Sheepmen Short of Shepherds If you are tired of your present method of making a living and looking for work in a field not too crowded with competition, take up shepherding, suggests the Windsor Star. Word from Saskatchewan is that iheepmen have an acute labor problem â€" a shortage of shepherds. They are fin<ling that young men take no interest and the old-timers arc atartmg tu die off. For those who think their pres- ent occupation offers too many trials and ti ibulations, shepherding should be 'most attractive. For it b very routine. In June you load up your ramp wagon, leave the ranch and set up camp on the range. Your only link with civili- lation is the weekly supply wagon. In winter, you move to a per- manent camp nearer the ranch, but you are out with the flock in all weather. Von f.icc the rhance of being frozen to death, and frozen hands and faces are com- mon occupational hazards. The shepliiMd'* responsibility is to see his diaries don't poach on someone < Ki's |iro|>criy, to watch lor signs of disease among the flock and sec none stray. And if you take up siuh a pro- ; fession you will soon learn that, instead of being the ones you must watch with distrust, the black sheep pf your flock arc the most valued mrmhirs, lilack sheep are scat- tered throuM'iout the flock for count ng pttr|io!>f5, and the shep- henls rnuiit only the blacks. If any urv found mi-ising they assume (illirt<i la\«> n'-ri «trayrd, and begin a scaich. i DEMOCRACY COMES TO ITALY'S ARMY Something new has been added: In Fascist days Italian soldiers had to dance with each other; girls ' " : there doesn't seem to be enough weren't allowed in troop halls. Rome. â€" There was one good re- sult of the war in Italy. GI Gius- eppe now can sit down at a table to eat his meals. Three times a day the improve- men in Italy's small but effective post-war army is thus brought home to the men in the ranks. Before the war, an ordinary soldier in the Italian Army simply picked up a mess kit of food from the camp kitchen, found a shady spot around the camp, sat down and had his meal there. Xow he ii Now they can bring their senoritas, but to go a round. not only provided with a mess hall and mess tables, but there is a read- ing room in his barracks, something never before permitted except in officers- quarters. Enlisted men now have their own shows, dances, bars and refreshment rooms.' Democratization of Italy's army began with the first landing of Allied troops in September, 1943. A special Anglo-American unit, known as the Military Mission to the Italian Army, was formed. This unit was to co-ordinate the rem- nants of Mussolini's army with the Allied forces and to see whether the Italian troops could be taught to work and operate along the same lines as the .Allied fighting forces in Italy. Inside of a year the MM I A had three divisions of Italian troops trained and fighting with the Allies against the Germans The troops used American and British equip- ment. VOICE OF THE PRESS Not A Buyers' Strike Many people know they are no longer getting decent value for their money. So, they are simply not purchasing. It is not a buyers' strike or anything of the sort. It is just the commonsense of the buy- ing public is telling people they might as well wait until the balloon comes down. â€"The Windsor Star. Very Dear,â€" Dear A visiting stage star from New York is reported to have said in an interview, "Canada is very dear to me." We would like to assure the lady that, to Canadians, the place is getting dearer all the time. â€" Toronto Saturday Night. Russia's Needs What Russia needs is a warm winter port and a diplomat or two who undergo occasional thaws. â€" Brandon Sun. Odds on Britain Britain, it is occasionally pointed out, may astonish the world by her recovery. Her failure to recovei would astonish us more. â€" Sault Ste. Marie Star In One Day At Liverpool in one day 23,000 gift parcels of food for British families were received from indi- viduals in the United States. This is the sort of friendly gesture that is remembered long after the words of statesmen are forgotten. â€"Ottawa Journal. Grim But Logical * Sir Alexander Clutterbuck, the United Kingdom's High Commis- sioner to Canada, says that unless nations can achieve closer co-opera-, tion there will be another upheav- al. The deduction is grim but log- ical. It is up to the nations to act accordingly. â€" Brantford Expositor. Isn't It Awful? The melancholy days arc here. Most frenzied days of all the year, When men go home to find the rooms All torn up in housecleaeing booms. â€" St. Thomas Times-Journal. Hay or What? Canada's farmers paid $7,113,926 into the Dominion Teasury in in- come tax during 1945-46. If that's not hay, it's the next thing to it. â€"Hamilton Spectator. for faster PAIN RELIEF Neuritis Neuralgia Instanline « * 4 ♦ â- 4 t T A, f^TABins^r/* t •• ONLY ••"^ DDUOSTORES 5 â- ^4 T ^ Good Paint Protects and Beautifies For those homeowners in this district who arc contemplating the beautification of their home s, whether interior or exterior, we have a message of vital importance. It has to do with the paint you are going to use. There is a great deal of truth in the statement "sood paint is free." .As a matter of fact, its preservative effect on the wood- work is so great that there is a bonus for using it. So many honicmakcrs have learn- ed the importance of using quality paint that a mention of the import- ance of buying good paint is of vital interest to those who arc going to paint or hav-; painting done this season. Professional painters and home owners of our acquaintance have told us that (jnality paint pro- ducts cover a greater surface and hold their true color for a longer time. The reputation enjoyed by The Martin-Scnour Co. Limited has been built on the quality of their products tested by discriminating users over a period of many years. Our readers can rest assured that when they use a product of the quality of Martin-Scnour paints they are taking no chances on sur- face coverage and lasting finisli. Only the skill that comes from years of c.Nporieiice in the paint manufacturing husiiicss could give to The Martin-Senour Co. Lipiited the reputation that they now enjoy. Your local Martin-Scnour dealer or painter and decorator can give you valuable advice regarding de- corative materials and colour schemes with the aid supplied by Martin-Senour. Your insistence on the use of these products for your painting and decorating will be your assurance of a satisfactory job this Spring. Fish Story Prince Naruhiko Higaslii-kuni, former commander of the Japanese Army in China, commander of Jap- anese homeland defenses during the war and premier of all Japan fol- lowing the surrender, has obtained a license to run a fish market in downtown Tokyo. Boys Bands at C.N.E. Must Have New Deal There will have to be a new deal in the boys' band competitions at the Canadian National Exhibition thi.s year. So many boys enlisted that new classes to meet new con- ditions will have to he organized. For example seventy hoys from the Ottawa Boys Band joined the col- ors, sixty went from Brantford and proportionately large groups from smaller bands. Many of the bands have recruited so many boy musicians it has been found necessary to provide new classes. The London Police Roys Band now numbers eighty while sixty youthful musicians arc wear- ing the uniform of the Leamington, Ontario band. London police started a boys band as part of the cam- paign to combat juvenile delin- quency. Now tile move has spread to Chatham, Ilespeler, Dundas and Guelph where the guardians of the law have sponsored bands. The Police Chiefs Association of Can- ada has formally approved the plan. Service clubs also are encouraging the young bandsmen. The Opti mist Club of Chatham has donated one thousand didlars to the band in the Maple City and at London the London Hotel Association has contributed various amounts to a total of four thousand dollars, JceMAmTH/N:. / Even thoiigli the "Danger" signs of Inflation can be taken down now, they have to be replaced \i\\\x signs reading, "Proceed With Caution." The ice is slill too thin for any Canadian to tell himself, "Now, at last, I can go ahead and buy everything I want." We can't â€" yet. But we can proceed to enjoy â€" in moderation â€" many of the goods and services which â- \vere so long in short supply. These good things are ours at moderate prices now because we were moderate in our demands before. Today, Canadians can indeed be proud of one of this covintry's finest possessions, which is, as The House of Seagram has long contended, this nation's policy of moderation in all things â€" in its • thinking, in its buying and in its personal habits. A^^en w4o ^i/t^ '0^ S^fMOffcay ^^ifoclice ^yAliidef^m Skdof* THE HOUSE OF mGRillH M-14S » â- A > POP â€" Novel Beginning By J. MILLAR WATT THE OPENIHCi SCEKig OP ttf{ NEW NOVEl- l» IN A'SALV/\Ge OUMP ! â- Â¥^-13. £SSZ-l\ • rt'«<''C bi yx% Dell Vyat'.o'i', Im.) THAT S WHEfee /VVOST OF THET' ENpr ! o