JUST IN FUN Business With Pleasure Have you licarU the one about the Scottish doctor wlio took up golf and viho was told by the club pro that if his name was stamped on his golf balls and he lost them, they would be returned to him if found ? "Good," said the Scottish medico, "put my name on this ball." The pro did so. â- "Would you also put M.D. after my name?" the doctor asked. The pro complied with the request. "One tliicij; more," said the Scot. "Do je think ye couhl squeeze 'Hours 10 to 3' on the ball as well?" A Tiring Experience The rccc|)tionist of the Domestic Agency was taking down particu- lars of the would-be maid. "Have you any preference for any special kind of family?" she asked. "Any kind except the high-brow," answered the domestic. "My last place was witli a pair of 'em, and 'im and 'cr was always fightin', an' it kept nic runnin' back and for- ward from the key-'olc to the dic- tionary till 1 felt proper worn out, to I says never again." Her Meaning The teacher was giving the class • lesson on gardening. "Now who can tell nic what a herbaceous border means?" she asked. There was a pause, then a small voice said: "Please, miss, it's a lodger who doesn't eat meat." Quick Change Little girl (at church wedding): "Did the lady change her mind. Mommy?" Mother: "Why, no. Why do you •sk?" Little girl: "''Cause she went up the aisle with one man and came back with another." STUFF AND THINGS "You're sure he's got a sense of humor?" Naturally A motorist had been haled into court and when his name was call- ed the judge asked what the charges were against the prisoner. "Suspicions actions?" queried the answered tlie arresting officer. "Suspiciousi actions?" queried the judge. "What was he doing tliat gremed suspicious?" "Well," replied the officer, "he was running within the speed limit, sounding his horn i>roperly, keeping on the right side of the street, and rot trying to heat any of the stop Ughts â€" so, Miiturallv, 1 arrested him." And About Tims! Four-year-old Donald was en- tranced by tile icicles sparkling on the eaves. Tlic first warm day when he saw the icicles dripping, he ran to his mother e.Nclaiming: Wmter is defrosting!"' "EUZABETH OF THE AIR" Not ihe inside of a tunnel or a Quonset hut, but the interior of the world's largest landplane is what you see above. Britain's build- ing it to go after the trans-Atlantic airlane luxury trade. Bristol, Eng. â€" Britain is about to do for the airplanes what she did for the scalane? with the Queen Elizabeth. She is readying for trans-Atlantic air service the world's largest passenger land plane, the 1-6-ton "Barbazon 1." Powered by eight giant engines, the Barbazon will wing its way from 'London to New York with a pay load of TO to 100 sleeping passengers on the night run or 120 sitting up on daylight trips. It will have a crew of 1.1, including five stewards. * * * The Barbazon is being assem- bled now at the Bristol Aeroplane plant in suburban Filton. Devel- opment and production cost $16,- 000,000. The builders hope to have the plane ready for test flights by May or June. After that they will go to work on three more Barba- zons whicli British Overseas Air- ways hopes to have in service by 19.50. Some idea of the new sky giant's size can be gained by' comparison with the XB-3r,, the U.S. Army's giant bomber. Both have a wing- span of 230 feet. The XB-3G has only six engines. The Barbazon I tops all other .American land planes. The .Xrniy's giant C-TI Globeniaster has a wingspan of 173 feet. The Douglas DC-6 pas- senger plane now in service is only llTJ-j feet between wingtips. Neither a race horse nor a slow poke, the Barbazon is designed to cruise at 2.-)0 miles an hour at 25,- 000 feet. The 143-foot cabin will be pressurized, humidified and air- conditioned, and will have, as ac- cessories, a dining saloon, lounge, bar, dressing rooms and a movie screen. To build what England is call- ing her "Elizabeth of the Air" took 12,000 drawings, 30,000 feet of sheet metal to cover fuselage and wings, a milhon and a half rivets, 35 miles of wiring. * * * It has outgrown the biggest aviation workshop in England,' in which the wingspan is limited to the inboard engnes. Fnal assembly will take place in the world's big- gest assembly hangar. This hasn't hrcen built yet, but it will be larger than London's Houses of Parlia- ment and will cost $6,000,000. To get a runway big enough for the plane, Filton .^irfie!d has been extended to 82j0 feet. Engineers had to demolish a village to get that much space for the liarbazon's take-off run. A cocoon of scaffolding surrounds England's big new passenger plane in its construction ehed. To get room for its wings to grow to full size, they're building world's biggest assembly hangar. THE STRANGEST IHflNC Th£ 3CAFLET FLMINGO AS SEEN STALKIh'G ABOUT IN FLORIDA IS THE ONLY ONE Of ITS FAMILY FOUND IN AMERICA. ITS m LOOKING BILL IS AS NATURE PROVIDED FOR II A CONTRIVANCE FOR STRAINING rrs FOOD. THE LOm PART BEING FITTED MTHWLES. FOR A NEST IT USES A TAU. MOUND OF MUD tWICH IT SCRAPES UP, WITH A DEPRESSION IN THE TCf IN WHICH TO LAY ONE OR TW EGdS Trumpeter Sv/an Protected in U.S. The trunipetrr swan, a liuge white bird witli a uiii.t;span of eight feet and often confused with the snow goose, was thoii,(?ht to he ex- tinct 40 years :i,t;o. Ihit in 1')0T, when a small flock was discovered in the lied Kock Lakes and Yel- lowstone Park regions, efforts were made to protect the species by the I'cdcral overnnient. .Xs a result, their nnmhcr incna-ed to 73 in 1933. Now there are 3fil. according to a count made jointly by tlic L'nited States J'ish and Wildlife and the. United States National Park Services. The birds were al- most exterminated for their breast skins and down in the late nine- teenth century. iTiS SAID THAT HLFALFA HOOTS HAVE MORE NITRATE PRODUCING PLANTS WAN THERE ARE MANUFfiCmiNG PLANTS IN A CITY THE SiZECf CHICAGO THE FREE NITROGEN IS DRAm FROM THE MR AND STORED IN THE PLANT ROOTS.CAUSED BY CERTAIN BACTEm FORMED IN NODULES ON T}£ ROOTS IT IS ESTIMATED THAT IT TAKES 1000 US OF GRAIN TO PRODUCE lOOLBS. OF BEEF IVHEN USED WITH HAY OR CORN FOOOER &UT THAT IF ALFALFA IS FED WITH THE GRAIN THE AMOUNT OFGRAIN MAYBS REDUCED ABOUT ONE-HAU^ IN PPODUONG SAME AhlOUNJ' OF REEF. More than 1.000.000 separate hand-made knots of wool may be foun<l ill some 9-by-12 Oriental rugs. Flaxseed Rushed To Great Britain There is a prospect of new paint for British homes and oil cake for homebred cattle in a cargo of 250,000 pounds of flax seed on board the Queen Elizabetli, which has just docked at Southampton, writes Melita Spraggs from f-on- doii, England. I'"rci;:ht trains were waiting dock- side to rush the seeil on the last lap of its 5,000-mile express jour- ney from Minneapolis. .Minn., to the flooded fcnlands pf Great Britain's East Coast. 500 Tons Allotted This is part of 500 tons spared from the meagre flax reserves of Canaila and the United States in response to liritain's last-minute appeals. .Seen was needed for late sowing in reclaimed areas to rccoi^ depleted linseed supplies. The February floods meant that 60,000 acres could not be planted with important crops at the normal time. Flax can be planted in .May and will ripen quickly. As the Queen Elizabeth rushed the seed across the Atlantic, trac- tors working day and night exposed the soggy soil of the Fen district to fitful rays of the spring sun to dry it for flax planting. Priority Cargo The Queen Elizabeth's cargo, which had priority over one of jewellery, furs, and other luxury goods, added to two consignments from Canada, is expected to yield nearly 50(1 tons of seedâ€" sufficient to plant from 20,000 to 30,000 acres. Two varieties of flax arc grown as farm crops in Britain. One gives a poor yield of linseed and a good quality flax. The other gives poor flax but a good linseed yield. It is this latter type which the govern- ment has bought. Britain has been and still is short of linseed with which to make paint and other preservatives. This is one reason for the shabbiness of houses and public buildings. It is hoped to get much-needed foodstuffs for diminished stocks of home-bred cattle from crushed seed. With the extraction of pure oil, it also is planned to make paint to give liritons brighter houses. Now, Wait- Don't be alarmedâ€" it's just a fight scene rehearsal for the film, "Daybreak," being made at Daventiy, England. Scantily elad actress Ann Todd watches serenely as Eric Portman makes ready to slug Maxwell Reed. Heatless Summer A new eovcrnmcnt order v/ent into effect in Britain banning the use of gas or electricity for heating residential quarters until Sept. 30 and the use of any kind of fuel to heat non-residential premises until Oct. 31. The order is designed to save 2,500,000 tons of coal against Britain's needs next winter. VOICE OF THE PRESS Nice For Teacher A glue strong enough to hold a 100,000-pound locomotive has been ii vented. We hope no one ever sits down on any. â€" Edmonton Journal Eckner's Gem The criticism of Hitler My Dr. Hugo Eckhcr, famous German designer, builder and flier of air- ships, is a gem of brevity. The elderly scientist remarked. "When Hitler came to power he was flO per cent fool and 10 per cent criniinal, but when he ended he was 90 per cent criminal and 10 per cent fool." â€" Kitchener Record Lusty "Big Three" Tlic big Ontario revenue produc- ers: Gasoline taxes, $$44,000,000; Corporation taxes, $08,500,000; liquor taxes $20,400,000. Three lusty youngsters! â€" .St. Thomas Times-Journal Hard to Answer '"It takes all kinds of weather to make a season," observes the Stratford Beacon-Herald. .Ml right; and now that we're having them all, wliat season would you call this? (In printable language, please!) â€"Ottawa Citizen Main Reason Our chief complaint about the younger generation is tliat we no longer belong to it. Quebec Chronicle-Telegraph A Born Quesn And an Empress During a visit to Paris in 1855, Queen Victoria went to the Opera in company with the Empress Eugenia of I'rance. .\ French spec- tator, who happened not to be an admirer of the latter, remarked to an l'"nglishnian seated beside him: "Did you notice the difference be- tween your Queen and our Empress when the ladies entered the box?" "Why, no," was the reply. 'What was it?" "Tlic Empress, as she sat down, looked around to see if there was i chair ready for her. Hut your Queenâ€" a horn «|ueen â€" sat down without looking. She knew a chair nuist be there. " Spellbound Other summer insects had better get chummy with a spelling bee. a newly-developed insecticide will wallop the little imps with HEXA- CHLORGCYCLOHEXAXE. Customers of a certain restaur- ant in Lansing, Mich., could easily be spellbound. The proprietor's name is PAPPAVLAHODIMI- TRAKOPOULOUS. â€" Pathfinder Quite A Record An Iowa woman has been in the news as "American Mother of '47." That beats the Quebec records, which rarely rise above 18 or 20. â€" Peterborough Examiner Morning Chores Britain exhibits a "robot valet" that turns on a heater, boils water, brews tea, wakes you up and starts the radio playing in the morning. We refuse to get excited until.it also puts the dog out and brings in the morning paper. â€"Windsor Star. Less Housing For More Money In the New York City area, as the Building Trades Employers' .Association reports, bricklayers get $17.50 and cement m'asons $14.70 for a seven-hour day; plumbers, as much as $15.75 and steam-fitters $10.10 for a scvn-hour day; plas- 'tercrs, $15, and electrical workers $13.50, both for a six-hour day. Even ordinary labor demands $12 for an eight-hour day, or $60 for a forty-hour week. The scarcity of housing has pro- vided an enormous backlog of work for all building labor, but high hourly rates and short days add incentive to the quest for labor- saving materials made for economy. Golden Doors Something of a sensation has been caused in Italy by the disclosure that the bronze doors of the world- ' famous Baptistery at Florence â€" hidden away during the war for safety â€" are really made of gold. They have been for centuries one oi Italy's great art treasures. U.K. Fashion Centre in the men's clothing trade. United Kingdom styles have tra- ditionally set the world's fasliion and do so still. United Kingdom design for women's wear has much improved in tlie last ten years and Sir Stafford Cripps' "Working Party" for the heavy clothing in- dustry recommends a design centre in London wliich could make Britain the leader iii all clothing design and fashion throughout the world. 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Limited POPâ€" The Sluggers BY J. MILLAR WATT ^^^ WE'«E r=5- &NOV/BAL.USI SIR. I I ' ' ^'' 'tA. NO? 2 ,^ BUT YOU -^/iLt B>e BEFORE â- *i* *^»^^*^»ti â- »».i».i# I.* W^>»-_«.»..^.. 4 -4. t. â- < i â- 4 r ^ â- < < A V 4 ,t > 1