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Georgetown Acton Wednesday B7 Things multiply in inverse proportio A newspaper article the day reminded me of toe of the inexorable laws of modern life Things multiply in inverse proportion to their use It is a simple fact and we ve all been through it that there are certain things in life that multiply like rabbits and others that invariably disappear forever No matter bow bard you try to get rid of pennies they just build up and if you carry your loose change in your pants pocket as I do after a week you listing heavily to the right You pile your IB pennies on the top of the and start again and a week utter you have pen nies in the same pocket Another multiplier is the single sock Start out a new year with 13 pairs of In three months you have six pairs and months you 11 have 12 single socks After years of suffering this I ve counterattacked I now buy 13 pairs of identical socks so that after six months at least 1 have six pairs of socks Ladies used to have the same problem before the invention of pantyhose But this discovery hasnt lessened their problems In the old days if they got a run they usually had a spare single to match the good one with But now If you get a bole In one leg of your parity hose you re scupp ered Out they go the intact one with the bum one Women also have other multipliers in the singles division earrings and gloves How many women in this fair land have seven or eight exquisite single earrings and four or five superb single gloves It quite fashionable these days for a man to wear a single earring and a chap who lost a glove would wear the other and put his bare hand in his pocket But women dont think that way and the gloves and earrings proliferate In their solitary glory Old keys multiply at a fantastic rate until cupboard drawers and plastic bowls are overflowing with them We have a by Bill Smiley 4 huge collection of car keys going back to our fifthlast car every key to the house before we changed the locks and enough skeleton keys to outfit James Bond on one of his capers New keys are We have lost two sets of keys to our present car and sometimes search for half an hour to find one of the new sets we had to order The new keys to the new locks disappeared and we bad to take off the locks and go to the key man for new ones 1 wonder where they are at this moment The new ones that is Paper is definitely in the multiplier list especially If you are a writer and or teacher As both I sit to write this column in a sort of tunnel between two massive piles of paper higher than my head When I sit down to mark papers I in another tunnel between essays and tests and bureaucratic bumph Makes me feel like on old badger Bottles particularly those on which there is no deposit return pile up about as fast as you can empty them But prepare to take back your beercase of empties and there are always two missing Where did they go Is there a guy or a dame hiding behind the furnance who sneaks up when you are beddy byes drinks of two of jour beers Ihen eats the bottles For he ladies the wrong shades of lip stick and halfempty bottles of nail polish multiply along with saucers for which the cups have disappeared Wire coats hangers reproduce like rats The other day while attempting to get my coat out of the closet I knocked down six empty hangers I carefully fished them up from among the parts of the vacuum cleaner took another empty bangers off the pole tied them all together with cord marched calmly into the basement and hurled them into the Two weeks later I knocked down eight hangers while getting my coat and sat down and wept tears of fury and frustration Pencils multiply but theres never one in the house when you are trying to take down a bagdistance phone message Odd buttons multiply until it seems like a button factory But when you need two the You have six thousand buttons not two alike You think you dont take many snap shots Been to the attic lately There are 12 boxes of them up there right from your own baby pictures through your courting days into your own children at every stage and about 500 of the grandchildren But just try to find that especially good one you wanted to send to Aunt Mabel Com pletely vanished Shoes multiply My wife has about 36 pairs most of them out of style just like that outfit she had to get the shoes to go with She has to tear by comfortable old shoes out of my hands to put them in the garbage new pairs and they sit there stiff and stark while I go on wearing the old shabby ones Stamps run out ceiling Bills and receipts multiply while bank accounts diminish Pornography flourishes as sex drive diminishes Tele vision channels multiply while their contents diminish quality Workman ship diminishes as cost of It soars And I Just touched the surface How about acid rain and fish Or safe salted highways and holes in your car Was It always like this or is it just a curse of the century Make up your own list two columns one headed Multi pliers the other Dimlmshers It will shake Gifted will be identified In a step to meet provincial legislation Board of Education Thursday evening voted to recognize the special education of gifted students as they would with the teaming disabled Under Provincial Bill every child has a right to an education regardless of level Despite objections from a delegation of parents of gifted children the board followed the lead of a special committee and made grade the first level of Identification Liz Wallace objected to this on behalf of the parents explaining that Irreparable damage results If a hearing or learning impaired child is not recognized by grade 4 and the same is true for the gifted Dr Edna McMillan of the committee noted it Is difficult to formally identify a child younger than grade four She noted In some cases a child has received a good education from his or her parents at home before entering the school system and is able to read and write In kindergarten Should this child be placed in class only to have the other children eventually catch up with his or her Intelligence level it would cause tremendous problems to have to remove him from the special class She noted It is easier to Identify a learning disabled child at an early age because of behavior and actual work Youngsters are not as to the mass testing and must undergo individual 1Q tests or rely on teacher observation for evaluation There are several alternatives In delivering programs to the gifted students acceleration would allow the student to cover two years In one or three grades in two years peer association through learning centres would bring gifted pupils from several schools together usually once a week but results in disruption in the regular class room patterns Full time cluster classes could be avail able where numbers warrant in designated schools and learning centres would provide This would allow the student to attend the centre for a specific period from one week to a month to pursue a specific unit of study trustee Dick Howitt pointed out the third option full time cluster classes are not available in the north George Heaver of the board administration noted he was correct and admitted the choices are misleading in that regard Burlingtons Bill wondered if there will be separate gifted classes for French Immersion students Heaver said that was a possibility but a remote one Noel Cooper also of Burlington charged that the board would be giving ion a blank cheque the way they hoped to set it up Heaver denied the charges saying Ihey only wanted to be flexible Vice Chairman Betty Fisher warned the trustees Bill 82 was the law and they had to start providing gifted education Whether we want to provide it or not that a cross we have to bear unless we want to go against the law Regional criteria and pro grams will be developed and implemented in Limehouse Sympathy to Noble family by Mrs Benton We extend sympathy to Mrs Jack Noble and family in the death of her husband on Friday evening after a long Illness We wish good progress for Sam Glsby who under went surgery in Georgetown Hospital a week ago ONEONLY Brand New 1982 Capri 3 Door Hatchback Capri 3 Dr Hatchback automatic radial tires rear defroster finished In silver metallic with charcoal cloth vinyl trim Stock No 3217 SAl PRICE 8342 MOTORS LIMITED MS MAIN ST E I AT WILSON I MILTON S HOLY CROSS PARISH announces a PARISH HEUIN6 MISSION entnled REsLWG OF HEARTS March 27 to 31 1983 corns of Pi CariSchmWtR4mptoraiM8MnvY and Mrs Bee and Thtnpau Schedule Banaeliori and Horniry on Ltttmo Cod Be God MovTumWmL Monday topic ConertM Lova Jesus Aba on Men Wad from JO to thera Adoratton of Sacrament MriHH with Maw Topic The Convenience Food store that h it when y need it ib wawiaiiaiajiiaaafjaaaiaajaaataaaaj We Carry A Good Supply Of EASTER CHOCOLATES TOUR LOTTERY TICKET CENTRE Fatal ACTON JUG CITY Men Notts OPEN DAYS A WEEK RETIRB DISCOUNT Or a Horn 10 Payment Plan INSURANCE insurance ltd Mi IMH or Corarnw DRY GLEANING 8770387 KILLS SHOPPING CENTRE NEIGHBOURHOOD SERVICE Service Specials Complete Car Care Check Up INCLUDES OnANDFTUER Offer expires April s CYCLE b MAIN ST ACTON THE PAY THEATRE IN YOUR HOME IS BUTARE YOU MISSING OUT FIRST CHOICE Playboy Supermini Movies for April PIUS NHL HOCKEY PLUS WORLD CUP TENNIS KIDS PACKAGE Hank Williams In Concert Raggedy Man Star Trek II Taps Absence of Malice Throe Women History of the World Parti YOUVE MISSED ENOUGH answer all your questions give you ell the details Pay can be yours too on your home theatre Halton Cable Jytenv MAIN STREET NORTH ACTON 1VI