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Panel TOE HERALD October me OVER A CENTURY OF EUCHRE PLAYING 123 years of Euchre playing is represented at this table Friday the Lions Club Euchre party Sealed from left to right arc Clare Wilson who has played Euchre for years Anne Norton who has played for years Viola lizard and Kaiser who have both played for Group sees no childraising training There is no training for the moat difficult job in the world raising your children a pa of three women and two men told about 16 mothers at the In Georgetown Wednesday We are supposed to be absolutely marvellous said panelist Theresa Howard mo ther of five and consultant to the Etobicoke Board of a lion But no Job on earth asks more than being a par Each panelist as well as having practical experience raising his or her own children was in favor of a particular approach to children ring Mrs Howard for instance recommended Rudolph Dnckus author of Children The Challenge among other books Dnekus says few par are fully equipped to let children grow to full potential Mrs Howard said Panelist and principal of Howard Wriggles worth Sch Eric said that by the lime a youngster is in kindergarten the most things In a child life have already happened Many educators and child rearing experts believe the first three years of a child life ore critical said adding that the child first nine months of life are not to be overlooked Although the average family has the resources to do the job sold courses in how to be a parent would help parents to not feel inadequate Parenting needs patience love stamina and some basic knowledge said On one child In ten gets a good start he told the audience said he was trying to convince the board of educa that parenting skills sho uld be taught in high schools The two most important jobs In the world need no training said parenting and politicians Often throughout the two hour meeting broke up the group as one or other of the panelists parodied the kind of frustrated behaviour par exhibit when children misbehave Panelist Audrey Shine mo ther of five and operator of lesson schools In Ha lion Hills and Brampton stressed to the audience the effectiveness of democratic family councils and of allowing children In dependence Never do anything for the child he can do himself Mrs Shine said The Monlesaon practice is to help the child do things by himself and very young children become dis if they must all the time ask If can do some thing Mrs Shine said Children are trying to be well behaved Mrs Shine said They will be better behaved as they have more self responsibility She said parents who have set up elaborate mica In the home should reexamine the rules About per cent of them could be thrown out Those that remain should be agreed upon by all family Choose it Charge it TILDEN ANDREW MURRAY MOTORS Panelist Marks father of three and family counsellor with the Addiction Research stressed the approach to children ring as opposed to the Freudian approach Whereas Freud approach is based on the parent as an authoritarian believed each member of the family should be treated as an equal and a child behaviour was goal oriented Mr Marks said Ask yourself whit could the child be getting out of this behavior Marks recom mended A pattern of behavior upon analysis could reveal the child goals he said Children misbehave with one or more of four goals In mind Mr Marks said A child who wants the parent s attention will misbehave to get the attention even if it is negative such as a licking said Marks Another goal Is power he id Most teens Isbehav lour is from a power struggle but avoid them Mr Marks added Two people always lose in a power struggle I A child who Is extremely discouraged and breaking has revenge as his goal Marks said This is more common now than when large families were the norm he added But give them a purpose or a meaning in the family if they feel they don belong and make the child feel helpful and wanted said Mr Marks The child who has with drawn has used withdrawal I the goal from a sense of personal inadequacy Mr Marks sold The child iouj may require no discipline but such a child may be very discouraged and may need institutional help Elaborating on the struggle in response to lions later from parents Mr Marks said the major clue to tell parents that a power sir uggle is underway is when the parents say to himself Child I will make you do this Avoid power struggling at all costs Mr Marks said by getting the child thinking why he has taken that lion I ike Mrs Shine and others on thi panel Marks was In favor of family councils once or a week where ground rules would be established be fore edicts wen laid down Panehit and mother of wo Barbara told parents she follows the Parent Ftfect Training PET book authored by Thomas Gor don Stressing the importance of the child of Mrs said the program is on three steps eye mess ages The first step is to I to the child so u hear lht child feelings behind the words Next if the child causes you problem them in such a way tint you don damage their selfeat Finally use a method of problem solving where the needs of ill in problem arc determined and many solutions as possible arc listed written down and modified until is sat Isfied with the solution In Ihe final a date in the future should the situation But panelists were net on the subject of corporal punlst Theresa Howard said ing a child should be used as a last resort in a dangerous situation School principal Eric Bal kind told the audience he was In agreement with Mrs Haw A spanking is better than getting knocked down by a motor car Balkind said but stressed that corporal punish should be used only rarely and with correct timing But panelist Marks did not agree with corporal punish ment If you use corporal I the child will find avenues to displ mis he sail Punish of children could 1 to or laic Id he If you on I mas fivourili figurine broken Marks it I In 1 be there The of the pa discussion Were Valeric and Anne Has of the program committee JOYCE BEATON You can tell her age Times have changed particularly in the gynecology department of the hospital You can tell why a woman is on the word by her ago alone and under are across the hall having the babies Yes the babies are still being bam In of all the abortion The arc In next bed to their older slaters At it has become time for the tubal ligations Ihe tying of the tubes for birth control reasons The 40year olds my are having hysterectomies Not for any one particular reason but for a variety of complaints unheard of in such ration a few years ago Thi and over are wandering up and down the halls looking very tired of the whole routine describing their complaints in generalized terms such as repair ttork Whatever ace the experience can be a gross in dignity Women arc poked and prodded examined and re examined have blood taken out and put In and In general feel like flesh and blood cadavers But women ore wonderful take It all with such as if were our natural lot in life Not so much that we suffer in silence but that wi vc learned this time waiting for us around the corner We re trying to get pregnant or trying not to get suffering from too many births or crying a lost My faith in women as professionals has been won during my hospitalization There nothing to compare with a nurse who knows what she about and who obviously administers lo her sisters with compassion and understanding Sill- also nothing so great as being able muntain humor when you felling lousy Mini tested while the intravenous was still in my arm and I us drifting dreamily in and out of the anaesthetic Two cleaning women entered my room in whispers the following conversation ensued There supposed to be woman In hire who a writer or What 1 don know I look at the tag at the end of her whow never heard of her To which the other replied as they left the room together She can be very important I never of either Tint did more than one thing k me from my drowsiness and get mi back on my feel First auxiliary meeting Auxiliary will be held Introducing the greatest aid to litter prevention since the refutable pop bottle The refutable pop bottle Remember when all pop bottles wore returnable and refillable Your Ontario Ministry of Environment wants bring those days back because there were a lot advantage to the Their re use aved energy and raw materials involved in botllo manufacture And more people ballli So they didn I become litter and garbage disposal problem that and cans are causing today On October a new law wen into effect It says that wilhm months relail vendors will bo required to slock and in ref liable bottles any size flavour and brand of soft drink they oiler in non boille In other words they have offer you a choice It also requires that retailers selling oft drink refillable bottles now accept and refund deposits of at least on sizes and 20c on large sizes And the amount- of these deposits must be shown separately from actual price of the pop Your Ministry of Environment thinks that a return reiillable battle- will save energy help alleviate garbage disposal problem- and reduce number Ontario of landfill sites It will be a lop toward a clean Ontario lib us Notice to Ontario Retailers to October lo dopes Is on rofillablo soil dunk con Icdnoro 10 on small and on largo You will also bo inquired la ralund In on all reasonably nomallylandl a covered naiotco played by soil retail vendors a by lloM Environment and are cur allied n local Barrio Carnbridgo Cornwall Don I era Ion Nor I Hay n Ottawa Sun a Marc Creek Thunder Day mm ns WollandaidWndMr or by t or pi 135 El Cta A Toronto IPS 416 DEPOSIT REFUND FOR REFILLABLE SOFT DRINK BOTTLES TOWER over value Yours for just 1 00 and worth of Loblaws or Ziggys cash register tapes dated from Oct 1 3 1 976 offer good until Nov 6 1 976 or while supplies last the passport contains Official CN Tower Souvenir book value 95 the world tallest book about the world s tallest ing structure copyright by Toronto Life 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