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THE HERALD OUTLOOK Saturday July 1 IMS- Page Book review Cosby book is not worth the money Its the busy season By ALLAN COULD It is not hard to understand why Bill Cosby is one of the most popular and successful per formershumorists on the face of the earth today His standup com edy routines are often quite in spired his timing is exquisite his TV show is wellcrafted and better than most But here we are with his third book of the past few years Love and Marriage pages and one has to wonder why the people who can get him free every week on television are willing to shell out so much money for so little value Fatherhood Bill Cosbys first book sold more than fourmillion copies in both hardcover and paperback the second Time Plies panned rather by this reviewer barely a year ago sold nearly twomillion copies in hard cover in spite of my warnings It is clear then that the question longer will Cosby have another bestseller Thats like asking if Elizabeth Zza Gabor will have another hus band and the answer is inevitably in the affirmative The question re mains why should anyone pay another 20plus bucks for another book that is even less skillfully done than the previous two Please Save your The idea has potential heaven knows perhaps even more potential than the first two Not every person is a father or even of the male persua sion and certainly not every per son is attracted to the idea of reading a book about Growing Older But what human being has not been in love if not mar ried So in that sense Cosby has chosen a worthy topic and a topic more than worthy of bis oftenkeen wit But be rarely if ever rises to the occasion For one thing this in sultingly slim widemargined big- print book begins with another ob noxious little essay by the authors close friend psychiatrist Alvin Poussaint who also consults on the Cosby TV show Mercifully his in tra is not endless as in Time Flies but its still irritating when one wishes some humor to get such platitudes as Unfortunately many smitten youngsters engage in early and irresponsible sexual activity thereby facing many risks foremost among them con tracting sexually transmitted diseases including life- threatening AIDS Thanks for that Dr P if you hadnt told me I never would have known FLASHES In the first half of the book en titled Love the sharp Cosby vision now and then comes to the surface Suddenly almost overnight he writes sounding just like he does on TV a grand transformation takes place in that student of car nage called a boy Its Good ing glands Suddenly you dont want to knock a girl down you want to bowl her over Suddenly you lose interest in scarring her knees and turn your attention to making an impact on her heart Sweet almostLeacockllke with some nice line construction too But oh so obvious Better is when the youthful Cosby tells a girl I like you very much Will you be my girlfriend And Goddess replies Doing a poor job of suppressing a laugh Id rather have some cavities fill ed Good stuff and very funny In the Marriage portion of this toobrfefforthemoney nonbook there are also some inevitably win ning lines When his new wife tries a vegetarian dish on him husband Cosby exclaims Would you please donate this to the Hare Krishna and bring me my real meal No what I have is a snack for the North Korean Army The meat must have slipped off somewhere Why dont we try to find it together Great Fun as well is a paragraph like this one In her endless effort to bring her husband out of the cave the American wife will tell him The problem with you is you are not in touch with your feelings She will tell him this right after be has tried to shotput bis son to dramatize some parental point for which mere language lacked clari ty She will tell him this right after he has kicked in the television set as a fitting response to an overtime field goal against his home team A man can spend an entire morning creatively running amuck and when he is finished and the foam on his lips has dried his wife will say The problem with you is you are not in touch with your feelings TOO RARE Thats very good but stuff like that comes far too rarely Which brings us back to our original ques tion about why another two-to- fivemillion North Americans will soon be opening their wallets to pay good money for another piece of written fluff from that charm ing delightful comedian and television star Too many trees are dying in order to make books like this one and as the earner of close to million US last year Bill Cosby as heck doesnt need the money I married Dave because he doesnt leave the toilet seat up says a female friend in this book It may be his best quality Thats quite a humorous line alright but you hear better ones every week on TV freeing you to give the to charity Youll feel better and Bill Cosby wont mind Allan Gould a humorist in his own right wishes bis books sold as well as but he swears that hes not that jealous His latest book of political satire is The Great Wiped Out North Publishing THE WORLD ALMANAC DATE BOOK June 30 1989 Today Is the iBlst El day of 1989 and the 10th day of summer TODAYS HISTORY On this day In the 26th amendment to the US Constitution extending full voting rights to IByearolds received the necessary ratification when It was ap proved by the Ohio legislature TODAYS BIRTHDAYS David Wayne 1916 Buddy Rich 1917 Lena Home Susan Hayward Chel Atkins 1924 Mike Tyson HYUNDAI OWNERS for TODAYS QUOTE Its not the voting thats democracy Its the counting Tom TODAYS MOON Between last quarter June 26 and new moon July TODAYS BARBS BY PHIL PASTORET And then theres the allow with big bucks who tried to get a canceled He thought ho was driving under the affluence Home security is a must Its summer officially and the peak holidaytravel season is here at last But while you are enjoying the pleasant anticipation of a vacation trip take some time to ensure that your home will be safe while you are away and that you dont take unnecessary health risks on your trip Dont advertise the fact that you are going to be absent for exam ple by speaking about your plans in places where you could easily be overheard such as a supermarket checkout line or a hair salon Another form of advertising to be avoided is the accumulation of flyers newspapers and so on that could pile up at your door while you are on vacation unless you arrange for a reliable neighbor to clear Phone the newspaper to have home delivery temporarily If you dont already have one make a list of the family posses sions that are most attractive to burglars such as jewelry cameras videotape recorder and sound equipment The list should set out the value of the various items and be placed in your safe- deposit box or other secure loca tion Put the highrisk valuables in some part of the house where a burglar would be unlikely to look an attic or instance Some police departments will lend tool with which you can place an identifying mark on your possessions That helps you to reclaim them in the event that they should be found after a burglary LOOK Your house should look and sound occupied while you are away so install two or more elec tric timers to switch lights and radio on and off at specific times Should the house be left in total darkness or if the lights remain switched on throughout the day and night its pretty obvious that its vacant Another useful form of deception is to have a car parked in your driveway the neighbors car will do if you are on a motoring holi day and to leave childrens playthings scattered around the outside of the house Be especially careful not to leave anything behind that would assist a burglar in breaking into your home such as a ladder leaning against the house If you usually keep a spare key in some hiding spot near the front door by all means remove it before going away Such precautions are justified by the frequency of residential burglaries in Canada which are more than 12 per cent more prevalent than in the US Here in 1987 according to Statistics Canada there was one breakin for every homes Police statistics suggest that as many as per cent OFF ANY PIZZA OVER 900 184 STREET 8734499 RITERION I ARPET RUG CO LTD ALL YEW LONG- SALES- SERVICE INSTALLATIONS CARPET VINYL TILE Georgetown Ont reWKBaBlggVy I of burglaries occur during daylight hours EXOTIC PLACES Another precaution is to check with your family doctor preferably about six weeks before departure especially if youre heading for a Third World destina tion Apart from special individual necessities basic requirements in a travellers medical kit would pro bably include diarrhea medication Lomotil and PeptoBismol are widely used and skin prepara tions both to repel insects and to prevent sunburn Its best of course not to have to use an antidiarrhea in the first plajce by being cautious about what you eat and drink If the puri ty of the local water is ques tionable then so are the ice cubes Use bottled water for drinking and brushing your teeth Holidayers who are lucky enough to be taking a cruise shoulo first seek a doctors advice as to motion sickness In fact seasickness seems to have more to do with ones individual characteristics than the rough seas and those who have sailed before probably know whether they are vulnerable Should seasickness strike you see the ships doctor who may prescribe phenergan an tihistamine and a few hours rest Alternatively stay out on deck breathing the bracing sea air and keeping your eye fixed on the dis tant horizon A less serious problem with cruises but frequent nevertheless is overindulging in tempting food Take aboard an antacid or other in digestion remedy many Euro peans use Bromenzyme made by Barths to aid digestion BUZZ OFF- Mosquitoes and other nasty in sects are one of the biggest pro blems faced by par ticularly at this season Its said that mosquitoes can transmit some 80 different diseases to humans and that four species of mosquito carry malaria For protection use an insect- repellent that contains at least 30 cent and for relief in case the protection fails bring along calamine lotion or some other antiitch preparation to treat bites and stings If you are going realiy far off the beaten track on a vacation adventure you may need to equip yourself with snakebite treat ment waterpurification tables poisonivy medication and the like Some lucky people tan The rest of us get sunburnt unless we use an effective broadspectrum sunscreen to filter out the ultraviolet rays Perhaps the best defence against skin problems whether from in sects or the sun is to expose as lit tle skin as possible If the risk is high wear a hat sunglasses some covering for the arms and legs and some lotion for nose lips and other areas that may have to be ex posed Use sleeping nets at night when insects are most active EXTRA INSURANCE One other precaution before leaving home Arrange for medical insurance True you are covered by the pro vincial hospital insurance plan But hospital charges in some foreign countries can be higher than the coverage provided by the provincial plan For a premium in the range of to a day you can buy extend ed- medical coverage However you should read the policy careful- ly before buying since there are significant differences between one company and another especially for insurance on those aged65oroIder Check as to whether the in surance company has a tollfree number at which the foreign hospital can confirm that you have the necessary coverage Otherwise the hospital may demand payment in advance leaving you to collect from the insurer later or worse it could turn you away On a cheerier note you may find that you already have this type of safety net Some employers health plans provide for extended coverage abroad and so do some types of savings accounts at finan cial institutions Lisa Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York harbor Lena Because it cant sit down Steve I saw a sign near a chopped down cherry tree in Wakefield Virginia What did it say Steve George Washington was spanked here Fred What did the apple tree say to the farmer Jed- Stop picking on me HOME PRODUCTS LTD Wo one ever regretted buying quality Custom Design Installation THERMAL REPLACEMENT WINDOWS STANLEY THERMAL ENTRANCE MORS PATH DOORS SOFHT FACIA AND EAVESTRDUGH SIDING PAIN DECKS AND FENCING CUSTOM DESIGNED BAY AND BOW WINDOWS ALUMWigM AWMNGS AND SHUTTERS ELEGANT VERTICAL AND HORIZONTAL SHADES EBB ESTIMATES AUworkguarantead NoonogauanioPuchM CWIO