The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

JuljO lll Book Review AVAILABLE COPY What draws us to the cottage TlmmHon News Service Half of the people of Canada il seems at this moment are at or on the way to or from the cottage Or the lake The camp The The beach The funny thing is thai Canada cities and towns art pretly nice the summer Whal impels us lo trade the considerable comforts of home for miseries of weekend traf fie and the difficulties of Ihc rustic life I his phenomenon is examined by Ottawa Citizen columnist Charles Gordon in his new book At The Cottage McClelland and Stewart pages 24 We first learn that only seems that half the population is hooked Gordon puts the figure at 1 cottagers on a typical Friday even ing in the summer Once the Cottage was wilderness the author riles Once it was solitude Now it is neither But it is still closer to wilderness closer to solitude than the city That why people are back again this year despite having to sweep up miscellaneous animal leavings despite having to take shutters off and risk further injury to backs The cottage is different THE WEAL Gordon carries Mark Twain dictum everybody talks about the weather to new lengths At the cottage everything depends upon the weather and the weather forecasts are eagerly read even by those cottagers who that news be allowed to take place during the summer Reactions to the weather are of two kinds to declare that it has never before been this wet or whatever or to proclaim that the weather was just like this back in the War of the Depression The women at the cottage are the optimists because sunny weather gets kids and their muddy foot prints out of the place The men are the weather pessimists because rain provides the perfect excuse lo postpone the painting of the and to inside drinking and eking The rain brings out all kinds of slinging insects that make your arm swell up lo times ils normal size Sunny weather makes people so eager for a tan that they gladly a bad case of sunburn Such problems have one thing in common They prevent people from helping out as much as they like Getting by with a minimum of exerli in is considered the ideal by many if not most cottagers How does one manage to move very little without actually sleep ing By reading a book of course Cottagers don read to enrich their intellects No the reading is fruit because a can be ac quired at the same time Gordon recommends setting out for the cottage equipped with at least one book that you can talk about on your return about a cor poration that has an problem for example so that you can deal with the guilt you might feel for reading lund pot boilers as well When reading begins to pall you can turn to the games that are to be found in every cottage including Monopoly if you can pry the kids away from it and Scrabble a favorite with those who find rum my games too noisy At the cottage some people even play solitaire a game that elsewhere has disappeared under the onset of singles bars computer dating services and the present day fear of being considered a loner MOMMIES DADDIES Twosomes however face special difficulties at the cottage where the walls are thin and don always go up to the ceiling And where double beds are narrow and usually have one leg shorter than the others Gordon writes that while groans and may be stifled in the in of decency and good taste there s no stopping the short leg from bumping with every move ment in the bed In the event of discovery the official story is Mommy and Dad dy are playing The difficulty with an of story is that it only works once The second time an alert child wants lo know what Mommy and Daddy are playing and who winning A sufficiently imaginative answer will intrigue the children and cause Ihem lo inform everyone at the cottage that a game was be ing played will cause them to demand every morning that the game be played again Eventually summer comes to an end and the cottage has to be clos for the season whether it is on Labor Day or Thanksgiving Until the following May the place has to be emptied of every last crumb of food The shutters have to be brought out and march with the appropriate windows even though they have become warped and bent a bit more since they were removed in the spring The cleanup takes too long Taking the pump apart is impossi ble Moving ail the outdoor fur inside is a pain in the neck Gordon concludes Every person has a to hate the cottage And every person has a to hate leaving it There is regret at the fun being over And there regret at the fun never having started at least not in the way you thought it would Vincent Egan travel colum for Thomson News Service it a coontercottager Hair Today Extensively balding men cite these as the most common psychosocial events that occurred when their hair loss began GRAPHICS Almost 90 percent ot men suffering from extens ha r loss say the most common result about the baldness Nearly 70 percent say they spent more time look ng at themselves n Ihe mirror OUR LANGUAGE by Jeffrey In newspapers banner indicates a 1 headline Ihc page Wave this type of banner to support free of the press Anemic weak or lacking in vitality Adding words such as anemic is a sure v ay to strengthen your vocabulary wife says swam I say swum Which one right A That depends The past tense of the verb swim is swam as in I swam yesterday The past participle how ever is swum usually found after a helping verb I have swum several times this week From now on when you use swam and swum you should be in the swim Something exclamatory is meant to be loud and clear This adjective starts like point which should follow the writing of anything exclamatory In gardening a trowel is a curved hand tool for taking up small plants or loosening soil A neat hint trowel rhymes with 01 LANGUAGE ADVICE A printing produced the latest winner of an Ad Vice Award This company offers to handle your printing neeus including brochures cards and stationary Sta nonary describes something that stands still Writing paper is spelled with an as in letter If you misspell stationery stop the presses Do you have a question or comment about our language write to n in care of this papth From now until Aug Canadafs premier cabinet maker Beckermann Kitchens will be giving away Whirlpool dishwashers Consult your Beckermann Dealer now This is your chance to really clean A FREE WHIRLPOOL DISHWASHER WITH THE PURCHASE OF A MM offer valid only unto Aug Offer valid with minimum cabinet purchase of offer valid only with the purchase of the following I Models viola I- viola it Melissa Windsor suggested retail value Dreams Really Can Come True All it takes is Beckermann A Touch 8534577 8534655 KITCHEN SHOWROOM INC In Canada used authority of Canadian Trademark mm