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THE HERALD OUTLOOK Saturday August 1 Page 5 Colonel Barber a true officer and gentleman Have you ever read those published columns on proper eti quette Every so often a reader writes in and asks What is the proper response when a fainting flounder ing fly is found in your of hot steaming soup at an elegant private dinner Miss Manners and Emily Post usually write a Dont gag or bring up Dont coarsely announce to all and sundry Theres a dead fly in my soup c Discreetly ladle the offending fly into a spoonful of the soup and swish Down the hatch Would you take that kind of ad vice I wouldnt but I know a man that did He is alive hale and hearty right here in Georgetown Let me tefl you about the day I dropped a bulging bowl of hot bur ning smelly pipe tobacco in my colonels lemon sauce and lived to tell this tale He acted like an officer and a gentleman A true aristocrat If he swallowed that firing squad lemon sauce he never batted his baton He never threatened me with a court martial the awkward squad or cut off my personal line of credit with him At the time of my behaviour I think I owed him two and six English currency Col John R Barber was the epitome of what Miss Manners and Emily had said in their reply Gallantry was expected here After all it was wartime England John did it in front of his troops Witnesses to this act of gallantry were Bill Collier Jack Watson Geir Hayes my brother Steve cousin Joe BUI Young Scoop Spence Chas Boyle Ed Hill Fred Tost KD Barber Paul Barber Jim Collier and last but not least Martin and They were but a few of our com pany In military parlance we were Charlie company an outstanding body of men The day I risked the wrath of my supenor officer was a beautiful English summer day in a green meadow beside a country lane It was ver hot The locals said it was the hottest summer in years It was According to the syllabus we always went according to the syllabus we were to the amaze ment of some exactly where we were supposed to be At the half way point of our fourteen mile route march in full battle dress The cooks has arrived and set up their field kitchen The hot meal was served from stainless steel boxes side by side on an angle ironed frame about sixteen inches high so that a streak of fiery flame from the oversized blow torch at the end of the frame could shoot under the box bottoms and worm the food I dont know to this day why they were called cow boxes The name was probably an idea of Army Intelligence The stainless steel cow boxes of that route march remind me of todays blue boxes shape and context They both contain gar bage Other ranks like me were fed first then the officers Some of us felt this procedure was a throwback to the days of for kings and queens When the showed no signs of poison the feast for kings and queens commenced with a whisper to enjoy ringing in their ears When our survival was certain after a meal I cant remember ever whispering enjoy into any officers ear The cow boxes on the frame con tained mystery meat potatoes a veggie gravy tea pudding and the last box contained the lemon sauce It was always a pleasure to receive parcels cigaret tes cigars pipe tobacco candy shaving cream money from friends employers and organiza tions One organization mailed me all these things plus an shaped curved Sherlock Holmes pipe I have hated pipes ever since After our noon meal we usually Wove Stories by W Steamer Emmerson changed our sweaty smelly woolen socks to a clean pair from our pack I had just changed packed and lit my Sherlock Holmes pipe for the first time Sgt Bill Collier ordered some of us to get up and serve the officers Once a week in those early army days our cook served a pudding for dessert with a thick lemon sauce Now I know some of you are already saying to yourself that damn Steamer got the cow box with the lemon sauce Go to the head of the class and by George who was the first in line You guessed it None other than Col John Barber At that time he was our company commander and a good one Just as he asked me for lots of that lemon sauce the darned Sherlock Holmes pipe flipped over in my mouth as I tried to answer respect fully Yes Sir To help it from falling complete ly in the sauce I bit the stem when the pipe was upside down and I watched my military career careen with a blazing bowl of Old Imperial pipe tobacco into the lemon sauce that huge bowl of aromatic tobacco wasnt going to do a damn thing for that lemon sauce To this day 1 dont know and I never asked if he actually saw the incident because it happened so quickly but believe you me I stir red that lemon sauce like Betty Crocker with a new electric mixer You would think in a nasty situa tion like this I would have apologiz ed immediately I didnt The only thing I could think of was What if John R call in all our loans He was our Johnny Cash machine our colonel our instant teller We all owed him money Every night we negotiated loans in his blocked out quarters at the back door of the officers mess Each of us had touched him for two and six half crowns to go to the pub and if we were going on leave we were talking folding money Sometimes if John was busy pro posing a toast to His Majesty the mess he would turn over the cash box to his right hand man Ron Ed wards Dannys dad To the best of my knowledge he never wrote down in a book who owed what He trusted us We trusted him Now you can understand why I was so reluctant to blurt out Sorry about that old chap Big money was at stake here Maybe four or five pounds when you added up everyones in debtedness to John If he hadnt been a gentleman I could have spent my military career in a latrine with a mop and pail The old army song said it all Youll get no promotion This side of the ocean So cheer up my lads Bless em all About 20 years ago John invited me as his guest to a mess dinner where His Excellency The Right Honorable Governor Ross Mac- Donald was the guest of honor Black tie and miniatures were to be worn It was a wonderful evening of warmth and laughter with cherish ed wartime buddies Col John Barber was at his delightful and humorous best that special evening I know his influence was con sidered when the menu was offered for his approval The entrees and wines were well chosen I was afraid to ask why we didnt have pudding and lemon sauce tor dessert With NutriSystem I lost 66 lbs and ate the kind of food I love Real food Its just like the kind of food you get at your grocers freshtasting and delicious And there was plenty of variety Seafood and Noodles Beef Stroganoff Chicken Oriental and more Even great desserts like Orange Sherbet and Vanilla Pudding NutriSystem showed me that you can eat goodtasting nutritious food and still lose weight Our Comprehensive Weight Loss Program Will Help Over ONE MILLION Clients This Year It includes Safe easy and permanent weight loss Professional Supervision No calorie counting No gimmicks OVER 1700 CENTRES WORLDWIDE system weight loss centres SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER 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