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A look back The honeymoon was over all too soon Will you bear with me a mo ment or two while I tell you one more sheriff story It s about a bnde that didnt make it through the honeymoon When she came down for breakfast on the first morning with her new husband she asked for separate checks It was at this point that things were put asunder Maybe she was disappointed or disgusted I don t know and I didn t ask One thing I do know she was determined to get all the wedding gifts out of her mother in law s house where they were stored The new bnde arriving home and her new adversary locked horns on the doorstep Permission to enter to retrieve the gifts was denied and the war was on Her lawyer had a Writ of Delivery issued directing the sheriff to deliver up the goods described and to hand them over to the plaintiff If I had known that writ was go ing to be my assignment that morning I would have booked off sick Her marriage licence really became my hunting licence and heavens to Betsy I was about to become a big game hunter for the day This wasn going to be resolv over a cup of tea and a piece of wedding cake One old fellow at a wedding reception said the wedding cake was the most dangerous food a HILLS COLLISION RH 1 ACTON ONT WATERWOftTH WELDING LTD Portable Wilding Rig Aggregate A Heavy Equipment Repair Steel A Aluminum Fabrication Mlg Tig A Stick Welding FARM RESIDENTIAL INDUSTRIAL JM 877 0076 ml i 7404 Good service good coverage good price Thats State Farm insurance Guelph SI Georgetown Like a good neighbor State Farm is there STATE ftmiovnnt Stones by Steamer couple could eat He was dead right I took a uniformed officer along just in case With the document in my hands I went over them carefully My plan was to grab the carving sets and table knives first There was the usual expected wedding gifts toasters coffee maker tea ket tie carving set with a penny in side blenders pillow slips ble size sheets curtains cutlery V set and on and on All these gifts were to help the happy pie start up their first happy home Picture this as Sophia would say on The Golden Girls I was being commanded to enter into the lion s den There was one lion chasing me into the cage and another lion inside about to eat me alive There is an old joke that says the lions were so fierce that when the tamer went into the cage with his chair he didn t get a chance to sit down I was about to be the lion tamer with no chance of sitting down With me was the uniformed of ficer to keep the peace He was young and a rookie He gained some experience that day let me tell you The constable and yours truly showed up at the front door and the battle of the sexes began Red seals badges uniforms t mean a thing to the mother in law She called on the rest of the adult family lo resist all costs To make matters worse no one in the family spoke English The sign language being expressed back and forth between the daughter in law and her hostile mother in left little doubt in my mind that a peaceful solution was impossible Their gestures certainly could be considered inappropriate in polite circles Finally a son was located who spoke English well and was level headed Through all the shouting and the gestures the young policeman said I wouldn t want your job for all the tea in China The son explained to the rest of the family in their language and reluctantly they allowed us into the bedroom There in the beautiful boudoir was stacks and piles of gifts with the appropriate cards of love devotion and best wishes The lions were still growling and giving the odd roar as I ex amined every gift to make sure it was described properly on the writ As I carried out my duties it dawned on me good grief I might be the person to serve the Notice and Petition for Divorce What a happy thought At least divorce is one way of getting nd of an in law Leaving the house I thanked the son for acting as the inter The bride with all her gifts in tow couldnt resist one parting shot at her mother in law I asked the son what she said and he replied with a smile She my mother she was going to give her son a gift that will last forever a divorce I look at the weddings now with a jaundiced eye If they leave the church together its a good sign If they return together from the honeymoon they have a fighting chance PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE Take Advantage of JAKES FALL SPECIALS COMPLETE WINTERIZING PACKAGE Steam Cleaning Fire Interior Shampoo Engine Shampoo Under Car Oiling PermaSheen ScotchGuard TouchUp Offer Valid on New or Used Cars JAKES AUTO CLEAN Main St North 8773802 Moore Park Plaza Georgetown