Page 14 THE HERALD OUTLOOK Saturday December 1 19M Lifestyle Gender stereotyping a pain f It Saw it I By DIANA GERBER The other day I read one of those advice columns you see in most big city papers It contained a series of letters in which men and women gave their views on a letter which appeared previous ly The whole fuss it seems began with a pregnant woman who was forced to stand obvious ly uncomfortably on a bus as many others men and women alike sat comfortably ignoring her This reminds me of many a friendly discussion I have had with people of the opposite sex regarding the difference between chivalry and chauvinism In the society in which I grew up these two terms are not as far apart as they might seem I am not threatened when a man opens a door for me nor am I annoyed when he holds my chair or offers his arm for me In fact I kind of like it It can really f make me feel special and attend edto However I also am a young lady who grew up in a family of six four of whom are boys In my i household when there were i chores to be done we all helped male or female and did our share Therefore when there is work to be done now it is only natural for me to do my part in the labor I This is where the conflict I anses Is a man by letting me oh dear break a sweat not fulfilling his chivalrous duty Or would he I be an absolute cad if he did not rush past me to clear tions such as doors from my I path What pray tell is the dif ference in these and why is this whole matter such a touchy sub- Personally I can say that I dont mind a man opening a door for me because I would assume that he believes I could do it myself were he not around least I should hope so I often open a door for colleagues male and female myself There are other situations where I do feel threatened Life In My Lane though For example when I go grocery shopping with my band he insists on lugging off- balance 10 out of the bags of course the heaviest ones and letting me help by carrying the one with the corn flakes oh heave and the one with the bread well rye is a heavy dough To silly old me it would only make common sense for us to carry an equal amount give or take a bag I hate to hurt his feelings but 1 would and could carry the bags myself if he were not there I hope this would not make me out to be some kind of in his mind but it is true I have a fair amount of strength in my arms I m just asking the men in the world to accept that I not try to prove anything to them in doing my share I was bom after the last cinder of the last burnt bra was extinguished and have never even considered setting a match to my own Men should also understand that I dont expect them to prove themselves to me either Im ahead of them in the hall they should not feel obligated to rush past me to get the door This is a pressure that they should feel relieved of If I get there first it is my pleasure to clear his way This all leaves me back with the poor woman standing on the bus One ignorant person wrote in saying that women had been try ing for years for equal rights and now dont like the lack of benefits accompanying that standing To this bitter sould I would ask if a man were standing in the aisle who was obviously ill white as a sheet and shaking with weakness would you not give up your seat for him bet the answer would be yes I guess the moral of the story boys and girls not to do polite things for someone just because they are of a certain gender So next time you are planting a tree before you say No dear you dont have to worry your pretty little self with this old hole I II be down the four feet in no time remember that you would have forced your brother to do his share of the work If shes offer ing let her help Even if she s not offering it s sometimes alright to expect aid And on the other hand if so meone is in need give them the help required Don look first to see if that person is male or female because each situation each person is different Follow your instincts of common politeness Now please excuse me everyone I have to go help my husband with the laundry I dont think he could handle it alone Then again I dont think Hulk Hogan could either Clothing ens Ladies Childrens ALTERATIONS REPAIRS 8771598 MYGENmVTION Fashions For The Young At Heart 115 MAIN ST SGEORGETOWN From Knox Church 873 JONGS RESTAURANT Lunch Specials Every Day Buffet Every Sat Sun from 500 pm Fait Delivery Service Wtdmaki it right 71 ft Georgetown Ontario WERE YOUR INSURANCE BROKERS WE UNDERSTAND PAUL C ARMSTRONG INSURANCE BROKERS 143 MILL SI Nation Georgetown Ontario 8770133 GEORGETOWN OPTICAL