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Page 10 THE WEEKEND OUTLOOK Friday February 1 Editorial First rate reading For quite some time now I have wanted to lay my ink- stained hands on a copy of The Old Farmers Almanac The pro blem you see has been what might best be termed twofold In the first place I dont really know any old fanners Secondly I dont really think I would want to lift his book and be chased all over hill and dale even between Roy and Dale by a deranged bull simply because I wanted some reading material The other day however courtesy of Canada Post a copy of the 1991 Old Farmers Almanac arrived on my desk Knowing Posts reputation for efficiency I doublechecked to make sure it wasnt the edi tion and also checked for hoof prints to make sure it hadnt been delivered by some galoot of a Pony Express rider Canada Post passed the test on both counts For those unaware of the Old Farmers Almanac it is indeed a treasuretrove of information tidbits and trivia First published in the Old Farmers Almanac used to and still does for that matter provide some fine reading when you are spending time in the outhouse or even the indoor version of same It is the oldest continuously published periodical North America Environmentalists will also be pleased to note that the current version is recyclable There are planting tables recipes zodiac secrets and advertisements galore including one for hernia appliances I wonder if that dipstick who advertises on the radio for The Brick knows about that line of ap pliances I found out about meteor showers and earthquakes and got a kick out of an article gleaned from folk tales on things to know about having a baby and taking care of a baby A couple of ex- Editors Notebook by Colin Gibson amples Labor pains can be eased by putting an axe under the bed My suggestion avoid arguments in the bedroom Call a child Piggy to make himher grow My suggestion stop calling the kid Piggy as soon as heshe starts growing chest hair To make a child grow tall put manure in he babys shoes My suggestion remember to put the kid outside when guests arrive I also discovered that wall climbing is one of the hottest new exercise fads in athletic clubs According to the information some people are even building their own climbing walls in their homes As a former sports writer I ap prove of exercise and fitness With my circles of friends however their climbing walls would likely be made of cellophane and erected perilously close to the balcony with a drop of about 100 feet beckoning would- be climbers Yes indeed The Old Farmers Almanac is must reading even if it is only used as a way to pass time or other things Speaking of which Id like to tell you more about the treats in side the covers but I must heed the call of nature and Im taking the thing with me 1 YOUNG LADY WAR IN KUWAIT A WORD IN YOUR EAR There once war Youre giving him rights to in Kuwait your body Everyone there was afraid Dont give him the rights to They thought It was stupid your soul and such a bore Youre giving him life long To fight like that commitment especially war Selffulfillment should still by Bradshaw be your goal age 11 Milton I know how much you love him I dont doubt he loves you too SUZY SPRING But love for a man Is different Spring Than for the likes of me Lost her ring and you Down the drain These words may sound In the rain quite cynical She went to her mother They may make you angry And her mother said and blue You poor little daughter But much as you care for your Go to bed husband to be By Wocker Dont ever forget about you age 11 Milton Relationships arent easy As Im sure you already know LOST LOVE You wont make him happy by He never said goodbye to losing yourself her The trick is helping each other No so long or Ill write to grow He simply never called her By Acton As the days turned Into night Each time the telephone would JUST BETWEEN FRIENDS ring He said hed never me Shed pray that It was him Well Just be friends hed say As the days went by shed sit I thought that I could change and cry him And her hopes at last grew dim So 1 loved him anyway She knew in her heart theyd When I told him so he left me be apart His last words very curt For evermore in life I warned you not to love me And theyd talked of mar I didnt want you hurt riage Its not so much he broke my She would never be his wife heart Shed never know what made Im strong and Ill live through him go It- He needed to be free What makes the pain so hard to And he disappeared surely Ab a teardrop In the sea that I helped him to do it BBrooke B Brooke Acton Acton The Hills HERALD Home Newspaper of Hills Established 1 866 A Division of Canadian Newspaper Company Limited Guelph Street Georgetown Ontario L7G 326 K ROBERT Publisher and General Manager 8772201 Ban Gumma It BooniloppakPol CIRCULATION Wirli ACCOUNTING HATES Cop Sinai lion r all Mr so all fc in Ilia Harald copyright on all original nam malarial 111 amploraaa an In AoWUilri Ouaan St Toconlo Ontario MSH at dull arflecufciiliWi WHOS THe SAMSWTHING PARK SHADOWS TWINING WORLD Strange eating habits There you are traipsing blithe ly along and feeling only mildly guilty about the fact that you eat meat And then one morning you read an utterly ghastly item in the newspaper Apparently a scientist from the and one from Zaire the paper didnt name them for reasons which will immediately become clear are going into the experimental ratfarming business The two of them are studying giant wild African rats to see if they can be raised in captivity for food The paper added that these rates are so popular in Zaire that rat steak costs more than beef Coming soon to a fastfood outlet near you McRodent This is the sort of thing that could cause a fellow to reassess his feelings about tofu enough this news item didnt come as a total sur prise to me A friend once worked as a teacher in Nigeria and reported that taverns in Africa often serve fried bushrat as snack food Apparently bushrat is served as a kind of shishkabob Rodent- one of the few culinary concepts in the world that can actually make McRibs sound appealing by comparison The problem of course lies in how were supposed to process this sort of information The plain fact is that different cultures have different tastes and people in foreign lands cook all sorts of animals that a Cana dian would never dream of eating Hence the philosophical dilemma how can a fairminded Canadian presume to criticize another cultures taste in en- Weirs World by Ian Weir Thomson Newi Sirvice trees We were forcibly reminded of this during the Seoul Olympics when Western athletes had to cope with restaurants serving that traditional Korean delicacy Ive never been to Korea myself So Ive never had to cope with a culture in which chow time referred to the breed of the luncheon special Somehow though I think this is just about where my mindedness shortcircuits Call me squeamish but Id just rather not think about poached collie or beagle All the same this lands me in an ethical quagmire How can I justify gagging at the thought of fried bushrat or braised basset when Im quite content to turn around and eat a cow In the case of eating dogs I can hazard at least a partial justifica tion for my opposition It just doesnt seem fair to eat something which would under happier circumstances have been pleased to fetch you your slippers But this justification breaks down when you try to apply it to say rats Rats do not love to fetch sticks for you and it would be just plain silly to name one Rover Unfortunately the same ap plies to cows In desperate moments Ive hazarded the argument that eating beef is okay because the cow being notoriously stupid is a lower form of life than a cat or a dog Obviously this argument has problems What do you do about cows that are more intelligent than most And what about a dog thats exceptionally dim Give him six months to learn how to roll over and then prepare the sauce On truly desperate occasions Ive tried to justify eating beef on personal grounds pointing out that I was as a child once chas ed and badly frightened by a steer But I had the same formative experience with policemen So where does this leave us Ultimately I just have to fall back on the argument that I eat beef as opposed to dogs and rats because of the way its raised The sirloin steak as we all know is carefully tended by farmers who allow it to remain on the tree until it has reached maturity and developed its pro tective cellophane coating Then its lovingly picked and hand- delivered to the supermarket along with the fruit of the drumstick plant and the pork chop vine I honestly believe this I have to Cause we all know what tofu tastes like