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THE WEEKEND OUTLOOK Friday IS 1M1 The bearer of Gl tidings Havent we all been invited at one time to me of beautiful sunny Bummer Saturday after noon weddings where the bride as radiant a a till Marlene rose the groom handsome as all get out solemnized their vows with dignity and grace Sure we have And during the sacred ceremony has your heart not fill ed with pride and good wishes as you anxiously awaited the mo ment to embrance and con gratulate them Its happened to all of us Sometimes now intuition and past experience tells me mar are so short now the possibility exists they might not leave the church together still married I hated going to weddings while I was still the Deputy Sheriff For some reason I just t help but think what might be in store for the youngsters from a legal perspective What caused my discomfort and uneasiness was the minister or priest after the exchange of rings pronouncing solemnly Those whom God hath Joined together let no man put asunder I always cringed That line bothered me to no end Heavens above on my job I was putting marriages asunder faster than they could be consum mated One of my duties was to per sonalty serve documents describ ed as Notice of Petition and Petition for Divorce Forgive me for being im modest I became pretty slick at it Served lots of them Why goodness gracious it got so I could recite paragraphs from the documents by heart Id served so many I always looked at it from the perspective you were being given the pink slip by your mate when I laid those papers on you Those sunny summer Saturday afternoon wedding photos were no longer prized possesions on the family mantle They too had been given the heaveho long before I arrived upon the scene You ve all heard that expres sion Shoot the messenger when the bearer of bad news descends upon you That s exactly the way I felt lots of tunes when a former happy wanted to take his or her anger out on me when I quickly presented the documents Experience had taught me to get the message across quickly then exit quickly Never never try to act as the counsellor If you got out of the house or apartment unscathed then you could consider a valid service had taken place and you might set asunder another one or two before your evening was complete But every once in a while a warm welcome awaited a happy couple living together often anx iously awaited the deliverance of these documents with anticipa so they could legitimize their unholy union Max Storey the famous auc tioneer of these parts once told an auction crowd that up around living together in sin was considered by the locals as light housekeeping I met several light housekeepers in my line of business One particular evening I bounc Alcoholism chief cause of pancreatic disease Alcoholism is the leading cause of acute and chronic pancreatitis in the US Abdominal pain signals the disease which may require surgery in some cases Excessive use of alcohol also acts as a depressant on the central nervous system and causes such gastrointestinal problems as cancer of the larynx and esophagus fatty liver cirrhosis and diarrhea As many as 12 million Americans can be classified as true alcoholics From Contemporary Gastroenterology Nov Dec 1990 Stones by Steamer up the front steps and knocked on the door A good looking young fellow answered and certainly was pleased to see me This definitely was a rare occurence He made me welcome and shouted to his co light housekeeper who was in the bath that the Sheriff had arrived with the they were expecting The gentleman in me came to the fore as I willingly suggested I could Call back at a more conve nient time No way This little light was whooping and hollering for joy amid the soap bubbles and demanded I be ushered in to her most private of private rooms and serve her wrapped only in a shower cur tain When youre the Sheriff a Deputy Sheriff or a Sheriffs Of ficer you see everything life has to offer good and bad nothing surprises you I had other marriages that night to put asunder so to save a little time why not serve her in the tub Before I entered I had the documents opened at the ap propriate page foi signing On the side of the tub she sign ed soap suds and all Before she could say wash my back I was in and out In this line of work you learn to get in quick and get out quick In my office I was considered adroit at serving deadly documents Nowadays when I go to wed dings and everyone is gushing about how lovely the bride looks I cant help but wonder through my past experiences how she would look in the bath tub If things go asunder TV ON TOSHIBA a Colour TOSHIBA cum ream control Inputs Variable output acan Mi resolution output pi TOSHIBA Slcffl BlACKSTBIPE cable reedy control Remote Control digital picture 00 Colour TO SHI A wlUl Rami Accost Romole Control Wen 1S1 channel cable rawly remote control On- screen channel Unwind volume displays TOSHIBA IVflS random tuning II loading Quick Accasa IBtChannal CaWa within ScfMn Programming 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