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THE WEEKEND OUTLOOK Friday June 1991 Page 9 Hospital hijinks recalled Have you ever had the kissing disease I have It isn what you think When Georgetown Hospital opened 30 years ago I was on staff and one of the first staff members to be admitted as a patient Word spread like wildfire I had the kissing There was a steady stream of young folks and a couple of seniors visiting me anxious to know even if they shook my hand was there a possibility it would be transmitted to them Several guys shook hands ump teen times One guy didn t want to let go Kissing was all they wanted to talk about when they visited Naturally I let on there were only certain individuals blessed with this medical malady but left out the part doc tors and nurses knew This was a disease that often showed up in people working in a hospital en vironment When the guys found out this part they applied in droves for hospital jobs It t matter what their ex was washing windows garbage detail they were willing to assume these tasks to perhaps come in contact with the kissing To the best of my recollection there were fellows that ap plied for work On their apphca when they came to the tion What type of work are you prepared to do one hundred per cent answered anything You can see they were keen to get the kissing bug What I really had was mononucleosis and glandular fever but that didn t mean a damn thing to the fellows They just thought you got an awful lot of kissing Goodness I tell them stories when they pushed me for details about my affliction Why one fellow got so excited when I whispered it was kissing like he d never had before he jumped right into the empty bed next to me and demanded that he be treated right away I got so good at telling stones about the kissing disease some fellows actually came back to see me twice One fellow came three times The medical people knew it often showed up in hospital employees but I begged them not to set the record straight just yet because some of my buddies were now telling me of even kiss ing their wives and getting in enjoyment One fellow who was sure he had picked up the bug was anxiously awaiting a company party com up He was sure he would be admit ted the next day with the kissing disease Even more infectious than mine I would be remiss if I t tell about genteel Miss Director of Nursing who cheerily came one day and asked if I would consent to being bathed by a group of young nursing assis tant trainees under the instruc turn of Mrs Kelso Simon CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT a Phone 416877 Main Street South Georgetown Ontario 5 8770109 8770109 8770109 Stones by Steamer Emmerson Will 1 11 even throw in my own soap They all gathered around my bed Imagine I thought to myself how my buddies would react in disbelief when I tell them part of the treatment for kissing disease is the sensuous delight of being bathed by a horde of tive young women When I told this story to one of my visitors he immediately went to Out Patients and described all the symptoms and demanded ad mission To the best of my knowledge only two original employees re main from 30 years ago Robinson and Dave Barton The three of us could tell you some funny stones of the early days Like the auxiliary cart being stored in the morgue until one volunteer found more than the cart one day The day Miss head nurse in the OR captured a runaway reluctant youngster who was to have a and A that morning She marched down the cor ridor patient over her shoulder his buttocks exposed and Miss Hopwood in a tizzy begging to cover him up cover him up McLellan wasn t the type to be fooled with I could go on and tell you more funny stones of a young brand new spanking hospital taking it s first step in a community thrilled that at last we had one of our own But best of all Operation is filled with fun skits and humor playing at the John Elliott Theatre Friday tonight and Saturday Go you 11 die laughing Years ago Ralph ursel gave me tapes of Operation 62 I played it yesterday I heard the voices of Enid Kay Thompson Ross Nor ton Bill Fisher Bill Carr my own Jim Vera Mac Donald Nadme Rupert and other cast members It sure brought back a lot of wonderful Before I go one more story Rex Heslop donated a house to be given away on a draw Tickets were mailed out to former residents and friends to pur chase Although the intentions were good this was illegal and the government said stop and give the money back On the tape I heard myself singing Mayor Armstrong on the hospital Sent raffle tickets through the mail Then Ottawa notified poor John Keep on and you 11 go to jail John quickly called a commit tee meeting and laid things on the line The government threatened me with ears and I just can t spare the time To the hospital tions and to the cast of Operation break a leg S And at the cast party be mindful of the kissing disease It takes a while to get over Whats Cooking at STEAK EXPRESS o SATURDAY BARBECUES WEATHER PERMITTING jSSr mam Learn to Drive and Survive Young Drivers of Canada centa coast tcoast Defensive driving you can live with GEORGETOWN CLASSROOM 1i ID S SPECIAL DAY PROGRAM June 24252627 9 a 3 38 p m CALL 8770751 400 000 GRADUATES RECOMMEND YOUNG DRIVERS lwL OF CANADA Saturday June 15th THANKS to all of you who came out and supported our annual Charity Burger Day for the Canadian Foundation for Ileitis and Colitis Thanks to you we raised Special thanks to Mayor Russ Miller and Councillors Gerald Alf Spence Robert Heaton and Al Cook Boneless New York Striploin Steaks Guaranteed Tender Baton Wrapped Filet Mignon Heat n Serve L Breaded Solid While Meat Chicken Strips 3 lb Authentic Oktoberfest Sausage COUPON Our No 1 Selling Burger Tasty Burgers or Deluxe Pizza poppa on choose poppor mushrooms Coupon Vil d at Georgetown Location and choose lias I Skinless I Boneless I Chicken Breasts towrtfctanl Optra Coupon SulL Pepperoni or Deluxe PIZZA Co Heat n Serve Cabbage Rolls I If 5 lb Deluxe Trim Pork Loin Chops COUPON 15 I Fresh 12 Pack WIENERS d Georgetown Location Only Coupon Sun June OPEN 7 DAYS Canadas largest specialty frozen food chain GEORGETOWN 211GUELPHST hwy7 8732151 HOURS Sunday 11am MonWtd 10arn6prn 10arnSprn