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the HERALD Editorial Friday August 2 Home Newspaper of Halton Hills Established 1 A Division of Canadian Newspaper Company Limited Guelph Street Georgetown Ontario 3Z6 K ROBERT MALCOLMSON Publisher and General Manager 8772201 IN RATES Com I Hilton IS DO 111 month a lit month GIBSON Maniglng Editor DAN TAYLOR Miiuger HIM I T oiU 5m onfl CI a a 1 1 ii ii i i in i copyilaM on origin rfowt and It Mid In INi Qirtan MJH Hit or Cathead SI OuotMc tor in no tor tilling out In In Mm by Inil potion In Happy days are gone again Mores the pity Happy days are gone again for another year with only soggy memories re maining I returned this past week to the realm of inkstained wretches after two weeks of holidays in beautiful I did not journey south of the border to the United Ingrates of America because I feet what few ducats I am able to squirrel away for use during vacation time is best spent in Canada Besides I cant speak American and Im not too sure of their water I enjoyed the brief time off although some of the consider me more than a bit off most of the time and brought back some stories to relate to the interested For those not interested well theres always the bottom of the bird cage I trekked north for my first week of vacation to my usual haunt A cottage on the West Arm of Lake Nippissing on Samoset Lodge property near close to the French River area It is a beautiful spot and well worth the five hour drive even on Hwy the wellnoted death road My son Jason and a friend of his Steve known as Lurp to his buddies ac companied me and my female companion to the near north out post A word of advice to parents and other sorts who head out to the supposed Leave the computer games at home These two characters must have spent half the week in the cottage play ing Seaga games- There was a pool table at the lodge and time was spent there as well So much for enjoying the great outdoors I rented a canoe for the pair one day and like a forlorn whale it spent most of the time on the beach The water lapped about feet from the cottage but for the most part this hardy pair swam in the lodges indoor pool and enjoyed a sauna It was outside and these two were in a sauna Go figure We got out on the water a bit but unlike in previous years I didnt encounter any major catastrophes except for one close call The motor I rented this year was an HP and to put it bluntly it was a lemon The thing stalled continuously and refused to start a few times I had heard rowing is good for your health I think I returned fairly healthy Jason caught a few small bass and a fairsized yellow perch caught one bass didnt like the feel of it and after performing various forms of torture on the creature while attempting to get the fish of the hook relinquished it to the watery wallows At last sight the fish was seen limping away on one fin I caught a bit of a cold two hooks with my toes and a bit of a sunburn In order to get away from the As I See It by Colin Gibson excitement of the cottage my companion and I ventured to the Hotei one day In three years I have yet to find Monetville but know where the hotel is located We were greeted by Chuck the barman why are all bartenders named Chuck who informed us he was from Linden near Hamilton and was an ardent Hamilton TigerCat fan This might explain how he ended up in It should also be noted there were a few Toronto Blue Joke fans in attendance as well The Blue Jokes as we all know have been making like Pee Wee Herman of late exposing their The highlight of our time at the hotel was getting to meet a local couple Ed and Ethel Ed bent and gnarled looked to be about 150yearsold but was still full of vim and vinegar Ethel maybe a couple of years younger was just recovering from a near tragic accident As she reached over to bum a cigarette she explained that she had been in the hotel a few weeks before with her portable oxygen tank She suffered from asthma After a couple of beers she forgot about the tank and lit up a cigarette The tank exploded and she was rushed by ambulance to a Sudbury hospital She explain ed however that she had learned her lesson Never bring the ox ygen tank to the hotel It appears our steamed Prime Minister Good Old BM is no more popular up north than in southern Ontario According to Ed he is referred to in their area as Burnt Macaroni not good for anything except the garbage With this pearl of wisdom Ed and Ethel explained they had to leave Ed had work to do on his chicken coop Seemed he had been losing a few chickens Cant understand why though he pondered while scratching his head Ive only been working on the damn thing for two years Smart birds guess With that the pair fish tailed out of the hotel parking lot in their pickup truck I got a glimpse of a bumper sticker on the rear of Eds pickup Preserve wildlife have a par ty it read See you next year Ed As 1 see it anyway Poets Corner An empty desert like a In the sky Iwanttogetout A fleeting spring day with and coldness THE WORLD no understanding The animals died Im alone and afraid all caught op in grief Karl Andrews Acton Catch your surgery on film Let me ask you something Are there times when you begin to think our society is getting a wee bit narcissistic I dont think this of course Generally speaking I try not to form negative opinions of anyone or anything Its much safer lo go through life in a sort of genial grey fog nodding vague agreement with whatever people say Still I was just wondering if maybe you had formed a negative opinion when you read in the newspaper about the latest fad thats sweeping society I refer of course to surgical videos Unfortunately Im not making this up Apparently hospital pa tients the S have actually begun arranging to have their surgery videotaped Just think of it The next time youre wheeled into the operating room you wont be merely a pa tient Youll be the star of Bill and Teds Excellent Appendectomy Or perhaps Ghost At the risk of voicing a negative opinion I should confess that I have a few nagging doubts about the current mania for home videos in general You know what I mean the ap parent belief that a birthday par ty kindergarten recital or peewee hockey game hasnt real ly happened unless youve videotaped it Oh I suppose I see the theory here The theory is that Billy will be eternally grateful that you taped his first game so that he can watch his athletic triumphs- with pride and delight in future years Like most theories however this one has a flaw the problem being that it overlooks two fun damental laws One most of us are wretchedly incapable of athletic triumphs Two but memory is kind Personally I was a middling- torotten Little Leaguer Every year however I get better And there exist no lying videotapes to contradict me But I digress We were address ing the fundamental question who on earth would want a videotape of his surgery I certainly embrace the princi ple that selfawareness is impor tant and that we should all take time occasionally to look deep within ourselves But surely there are limits Like most people Ive undergone surgery And I took the traditional approach to the experience that this was a private matter involving my surgeon and my internal organs If the two of them were to be in volved in some sort of dispute then I didnt want to hear about it Besides there are other peo ples feelings to be considered here For starters we know that home videos never remain private The whole point of doing a video is to show it to your friends which really doesnt bear thinking on at all Okay gang First well watch the doc strip my varicose veins and then well fire up the barbecue And what about the surgeon I cant quite imagine the surgeon being thrilled about arriving at the hospital and discovering that hes expected to give a feature performance complete with pre- op interview Well Dave that gall blad ders big and its tough But were just going to go in there and per cent Besides videotaping the doctor denies him the chance to use many of the normal surgical terms during the operation like forinstance whoops I I guess well just have to get used to living in a society in which having your morrhoids removed becomes an exercise in selfexpression t And in which doctors give a whole new answer to the question of why they continue to dedicate themselves to the healing arts despite the stress and long hours and the general lack of public ap preciation What and leave show business Peoples Lessons from Garth Dear Editor The headline on page reads Ottawa to soon outlaw govern ment Spending My first reac tion was either your paper had gone bonkers or I was smoking something that put thy vision in question Upon reading the Ottawa Report one finds the headline completely false What it ways is that the feds are going to cap their spending by 3 per cent a far different cry from the headline Libertarians have been saying for years take away the credit card There is no accountability by governments any more A letter to the Editor thanks Garth for taking them off of unemployment or welfare and hiring them for the GST office We taxpayers are lucky to have Garth take off one government spending scheme put on another Either way taxpayers lose the only winner is Garth who no doubt enjoys the travel and perks at taxpayers expense By the way Garth you sound more like a Libertarian every day It seems you are learning Sincerely Libertarian Write us a letter The Herald wants to hear from you If you have an opinion you want to express comment to make send us a letter or drop by the office Our address Is Street Georgetown On tario All letters must be signed Please include your address and telephone number for verifica tion