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THE NEW TANNERTHURSDAY, MAY 17, 2018 5THE NEW TANNER THURSDAY, MAY 17, 20184 As Mother's Day once again comes and goes, I wonder if we truly understand how to hon- our these incredible people. Sure, we give them flowers or make them breakfast in bed but compared to their feats it is but a small and meek gesture. Mothers everywhere--and for- ever--have done what no one else could--or would--and done so on more of a learning curve than even they might like to admit. Diapers and bottles give way to picky eaters and temper tantrums and then slow- ly, but surely, the challenges become much more visceral. Friends. Self-image. Firsts. Crushes. Disappointments. Successes. Failures. And while we hold their hands and be- come their emotional--and even sometimes physical-- punching bags, it truly takes a certain fortitude to watch your precious child struggle or ache and know that you can do little to ease that suffering. While it seems like only yesterday you brought that bundle home, now you are dealing with the challenges of them becom- ing so soon an adult but not quite there. And kid yourself not: such daily struggles are every bit as daunting and soul wrenching as the exceptional situations some moms find themselves. Sure, we think of the mothers in hospitals hold- ing onto hope whilst watching doctors purposefully poison their child in an attempt at sav- ing their life. Special needs mothers that celebrate each birthday wondering how their child will fare--not thrive but merely survive--once they are gone. Mothers of children who by what must appear some cruel lottery will never know the loving embrace-- perhaps even hear the word mom spoken--as they strug- gle to survive the daily realities of autism. And to many more whom must find Mother's Day the cruelest irony: the baby never held; the child who now calls someone else mother; the precious life taken too early. Be it illness or malice, accident or misadventure, the injustice of burying one's child is a hor- ror that cannot be understood, save by those who have had to walk that path. Clearly, for some their preconceived no- tion of raising a child was vastly different than the day- to-day existence they now find themselves and yet, their un- wavering love keeps pushing them on when the helplessness and exhaustion would make the rest of us quit. Yet, it is not just the ex- ceptions that deserve our observat ion. When I was young, tongues wagged for those moms who worked in- stead of staying home with their children. They were seen as somehow uncaring or uncom- mitted. No one stopped to think about why they were working or whether they were doing an adequate job. No one asked whether they were struggling or whether they needed help. No, they merely judged by a set of seemingly ordain and archaic set of standards to which it was unlikely any mother could achieve. Today, the standards have reversed; staying home now holds the same stigma and isolation. Mothers choos- ing to stay home--or having to because of needs or logis- tics--are callously shunned by many as lazy, not ambitious, or just too stupid to hold an im- portant job. Quick glances at ring fingers to decide if they are proper. Once-over nods to ap- pearances as if messy hair and no makeup is a sign of value in the motherhood economy. What people don't see are the authentic sacrifices these moms make. Coupons, discount racks, and dreams on hold. Less so- cial. Less status. Less worth. There are no rewards for put- ting life and personal ambition on hold to raise the child you chose to have and let's face it in a society of ample--and man- dated--sex education, ample contraceptives and abortion rights, unplanned does not mean no choice. But moms who stay home today have no government subsidy to offset the costs. No child care credit. No break on hydro time of use fees. We all know mothers who feel isolated and alone--like failures--and yet we do little to help them. We need to stop leaving Fa- cebook to support mothers and start doing our fair share in raising the children of our town. Stop punishing parents; letting mothers--and fathers-- choose the way to raise their children only ensures they do indeed raise them--not schools and institutions. Stop bullying parents into a one size fits all parenting method and parents, in turn, need to step up and meet the challenges, not hide behind fear or disap- proval. There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. For the sake of our fu- ture, perhaps we ought to take a look at how well our village does at helping our mothers. After all--the future is in their care. The New Tanner welcomes your Letters to the Editor, but, please keep in mind that letters must include the author's name, address and phone number in order for us to contact you if needed. Letters that are sent in anonymously will not be published. They may be edited for content or length. They are published as a first come first serve basis and we do not guarantee publication due to space availability. Just a thought Motherhood 101 sports talk By Trish Bell What Chris Paul and Alex Ovechkin have in common By Michael Oke looking Back By: Scott Brooks Take part to make it work letters The views expressed in these published letters are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The New Tanner Publishing Ltd. From a distance, it may be difficult to find any similarities between Chris Paul Houston Rocket (NBA) point guard and Alexander Ovechkin, captain of the NHL's Washington Capitals. For one thing Paul is an Afri- can-American basketball player, while Alex needs little introduc- tion--he is a Russian born left winger, widely regarded as one of the greatest goal scorers in the history of the NHL. Despite their amazing careers, they both had one albatross around their necks--despite their immense talent neither had ever played in a conference final. This curse was b roken last week for both men with Washington overcoming their perennial rivals the Pittsburgh Penguins--and one Sidney Crosby--to set up the Eastern conference final against the Tampa Bay Lightning, while Chris Paul was instrumental in the Houston booking a date with Golden State Warriors in the Western conference of the NBA, when they overcame the resili- ent Utah Jazz in five games. Prior to the current season, both had played a combined total of 173 playoff games without ever getting beyond a conference semi-final. I had a chance to look at their careers and found some other similarities; both started their North American professional sports life 13 years ago. They are both in their 30's--Paul is older--both play- ers are also considered leaders on and off the ice or court. They have both represented their countries at international sporting events and have played somewhat active roles in politics and civil society. With Ovech- kin infamously starting a social movement called "Team Putin" last year in support of Russian President Vladimir Putin. Chris Paul was selected president of the NBA Players Association in 2013 and played a key role in the suspension and later a lifetime ban of Donald Sterling the erstwhile owner of the Los Angeles Clippers for making racist remarks. This led to the eventual sale of the franchise to former CEO of Microsoft Steve Ballmer. With all the Toronto teams out of contention, if you are current- ly without any team to support in the current playoff series-- aha, Winnipeg!--give some thought to these long suffering athletes and pray their empty trophy shelves gets some silver- ware soon. To the Editor, Why do you think it is use- less to vote? Don't you know that in the past your own an- cestors died so you can have the right to vote? Or is his- tory not important to you? When you do vote, you can make a change in your prov- ince, or your city, or even your own street. You are so necessary so that a democ- racy can be successful. If you do not take part, somebody else will, and might take away your right to vote at all. Either be a part of your country or lose the right to be called a Canadian citizen. Ask a refugee what can hap- pen when there is no right to vote. You can be an import- ant person, but only if you choose to vote. Sytske Drijber Aerial views give an interest ing perspective of our past. Pictured is a view from 1960, l o o k i n g o v e r downtown Acton. Photo Credit: Dills Collection