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•T h e IF P • H al to n H ill s •T hu rs d ay , J an ua ry 1 6, 2 01 4 8 Aikido is a non-competitive martial art and powerful form of self-defense. If you have an interest in self-defence using techniques that enable the gentle to overcome the strong based on natural movements and harmony of mind and body, be sure to join us. Everyone is welcome! 29 Armstrong Road, Unit 4, Georgetown (905)873-3080 georgetownaikido.com Saturday January 25th, 2014 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. AIKIDOGEORGETOWN INC. We invite you to join us for our New Dojo Opening & Aikido Open House See Demos byour Students!Adults and Kids! Refreshments will be provided. Bring Your Friends And Family! After recently changing a light bulb in the barn, I've decided there's a con- spiracy out there. It seems the light bulb police are run- ning the world. As of this year, I under- stand we will no longer be able to buy old style incandescent light bulbs. (I'm taking that info with a small grain of salt-- 'they' made a similar announce- ment a few years ago.) Our choices will be limited to those useless compact fluorescent (CF) ones or the much more expensive quartz hal- ogen bulbs. Apparently LEDs are also available, but I'm still waiting to see how costly they are before I commit. I've given CFs a fair shake, replacing many original in- candescent bulbs with CFs. But there's a problem-- they're simply garbage. I had a pair of them in the garage. You know, the cold, dark garage, where we park our cars? Just try a CF in that environment. When it's cold, it takes for- ever to light up. They start to glow, then build up to their full-fledged pathetic light (which is equivalent to a couple birthday candles.) By the time it's up to full brightness, I'm late for work. Then there's our upstairs bathroom. Be- ing old like me, when I get up in the night, I need instant light, not some pathetic glow in the dark. Geez, I need all the help I can get-- and the CFs ain't got it. And in the barn-- well that is the worst case scenario. The stable's cold, that's a given, so the same problem arises as in the garage, only more so, as there was a whole row of bulbs, not one or two. They take much too long to light-- in fact, some won't light at all, they just hang there and flickered. Now when I'm facing a stable full of hungry sheep, or worse still, a ewe giv- ing birth in the middle of the night, well, I really need light-- pronto. The CFs were a short-lived experi- ment in the barn. I switched back to the originals within days. To top it off, in the barn, I have an- other use for incandescent bulbs-- I use them as a heat source. Now before an environmentalist de- clares "Heat uses energy, and we're all for saving energy," well, just hang on a minute. You see, I utilize that heat. My water bowls for the livestock are kept warm by enclosing a 100 watt bulb under them, which creates 100 watts of heat, keeping the bowls from freez- ing. They are connected through a GFI (Ground Fault Interrupter) receptacle, similar to the one in your bathroom, beside the sink. With a GFI, the circuit kicks off before the power can hurt any- one (or a sheep.) I'm really not sure how I'll address the problem once I can no longer buy incandes- cent bulbs. There are heated water bowls with electric elements on the market, but they cost hundreds of dollars. And the hydro used to heat them ver- sus a light bulb? There's a huge difference. So appar- ently we have a deadline, and it's gonna be here before the end of 2014. Now I do have a plan. I'm buying up 12-packs of 100 watt bulbs like some obsessive hoarder. I know they aren't even close to the quality of the old bulbs we used to buy years ago. The new ones are made in China and seem to have about half the life expectancy as the originals. But they are certainly better than nothing. Geez, I'm consid- ering selling 'em on the black market, to others who want to remain enlightened. So for those who are afraid of the dark, (or at least hate the dim light of a CF), go out and buy as many of those bulk packs of incandescent bulbs you can get you hands on, and hide 'em un- der lock and key, to be used when the old ones burn out. That way, we can remain enlight- ened-- at least a little more than those poor individuals embracing CFs. And just watch-- somewhere down the line, someone will 'discover' CFs are hazardous to landfill, or create a health hazard in the home. By then, the others will likely be his- tory and we'll likely be paying a sur- charge to dispose of our CFs. A Ted Bit The light bulb conspiracy-- how long do we really have? TED BROWN Ted Brown can be reached at tbrown@theifp.ca 'It seems the light bulb police are now running the world...'