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7| The IFP -H alton H ills | T hursday,A ugust 2,2018 theifp.ca • Truck Accessories • Upholstery • Heavy Equipment Glass •Window Tinting 354 Guelph Street, Georgetown 905-873-1655 Wehandleall insurance work. We handle all insurance work. • your window & door professionals • 11 Mountainview Rd., N. Georgetown, ON L7G 4T3 905.873.0236 www.buy-wise.ca info@buy-wise.ca • awarded readers choice 27 times • Visit our showroom Furnace Air Conditioning Gaslines Boilers Water Heaters Radiant Heating 905-877-3100 proud local dealer of Canadian made products .ca There's not a person on the face of the earth who hasn't stubbed a toe or nailed a shin on something solid. And, at the same time, I'm almost certain every- one who has felt the afore- mentioned unplanned con- tact with an immovable ob- ject has uttered an exple- tive after nailing that body part. But that's OK. Last year, I came across a report from Keele Uni- versity in England claim- ing that if you let loose with a bout of profanity after hitting your thumb with a hammer, it apparently re- duces the intensity of the pain. The report, posted on the university's website, explained how a research team used volunteers to test their theory. Each sub- merged their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word. They then re- peated the experiment, this time using a tamer word. The researchers found the volunteers were able to keep their hands sub- merged in the ice-cold wa- ter longer when they used the salty language, sug- gesting there is a link be- tween swearing and pain tolerance. Sheesh, that's nothing new. I've known it all along. In my 67 years, I've banged, cut, smashed, pinched or shocked at least all my fingers, a couple toes, both shins and God only knows what else. And without fail, I've pretty much always responded with profanity. My choice of words is slightly influenced by the company present when my body part comes in contact with a solid object. But I still say it - and it feels bet- ter. On top of that, I'm a firm believer that you've got to cut loose once in a while, not only to sooth the pain but to get the taste back in your mouth. To further prove my point, last Monday the Sidekick nailed her finger with the handle of a pitch fork while forking hay into the feeder. She hit the top of the feeder, pinching her finger between the handle and the feeder. (Sort of like hitting her finger with a wooden mallet.) True to form, she treat- ed the unfortunate finger with profanity. I was duly impressed. I figure she must have picked up her vocabulary from her time in the armed forces. And I will admit, her fingertip was a nasty shade of purple. Apparently treating pain with profanity dates back to the beginning of mankind. Even cavemen must have had a few words that weren't socially ac- ceptable. Years ago, I discovered the fine art of swearing isn't limited to adolescents and adults, as we would be quick to assume. I was at an event where a kid jumped up on a chair and nailed her shin on the edge of the chair beside her. Ordinarily, we'd expect a little kid to run crying to her parents. Not her. She cussed like a little trooper. And I bet she felt a whole lot better for it. (Mind you, judging by the response from her mom, I'm sure there were some choice words ex- changed later). Personally, I feel there's a fine art to profanity. It's a true artist who can come up with a new combination of swear words that make other "swearers" stare and observe in a moment of si- lent, sombre respect. So it's official, right from the researchers' mouths: if you bang it, it's OK to swear, 'cause it's gon- na feel better. Naturally, some folks are judgmental with those of us who use earthy lan- guage. But remember: ev- eryone does it, at some point. Even the most staunch church-going little old lady can be brought to drop an F-bomb, with one word. Just yell "BINGO!" at the weekly game. Ted Brown is a free- lance writer for the IFP. He can be reached at ted- bit@hotmail.com. OPINION IF YOU BANG IT, CURSE LIKE A TROOPER UNIVERSITY STUDY SUGGESTS SWEARING CAN HELP REDUCE PAIN'S INTENSITY, WRITES BROWN TED BROWN Column The W.H. Storey & Son Glove Factory in Acton was founded by William Heslop, who became Acton's first Reeve. The building was built in 1882 and demolished in 1962. A year later, the post office that still exists on Bower Street was built on the site. Esquesing Historical Society THEN & NOW Alison Walker photo