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7 | The IFP -H alton H ills | T hursday,M arch 19,2020 theifp.ca 130 Mill Street East, Acton Full & Partial Dentures Implant Retained Dentures Precision Dentures (BPS® Certified) Same Day Service for Repairs & Relines Dental Lab On Site No Referrals Needed 519-853-0079 "It's always darkest be- fore the dawn" ... do say- ings like these ever truly help when you're feeling down, worried, or stressed? Most likely not, and yet, many of us -- meaning well -- have probably said these same things to oth- ers. When people share per- sonal struggles, we proba- bly want to help but may not know what to say. So, we pull out one of these fa- miliar reassurances and hope it does the job. Our hearts may be in the right place, but this kind of glib statement can actually backfire and be interpret- ed as us not wanting to lis- ten or not caring about others' feelings. Chances are, nobody sets out to be dismissive or critical. But, think about the possible unintended messages behind these commonly used sayings and pieces of advice: • "Every cloud has a sil- ver lining." While we often look back at difficult expe- riences and see what we've learned, this comes after the fact rather than in the middle of the struggles. We need to talk about and work through the tough stuff before we can think about what may make things better. It's not al- ways easy, but listening to others' feelings without judgment is the best way to help them do that. • "Just don't think about it." Easier said than done. Feeling like we can't talk about what's on our minds can make us think about it more. Talking about what we're feeling and thinking can bring some perspec- tive and relief, so it's better to ask something like "What do you think would help?" or just listen and let go of the desire to fix the problem. • "I understand how you feel." On the surface, this may sound like a good way to connect, but it can in- stead come across as dis- missive and presumptu- ous. We can hear what oth- ers are saying and try to understand, but we can't fully grasp someone else's unique feelings and expe- riences, and saying that we do can shut down a conver- sation. Something like "I hear you" or "You're feel- ing overwhelmed" is a bet- ter way to go. • "It could be worse," of- ten followed by an example of someone who has it worse. Sure, it could be, but knowing that doesn't necessarily make a pre- sent situation feel less dif- ficult or unpleasant. It may actually shut down conversation by suggest- ing we are judging others' feelings as inappropriate and not worthy of discus- sion. Try to hear their per- spective on their situation -- which is always valid -- rather than comparing it to other possibilities. While it may indeed be darkest before the dawn, talking about and not dis- missing the dark will help work toward the dawn. Melanie McGregor is the communications and advancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/ addiction community support and education. Visit www.halton.cmha.ca for more information and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter. TRY AVOIDING THESE PLATITUDES OPINION WHILE NOT MEANT TO, FREQUENTLY USED SAYINGS CAN END UP DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD, WRITES MELANIE MCGREGOR MELANIE MCGREGOR Column THEN AND NOW This circa 1900 photo shows Wilf Bessey out front of Co-operative Feed Mill at 43 Guelph Street in Georgetown. The site was subsequently the office of The Georgetown Herald until 1992, and the current tenants are shown on the right. Courtesy of Heritage Halton Hills and the Esquesing Historical Society. Alison Walker photo