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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2004 THE NEW TANNER EXPANDED USES? The owners of the Glenlea plaza may open a retail clothing store in the former drug store, a vacant unit in the Queen Street building. The Town's Committee of Adjustment approved expansion of the permitted zoning uses on the property to include-a retail clothing, gift or florist store, following a hearing last Tuesday. The appeal period for that decision expires on March 20. Mia Young, whose family purchased the plaza just over one year ago, said with the IGA plaza nearby, they need the expanded uses to be "more competitive." The existing highway commercial zoning allows a number of uses including indoor car sales, auto trade uses, a tourist establishment, restaurant and tavern. SADDLE UP March Break activities at the library take on a cowboy theme this year with daily quick Wild West crafts, decorations and a contest. The program runs March 16 to 19 and is free to those six-and- up. SPORTS RUS Hockey sticks gave way-to baseball bats and lacrosse sticks at Acton arena on Saturday as several local sports groups, dreaming of spring, held registrations. The Halton Hills Bulldog Lacrosse Association has already begun in-door practices, and house league play begins April and continues until the end of June. The Acton Minor Ball registration table was also busy, signing up kids, four-tol6, for fun, summer house league play. Teams play approximately 20 games per season, beginning in May, with a weekly practice. Before February 28, the cost for all levels is $80, after that it's $90. YOUTH FUNDRAISER Rolly Rocker and the Hemi Heads Sounds are expected to rock the North Halton Golf and Country Club with sounds of the 50s, 60s and 70s on February 28, when entertaining at the President's Gala, fundraiser for the Acton and Georgetown youth centres. Last year's Gala raised $8,500 to help Halton Hills Community Support and Information (HHCSD keep its youth centres --which receive no core funding -- open. The night also includes raffles, a silent auction -- including a hockey stick signed by the Maple Leafs and. other sports memorabilia -- dinner and dance. Tickets are $75 per person, with a tax receipt for a portion of the cost, and are available in Acton at HHCSI's Mill Street office. PHOTOART CONTEST Calling all shutterbugs. Local photographers have until February 28 to enter their work in the 24th annual Halton Hills Camera Club PhotoArt contest, a juried exhibition and sale of photographic art open to adults and children. The adult categories, both black and white and colour prints, include people, creatures and critters, foliage and flowers, objects and abstracts and scenery and architecture. The children's competition -- colour only -- includes people, creatures and critters and any other subject. The exhibition and sale will be held from March 4 to 29 at the Halton Hills Cultural Centre in Georgetown. For details, call Sandra at 905- 877-6198. CAFFEINE CUPID A tiny pink candy heart on the lid of a Tim Hortons takeout coffee cup was one of the sweeter Valentine's Day treats going in Acton this year. Days before Valentine's, veteran Tim Hortons staffer, Gail "Hi, honey" Thompson, was in the spirit, grease pencilling H.V.D. -- for Happy Valentine's Day -- on lids as she dispensed coffee, enthusiastic good cheer and tiny pink hearts, to her loyal customers, all of whom believe she likes them best. Gail's optimism and love of life has not gone unnoticed. In 2000, she was honoured as Acton's first Community Champion, and at the time, explained her infectious happiness. "if I had a problem, it's behind my back and I'm not going to turn around," she said. H.V.D (belatedly), Gail Barbie's world... continued from page 6 set at Christmas and leaving just before the jam session starts. Oh, times are changing. Barbie has moved onto her mid-life crisis with Blaine. Grandparents are now a part of the Barbie world, complete with gray hair and the thicker waistline that was so important to mention in the press release. Will Ken be lost forever with his bad helmet hair, facing the task of starting to date again in his golden years? And we can't forget about Midge who is now expecting her third child. Are congratulations in order for the upcoming birth or do we shake our heads in confusion and wonder why this made the evening news, the front page of major newspapers and had so many people talking about it? 2 SEMI-FORMAL SOIREE: Acton High school students partied hard at their semi-formal at the school last Thursday. -- Frances Niblock photo Ontario, nay, the whole country needs your assistance. We face a serious crisis. No, I'm not talking about that piddling sponsorship mess that P.M. Martin insists on talking about. Canadians face a catastrophe far more serious than the few bucks gone astray that appear to preoccupy our federal politicians. One of our. most precious national symbols has been kidnapped, snatched, stolen, abducted; purloined, if you will. call out the army. OK, forget the army. Their truck has no gas. But I digress. The facts are as plain as the nose on your face. (No offence meant.) To begin the search, we must first answer this question: Who was that with Ron MacLean last Saturday night and what has the CBC (Confused Boobs Covering up?) done with Don Cherry? Like millions of other Canadians I tuned in to Coach's Corner last Saturday night confident that Cherry would tell it like it is. "Boy, are those dorks at the mother corp. and. the nimrods in Ottawa going to get it " I thought. A blow was about to be struck against the insidious forces of political correctness. I was especially smug since several major news organizations had confirmed that the majority of NHL players who wear visors are, in fact, Europeans and/or French guys. Add to that the spectacle of the sophomoric Conan O'Brien actually insulting French Canadians through a puppet. O'Brien's real slurs came courtesy of the provincial government, and the Feds, both of whom ponyed-up a half-mil apiece to lure Conan here. Go to it Don -- hoist 'em on their own petards. "This", I thought, "Will be sweeeet!" What we got was a pretender serving pablum. Bland would be an action verb compared to that broadcast. The Don Cherry look alike was even mellow when speaking about that pipsqueak, \Gary Bettman, who runs (ruins?) Raise the alarm, alert the police, (CITIZENS? ALERT- this is not a ari! The Way | 1 See lt with Mike O'Leary the NHL. What more proof do you need? I enlisted the aid of my resident genetic scientist, daughter Erin, for an opinion as to whether or not we were being duped by a clone. Cloning is a hot topic these days and the CBC (Cherry's Brainwashed Clone?) has buckets of taxpayers' dollars to finance the project. While she agreed "The Corp." is nefarious enough to attempt such an outrage, Erin is forced to admit that the CBC couldn't grow a full sized clone in just a week. What they would have ended up with is a baby with a grey goatee. Even the CBC would figure that someone would notice the switch. So that's not the answer. Plastic surgery -- surely that's how they did it. In a backroom procedure, performed deep within the darkened bowels of Maple Leaf Gardens, surgeons, imported from Russia, crafted a comrade who could pass for Don Cherry. You may think this proposal is simply the raving of a paranoic. Hey -- paranoics have enemies, too. But be en garde. You have been warned. I'll be watching closely next Saturday. If the Don Cherry poseur starts talking about five year plans for the NHL, and suggests substituting a group hug for on-ice fights, we have to "out" the commie bastard. If we let this go on for too long the CBC will have won as memories dim and the truth is obfuscated. Before we know it, small children will be taught in school that Don, in his playing days, was a wuss. They may even go so far with revisionist history as to claim he won the Lady Byng every year he played. It's to make a true fan weep. I think the federal Liberals are snoot-deep in this conspiracy. Think about it. When, in the last 10 years, have you ever heard the feds even claim to be concerned about a few hundred million missing tax dollars? To me, this is the most damning evidence that, in collusion with hundreds of CBC (Commies Being Commies?) vice-presidents, the irascible Cherry has been spirited away and is being held incommunicado. Meanwhile, in a. sop to the masses, a Cherry look alike is presented to parrot the party line. It's a cunning plot worthy of the previously demonstrated Machiavellian machinations pulled-off by the denizens of| Parliament Hill. Do these people have no shame? (Yes, that's a thetorical question.) We need search parties to fan out across the land. "Save Don Cherry" shall be our cry. Search everywhere that children gather for a pick-up game of pond hockey. Don's captors are dastardly enough to imprison him where the sight of pure hockey will only add to his misery. The cads! Check the dry cleaner's receipts. If you uncover a bill for $38 to wash and starch one shirt call 1-800-Free Don. Operators are standing ready to co-ordinate all tips. Once we have a line on where Don is being held we can dispatch a rescue squad composed of enforcers from Kingston and Saskatchewan. Under the command of Sergeant- Major Domi, we'll thrash the visor-wearing kidnappers to within an inch (not 2.5 cm) of their miserable lives. Friends, real Canadians are counting on your involvement. Don must be freed; it's as simple as that. The price of failure is too horrible to contemplate. It's just a rumour, but I heard the CBC plans to shuffle the Coach's Corner deck. Peter Mansbridge will be the straight man and Michelle Landsburg will read from the Liberal's Red Book accompanied by Bob Rae on the piano. 2 Start searching now!