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B "Because I wasn‘t interested in dating girls, my father would make remarks like: ‘What are you, a fag?‘ For a long time, I denied I was gay," he said. "It took me a while to answer the question as to whether or not I could accept this as my lifestyle." eing homosexual isn‘t something you choose, said all three young people. They acknowledged that it‘s probably biological, something they confronted during puberty when they discovered they were attracted to members of the same gender. They‘ve accepted it now as part of their individuality but they probably wouldn‘t have chosen it a few years ago â€" if they‘d had a choice. However, acceptance of who you are doesn‘t give a homosexual much comfort when faced with a hostile society. Perhaps being forced to face up to it was the reason 19â€"yearâ€"old Debbie seemed so mature. (‘ it a secret from Sheryl‘s father. The 22â€"yearâ€"old prob bly wouldn‘t have disclosed her sexual tendencies if she hadn‘t taken the plunge and started a group for he three young people sitting in the living room of Sheryl‘s apartment affirmatively nodded their way through this anonymous letter as it was read to them. They well understood the feeling behind it. "Coming out" and admitting you‘re homosexual takes courage. They know. They‘re homosexual, too. "Of the three of us, Sheryl is the only one that‘s completely out," said Debbie who didn‘t want her real name used. Sheryl said she was lucky. Her mother has known about her lesbianism for eight years, although both kept it a secret from Sheryl‘s father. The 22â€"yearâ€"old probaâ€" By BARB JOY Oakville Beaver Staff m o4 m s"ore® maanv or Leaaming Mabuilia®s Rueinnee Eahaal 7 GET INTO COMPUTERS IN 1993 ACCPAC. DOS. dBASE I decided I could lie to myself for the rest of my life Oakville‘s Business School The painful difference 338â€"6600 Computerized aerobics â€" life cycles, stairmasters, life rowers Saunas *« Sunâ€"Bed Qualified staff to individualize your program Try a EFREE Workout where the professional athletes train. circuits of Nautilus equipment wergnts SERVICES OFFERED Weather Ruin Your Don‘t Let Winter Game Golf THE GYM is my preference from the friendly, knowledgeable and helpful staff to the very clean and up to date equipment. As a professional football player I have been in and out of a lot of gyms. But never have I found a workout facility that had so much to offer. THE GYM offers me everything I need to stay professionally competitive I dream the same dreams as do you â€" for a successful career, a comfortable lifestyle, an ability to make a difference in the world â€" and most of all for the experience of being with another, of being accepted totally for who I am, strengths and weaknesses alike, of learning to share with another all that life has to offer, in the way of pain and joy alike. In the most intimate of relationships â€" like you, I long to share my whole being, including my sexuality. Then, why am I afraid to tell you who I am, seeing that we have so much in common? I am different from you in possibly one respect, that of my homosexuality. I am homosexual. My most intimate caring experience will be in sharing with a member of my own gender. Can you still accept me for who I am? â€" do you feel so very different from me? â€" are we, after all, more alike than different? From my earliest awareness of who I was, I knew that my sexuality, like yours, was a given, not a choice. As I watched you struggle with your other givens, which made you unlike the majority, 1 wonâ€" dered if you too knew the pain of being different â€" and would understand and love me anyway. Like skin color, or race, or handedness â€" will you accept me for who 1 am? Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? In any group of 10 people, I am one of you. I grew up in your neighborhood, attended your school, gathered with you in your place of worship weekly, played on your school teams with you, competed with you academically, perhaps even sat at your family dinner table, counted you as a friend. I worry about the same issues as do you â€" the environment, world peace, the disintegration of the family, the meaning of existence. DAN FERRONE RIGHT OFFENSIVE GUARD TORONTO ARGONAUTs &8 * 10 week nautilus diet * Executive program (personal trainer) * Aerobic classes dailyv. low & hish for your protection & comfort * Qualified instructors impact, step â€" $195.00/6â€"month * Specially designed aerobic floor UCENSED BY THE L.L,BOAI LEISURE karai ~ ~Jear rornk Toronto Argonauts Focus on SEexuaLITYy E OAKVILLE BEAVER WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 1993 Sincerely FOEFE SFASC®NSS low & high (+Y 11 Lakeshore Rd. W., Oakville A Tradition In Personal Service Since 1982 THE 4 TILUS SPORTS MEDICAL 844â€"1610 Training for Olympic Games is a full time job. As in any job, success in sport is the result of hard work. However, it is important to me that my training also be enjoyable. At THE GYM I have found an enjoyable, relaxed and friendly training environment where all my training objectives can still be met. B and have everyone accept me for it. Or I could not lie to myself and have people not accept me for it," she said. "I had to be honest with myself. But it took a long time." As it stands now, she has found complete acceptance from "more mature" friends she‘s met since graduating from high school, but she has kept it a secret from forâ€" mer school chums. Eric wrestled with his inner turmoil all through high school and only last year at college did he find a health group in which he could talk about himself and feel comfortable doing it. "I finally told a couple of friends and they told everyone," he laughed. "Everyone accepted me." fiiE&A D _ cnvironment for the estimated one in 10 people â€" even in Oakville â€" that‘s gay. "Probably not many will come out about it because most of them can‘t talk to their parents and they won‘t talk to their guidance counsellors at school. Why should they? "These are the people who report back to their parâ€" ents. These are the last people you‘re going to talk to," said Sheryl. ut that was in Toron to gay couples, he s white" Oakville, the â€" no acceptance, n environment for the people â€" even in 0 "Probably not many will com most of them can‘t talk to their t When she started the youth group in November, she called all the public high schools in Oakville, but none of them was really interested in publicizing the new group. Nor do they seem interested in including discusâ€" sions about homosexuality in their health curriculum, even though they talk about many other aspects of sexâ€" uality, she said. Being able to discuss one‘s homosexuality in an open and free manner could reduce the number of suiâ€" cides committed by an estimated one in every 10 homoâ€" sexuals, said Debbie. No one knows the exact number since it isn‘t likely a note would be left for parents explaining why the perâ€" son could no longer deal with life, Eric observed. Discussions and information might also lead to the death of a few myths, as these three discovered once they faced their homosexuality. For instance, in a lesbian (a word Debbie hates) relaâ€" tionship, one partner is not always obviously aggressive (the male counterpart) and the other submissive (female counterpart). LARRY CAINE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST CANOEING â€" 1984 PAGE 11 are the people who report back to their par : are the last people you‘re going to talk to, See ‘Media influences oc fuav Miller Real Estate Ltd JOIN OUR 11th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS Toronto where s, he said. In "c le, there‘s noth PAUL SCHELL Enquire About Our Payment Plan REALTOR ales Representative nto where services cater said. In "completely ere‘s nothing for gays no services. It‘s a stark e estimated one in 10 845â€"9180 page 12)