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Recalling the terrible old toilet tour And, of course, it was my wife who then gazed down at her neat Mickey Mouse Mood Watch and swore it was time to waltz off to work, leaving me to deal with our dear son Scott, and the Titanic task of toilet trainine. It was my wife who then swept like a tornado into our basement and rescued from storage all the vital tools of the toiletâ€"training trade â€" one tiny perfect potty and about a dozen pairs of those awful sixâ€"inchâ€" thick underpants tykes in training wear so they don‘t pee all over the furniture you recently secured on a cenerous line of credit. I blame The Terrible Old Toilet Tour of ‘93 (tâ€"shirts available upon request) on my wife. It was my wife who suggested our dear son Scott, who is quickly closing in on his third birthday, was ready to drop his diaper and partake in potty practice, a little tiny tush toiâ€" let training. spent the past week on a whirlâ€" wind tour â€" an extensive, exhaustive tour of our town‘s toilets. I f I seem weary it‘s because I‘ve "Good luck," my wife said as she made for the door. From a distance of twenty paces, I wound up and let her have it â€" Whack! â€" a pair of When she was gone, I sat down and asked myself whether toilet training a tyke was really such a big deal for me, an experienced, erudite Man of the 90s. Damn right, I answered. Because, as an experienced, eruâ€" dite Man of the 90s, I am fully aware that improper, inadequate, unsucâ€" sixâ€"inchâ€"thick underpants right in the kisser. you‘ve BEENGRUMPY \EVER SINCE Yougot _ HOME FROM SCHOOL. Studies conducted by lab rats observing tinkling tots for eons on end have shown that improperly, inadequately, unsuccessfully toiletâ€" trained tykes tend to grow up and experience severe personality disorâ€" ders. Many such illâ€"trained kids actually become criminals (robbers, cessful toilet training can emotionalâ€" ly and psychologically scar a person for life. YOU CAN TELL ME... . WHY ARE youcRuMâ€" (ROSS AVBNUE CAMML $ LARGEST FWG al QAOMLLES LORGEST OGLER 2W wiy5s ROBERT Conversely, studies reveal that children who are toilet trained propâ€" erly often become wellâ€"rounded, wellâ€"adjusted pillars of society â€" doctors, professors, lifestyle columâ€" nists and the like... I was Stlll sitting, still contemplat: uer ‘Kepuq mass murderers, Revenue Canada tax accountants) or, worse, politiâ€" cians. ught to ou urtesy of the SO GRUMPY2. se suingw (See ‘Best‘ page 8) by Steve Nease is