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THE OAKVILLE BEAVER Friday. April 1. 1994 â€"6 . rough Mirror. . All material published in the Oakville Beaver is protected by copymm;iny 467 Speers Road, Oakville, Ont. L6K 354 845â€"3824 Fax: 845â€"3085 Classified Advertising: 845â€"2809 Circulation: 845â€"9742 or 845â€"9743 s 1s'he OalévJIIeOBek?lvlfn publish?d hevry St;and: 7 Wedne;dg( s;nd T%ayi rzl ?67 j rs Rd., Oakville, is one of the Metroland Printing, Publishin istributing Ian Ollver Publl‘Sh-er Ll%e,e group of suburban neévspapevs which inc.! r‘:a"s: Ajaéâ€"P?ckCeril?g Nm ; Advertiser, Barrie Advance, Brampton Guardian, Burlington Post, Collin Robert GlaSbey Advemsmé) Director Conne«:fio?.h Etoicote Eue'ljrdian.rfieo elo:m hl‘ndifiemgeEm/ Acton 'Freed r;ss. Kingston This Week, Lindsay This Week, Marknam Economist and Sun, Norman Alexander Editor Stouttvile/Ubridge Tribune. Miton Canadian Champion, Missiccauga News: Newmarketâ€"Aurora Eraâ€"Banner, Nort lrror, ile Beaver, Orillia Geoff Hill Circulation Director Today, Oshawa/Whitby This Week, Peterborough This Week, Richmond HiV Teri Casas Office Manager in Scarbot Tim Coles Production Manager reproduction in whole or in part of this material is strictly forbidden wi the consent of the publisher. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of the advertising space occut ied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate. The publisher reserves the right to calegorize and reject advertising. In the event of typographical error, advertising goods or services at the wrong price, goods or services may not be sold. Advertising is merely an offer to sell and may be withdrawn at any time. EDITORIAL Old politics ome things never change. When the Liberals were elected, we were S assured by Prime Minister Jean Chretien that his would be a newâ€"look government that would govern in a new way. Unfortunately, we have seen this week that ‘new‘ Liberal government has just continued what a previous Liberal government and the last Tory government loved to do. And that‘s to try and buy Quebec‘s loyalty through a parade of grandiose projects that cost the rest of Canada dearly. Will these people never learn? The latest multiâ€"million dollar giveaway, is the decision to locate the Commission for Environmental Coâ€"operation in Montreal. This agency is one of three soâ€"called watch dog agencies set up under the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). The Trade Commission will be located somewhere in Mexico and the Labor Commission is located in Dallas Texas. The complete hypocrisy of Finance Minister Paul Martin, in making the announcement, is almost breathâ€"taking. It was the worst kind of voteâ€"buyâ€" ing party politics yet seen under this new administration. Here was Martin, a Montreal MP., telling the press that Montreal was chosen over other Canadian centres because other international agencies are located there, hat Montreal is a transport hub and most laughably, that Montreal has a great environmental record. Martin‘s little routine should have been made at the national Museum of Humor...but of course it couldn‘t because it‘s bankrupt after the former fedâ€" eral government of Brian Mulroney sunk millions of dollars into the illâ€" conceived project. To put a sharper edge on the announcement, Martin was flanked by Quebec Liberal Premier Daniel Johnson who must fight an election this year against the separatist Parti Quebecois and Montreal Mayor Jean Dore, himself looking for a boost as he heads into a fall election campaign. Let‘s examine Martin‘s criteria for locating the agency in Montreal. Toronto is a far greater transportation hub than Montreal and Vancouver, with its exposure to the Orient, is fast catching up. And if there‘s one area where Montreal, and the rest of Quebec stand number one, it‘s in their complete disinterest in things environmental. You know, little things like still pumping raw sewage into the St. Lawrence River and taking no steps to correct the problem. Then, having offered what he felt were concrete reasons why other cities like Ottawa, Hamilton and Toronto had been passed over, we got down and dirty. And who better to dish the dirt than deputy prime minister and, ironiâ€" cally Hamilton East MP, Sheila Copps. Copps said Ontario Premier Bob Rae‘s stance on NAFTA hurt the province‘s chances. It would be ‘embarrassing‘ Copps said, to have such a home for the commission. What would really be embarrassing for the Mexicans and Americans, not to mention Canadians, would be for the home of the commission to leave the country and set out on its own. And that could happen within the next 18 months. Then we had the windowâ€"dressing of a 250 page report on the 25 conâ€" tenders for the commission which didn‘t even make a recommendation. That, of course, was left to Ms. Copps. Said the deputy PM: "In the end, we are a political party that makes political decisions." So much for the muchâ€"quoted ‘Red Book‘ and different Liberal politics. It‘s the same old gang using appeasement as tool for political power. You‘d think the Liberals would have learned their lesson. Seems not. 2. [ WEEKIYPOLL _ T THE OAKVILLE BEAVER â€" Will the Toronto Blue Jays finish on top of their division this season? Cast your ballot by calling 845â€"5585, box 5008 to vote. Callers have until 12 noon Thursday to register their vote. Results of the poll will be published in the next Friday edition of the Oakville CALLB45â€"5585 ! eaver. RESULTS OF LAST WEEK‘S POLL Should the province reduce the amount of money paid to welfare recipients? Yes: 96 No: 6 ~COMMENT When it comes to our language, Mr. Black has the last bon mot Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind. â€" Rudyard Kipling I always wanted to write a book that ended with the word mayonâ€" naise.â€" Richard Brautigan hat a wonderful thing is the simple word, writâ€" F $ ten â€" or spoken. Mountains don‘t have them. Neither do sunsets or hurricanes or falcons or cheetahs. Words are ours alone, we twoâ€"legged, nearly hairless bipeds. We missed out on fangs and talons and wings and muscle mass, but we got, by thunder, the gift of words. An ocean of syllables and consonants to mix and match at will. And mix and match we do. My herniaâ€"threatening _ Merriamâ€" Webster lists more than a half a milâ€" lion entries, and the experts tell me that‘s just a little over half the total number of words in the language. And that‘s just the English lanâ€" guage. There are about 9,000 other languages and dialects around the world. Words, words, wonderful words. "Googol" â€" now there‘s a nifty word. You know what a googol is? A googol is a word for a number so huge it‘s virtually useless. Write down the number 1. Now write 100 zeroes after it. That‘s a googol. There are oodles of words that don‘t get their due. How about duff? Any woodsman knows that one â€" it‘s the decayinig material you â€"â€" t find on the forest floor. Dottle? Ask a pipesmoker. He (or she) will tell you dottle is the residual gunk that‘s left in the bottom of the pipe bowl after it goes out. And how about / â€" that slash separates words and the numbers in fractions like 1/2 or 1/4? Well, that‘s called a solidus. Some prefer separatrix or virgule. How do I know all this off the top of my head? Are you kidding/serious? I looked it up. And speaking of fractions â€" do you know what an eighth note is called? A quaver. And a sixteenth note is a semiâ€"quaver. Want to guess what a sixtyâ€" fourth note is called? + A hemidemisemiquaver. Trust me â€"I looked that up too. Then there‘s the bad words. You see them in cartoons from time to time. The roadrunner outfoxes Wiley Coyote by decoying him into a freight train and Wiley picks himâ€" self up, dusts himself off, and the thought balloon over his frazzled head says something like, "When I get my paws on that @ # * varmint...!" That‘s what cartoonists call a maledicta balloon. And they have names for every offâ€"color squiggle that appears in them. Names like grawlix, nittles, jarns, and quimp. That blur of feet when. the roadâ€" runner takes off? Those are called blurgits. The sweat drops on Wiley‘s brow are plewds. The dust cloud the roadrunner leaves behind? That‘s a briffit. Words, glorious words. The spike that some candlesticks sport â€"to hold the candle is known as the pricket. The steel tip of an umbrelâ€" la? A ferrule. The part of a shoe or boot that goes over the arch of the foot: the vamp. Even a simple mainsail on a boat contains such mysteries as a leech, a reef cringle, a clew, a luff zipper, and a telltale window. An ordinary suburban bungalow roof can feature purlins, gussets, soffits, and fascia. Actually, you don‘t have to go beyond your own personal boundâ€" aries to find littleâ€"known â€" and marâ€" velous â€" words at work. That dimâ€" ple between the bottom of your nose and your upper lip is your philtrum. That isthmus of flesh that separates your nostrils is your sepâ€" tum. Your body is a symphony of uncelebrated syllables from your pinkie finger (minimus) down to your hallux (big toe). Ah yes, and we haven‘t even touched upon the metacarpophaâ€" langeal creases on your hands or the tragus of your ears, but I‘m past my deadline and I see the editor loomâ€" ing. He‘s got plewds practically jumping off his forehead, and if I‘m reading his lips properly, he‘s just called me a malingering @ * ! ##. As Dorothy Parker might say, excuse my briffit. . .