Oakville Beaver, 8 May 1994, p. 6

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OPINION n m All material published in the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Tim Coles Production Manager reproduction in whole or in part of this material is strictly Topided whout the consent of the publisher. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of the advertising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for ; at the applicable rate. The publisher reserves the right to categorize and reject advertising. In the event of typographical error, advertising goods or services at the wrong prga, goods or services may not be sold. Advertising is merely an offer to sell and may be withdrawn at any time. Classified Advertising: 845â€"2809 Circulation: 845â€"9742 or 845â€"9743 Ian Oliver Publisher Robert Glasbey Advertising Director Norman Alexander Editor Geoff Hill Circulation Director Teri Casas Office Manager Tim Coles Production Manager The Oakville Beaver, published every Sunday, Wednes lt‘xsnml Friday, at 467 Speers Rd., Oakville, is one of the Metroland n?ck Distributing Ltd. group of suburban newspapers which mclu s: Ajaxâ€"Pickering News Advertiser, Barrie Advance, Brampton Guardian, Burlington Post, C Connection, Etobicoke Guardian, lown I n Acton Free . Kingston This Lindsay This Week, Markham Economist and Sun, Stoutfvi Tribune, Mitton Canadian Chamon Mississauga Nsws Newmarketâ€"Aurora Eraâ€"Banner, North York Mirror, Oakville Beavef Orillia Today, Oshawa/Whitby This Week, Peterborough This Week, Richmond HilÂ¥ Thomhil/Vaughan Liberal, Scarborough Mirror. All material published in the Oakville Beaver is protected by copy Any rod le or in part of this material is strictly forbidden vmloul Clearly, this Iaw was a serious violation of the Charter guaranteed freedom of speech. However, the politicians did not care. Their only interest was to establish for themselves an effective monopoly on election debate. Last year, the Tory government rammed a truly draconian law through the House of Commons which essentially would have made it illegal for indepenâ€" dent citizens to peaceably express political opinions through advertisements durine elections. In short, this election gag law â€" sections of Bill Câ€"114 â€" threatened citizens with up to five years imprisonment if they independently spent more than $1,000 to support or oppose political parties or candidates during federal elecâ€" tions. Thank goodness... they did not get away with it. Thanks to the generous support of The National Citizens‘ Coalition, I was able to challenge this law in the courts and win. On June 25th, 1993, in a historic and powerful ruling, the Alberta Court of Queen‘s Bench struck down the law as unconstitutional. The court rightly ruled that the gag law violated the freedoms of expression and association, and the richt to an informed vote. Dear Sir: It is now apparent that Jean Chretien‘s Liberals are not all that different from Brian Mulroney‘s Tories, at least when it comes to stifling freedom of speech. Unbelievably, under this law, citizens could have been jailed for paying more than $1,000 to run a newspaper ad which simply read "Support Canada â€" Don‘t Vote BQ." Undeterred by this setback, the shortâ€"lived government of Prime Minister Kim Campbell decided to appeal that ruling. Before it could take any action, however, it was driven from office. That‘s where the Liberals come in. Instead of scrapping the appeal, they have shown themselves to be just as determined as the Conservatives were to put the election gag back on Canadians. In fact, they recently filed with the Alberta Court of Appeal the arguments which they will use. They are, to say the least, bizarre. First, the government admits that the election gag law violates Canadians‘ freedom of speech, but maintains that this violation is justified in a free and democratic society in order to make elections "fair". â€"In fact, the Liberals have picked up exactly where the Conservatives left off in that department. The government admits, however, that it has no actual evidence to justify the gag law. In fact, in its factum, the government says it is impossible to prove that independent spending during elections by citizens to express their political views does harm to the electoral process. Needless to say, the Liberal government has an extremely weak case, and like the Tories before them, they are about to get a judicial lesson in freedom. David Somerville President, The National Citizens‘ Coalition Between 1982 and 1992 museums were the biggest percentage gainers in terms of attendance among arts activities. Historic parks, on the other hand, fell significantly in popularity during the same period. # Art museum Art/craft fairs Plays Jazz Ballet Opera Classical music Musicals Historic park Arts activity Gagged again 467 Speers Hoad Oakvnlle, 845â€"3824 Fax: 845â€"3085 26.7% 40.7% 13.5% 10.6% 4.7% 3.3% 12.:5% 17.4% 34.5% 22.1% 39.0% 11.9% 9.6% 4.2% 3.0% 13.0% 18.6% 39.0% % change 4.6% 1.7% 1.6% 1.0% 0.5% 0.3% â€"0.5% â€"1.2% ~4.5% "Instant Romance". That‘s what the box promised, in big, bold letters. Wow, I thought. That‘s a pretâ€" ty big promise, coming from such a small box. I mean, this box, which was no taller than a toy terrier and no wider than a wallaby, was not guaranteeing something as easily attainable as decent ratings. for the CBC or lasting peace between Tom and Roseanne Arnold â€" this box was promising romance, for goodness sake, and instant at that. I‘d discovered this (apparentâ€" ly) magic box abandoned by the fireplace at a condo we‘d annexed for a brief respite up in Fun Country, Muskoka. For a moment, I stood staring at the cardboard container, pondering its potent promise, and wonderâ€" ing whether it could actually deliver. Yes, I was wary. Because I‘ve found that all things advertised as "instant" â€" from coffee to cureâ€" alls â€" are inferior to their slower, more sensible counterparts. Also, I‘m more than slightly suspicious of anything that lays claim to aphrodisiac powers. My suspiâ€" cions are born in experience... Back when I was a teenager, in the days when my wants and wishes and desires were more lusty than lofty, I went searching for an aphrodisiac that would make my girlfriend mental with desire, or, at least, put her "in the mood." Naturally, my search began and ended with my brother, who is five years my senior, and as such was my own personal Dr. Ruth, an obvious expert in the field in which I most desired a little expertise. Pondering the potent promise of instant romance "You know what puts girls in the mood every time?" he asked. I had no notion what could possiâ€" bly put a girl in the mood even some of the time. So my big brother advised (and he seemed pretty darn sure of himself): "Gin, man, gin." That weekend, armed with all of my big brother‘s worldly advice, and a mickey of gin, I ambulated over to my girlfriend‘s house. We proceeded to drink that clear intoxicating Ichor Of The Sex Gods â€" mixed with ginâ€" gerale, if your taste buds can imagine â€"â€" until our sensual appetites were whetted, our desires inflamed, our libidos lubed; until we were transformed into two wild beats, uncaged, and primed for passion... After unceremoniously dumpâ€" ing my brother as my own perâ€" sonal Dr. Ruth, I moved on to try all of the other soâ€"called aphroâ€" disiacs with which I‘m sure you‘ve all experimented â€" raw oysters, whipped cream, peacock feather soup, eye of knute, saucy red.underwear, Prozac, that sort Hey, we were wazooed! Absolutely blotto! Of course, the room started spinning. And we threw up. All over everything. All over ourselves. All night. (As an ironic aside, I duly note that gin contains Juniper berries to which many otherwise healthy humans have severe, adverse reactions. So remember, as my neighbors always say: beware of those damn Junipers!) of thing. None of the above worked especially well. Then I got marâ€" ried and had kids. And while I remain skeptical about the effecâ€" tiveness of aphrodisiacs, I am certain there are things that are foolproof as antiâ€"aphrodisiacs. My wife and I call these things "our boys." And while we love ‘em, they drain our every last ounce of energy, leaving us too tired to... My wife found me on the condo floor, cursing. I gave the box by the fireplace closer examination, curious to know what it contained, what the contents were that would lead to instant romance. I read the cardâ€" board container‘s smaller print and learned the box, packaged by a Canadian wine maker, held the following: one bottle of chamâ€" pagne; two champagne flutes; two candles; two candle holders; matches; ice bucket... "All you add is ice!" the bottom line declared. Hey, I had ice to add. Of course, I succumbed to the temptation, to this recipe for romance. I lunged at the box. I ripped it open. It was empty. A previous occupant of the condo had already attempted to indulge in instant romance, leaving me with nothing but an empty box to be flattened and fed to our blue box. "Hey," she said, "brighten up. Our neighbors have taken in our boys for dinner. We‘re alone for a while, just you and me." "Alone?" I said. "No kids? Just you and me?" My wife nodded. I grinned sloppily. "For some weird reaâ€" son," my wife said, "I have a craving for gin." Ahhh, instant romance. PPa

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