Oakville Beaver, 15 May 1994, p. 6

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â€"Editorial Robert Glasbey Advertising DireCtOT Connection, Elobicoke M-WWGW%“ Norman Alexander Editor Kingston This Week, Lindsay This Week, Economist and Sun, Wvlldwwdoo Tribune, Canadian Champion, Mississauga News, Geoff Hill Circulation Director Newmarketâ€"Aurora Eraâ€"Banner, %nnmmmo-mmomu Today, Oshawa/Whitby This Week, Peterborough This Week, Richmond HIF Tim Coles Production Manager m%‘mm?“ma»th””““%”” en Etss Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of the advertisi e ied by the ammfimw%wmammnfihaflmmbrsmlm,fium bsdwpdfonhpfiwbnhmdmd?;mm be for; at the applicable rate. The publisher reserves the right to categorize and reject advertising. In the event of typographical error, advertising goods : rent system. One major problem with the current system is that many of the people in charge have earned their positions through political patronage rather than through their own experience or expertise. Think about it for a minute. Judging whether someone deserves to be returned to society without posing a threat to others is hardly an exact science. The consequences of an improper decision can have a profound and often tragic affect on the rest of society, yet in many cases the people making those decisions have earned their position because of their political ties. Take the case of Montreal lawyer Michel Dagenais, who was appointed the head of the National Parole Board because of his close friendship with then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney. Dagenais was recently relieved of his position following a damaging appearance before a House of Commons justice committee. Among other things, evidence presented during the hearing revealed an official who resigned was later reâ€"hired to assess the performance of other parole board members. The reason for his resignation â€" the official had been involved in the decision to release a convicted murderer who later stabbed and raped a New Brunswick woman. While Dagenais cannot be held solely to blame for all the problems in the parole system, it was clearly time for him to leave. _ While the Liberal promise to end patronage appointments to the parole board is long overdue, it remains to be seen whether they will keep their promise. For everyone‘s sake, we hope they do. While no one can accurately predict what will happen when a convicted criminal is paroled, it only makes sense having qualified people making those decisions instead of unqualified friends of the ruling government. omething is clearly amiss with our parole system. Frequent news reports of crimes committed by individuals released on parole â€" especially violent crimes such as murder â€" do little to encourage faith in the curâ€" Time for change 467 Speers Road, Oakville, Ont. L6K 3S4 845â€"3824 Fax: 845â€"3085 Classified Advertising: 845â€"2809 Circulation: 845â€"9742 or 845â€"9743 ?â€" t was with mixed emotions : that I received the news k. that Aunt Myrtle had passed away. Mixed, because Aunt Myrtle was a sweet, harmâ€" less old crone who had never, in 83 years, done an intentional nasty to another earthling. On the other hand, she was responsible for the ugliest preâ€" sent I ever saw. It was truly hideous. A moose clumsily handcrafted from lucite, standing on a chunk of paving stone intended to represent a rocky summit somewhere on the Precambrian shield. And Aunt Myrtle gave it to me as a wedding present. Which, of course, meant I couldn‘t have the horror melted down into a bowling ball, or leave it out by the curb to await adoption by some passerby with even lousier taste than Aunt Myrtle... no. I had to keep the damned thing, on the off chance that Aunt Myrtle might drop in and wonder why it wasn‘t standing over the fireplace. No more, hurrah. Aunt Myrtle has gone to her reward and the mutant moose is about to, just as soon as I can score a cardboard box big enough to hold it. Unwanted gifts. Did you ever wonder how much loot we waste on gifts we give to peoâ€" ple who hate them? Those fluoâ€" rescent ties all Dads get at Christmas and on Father‘s Day? The bottles of perfume you Exchange of useless gifts is billionâ€"dollar business sprayed dog? The plaid socks? The hardcover books even the author‘s mother wouldn‘t read? The fondue sets? The lucite mooses? â€" Well, wonder no more. I don‘t know how much we Canucks throw away on such stuff, but an economics profesâ€" sor at Yale University has calâ€" culated that of the $40â€"billion Yanks spend each year swapâ€" ping presents back and forth, somewhere between $4â€"billion and $10â€"billion is thrown away on stuff the recipient hates on sight â€" a "deadweight loss" is how Professor Waldfogel describes it. And it‘s not just useless gifts. When it comes to ethnic protocol, some gifts are downâ€" right offensive. It is a profoundly bad idea to gift wrap a Black Forest Ham for an Israeli, or to give a miniskirt to an orthodox Muslim. ever give cowboy boots to a Hindu â€" not if they‘re made out of cowhide. Cows are sacred beasts in India. Some gift gaffes are less obvious. You can insult a Japanese businessman by offerâ€" ing him a souvenir letter openâ€" er. 7 Dy Y3 _yuu LV aUIIO: horaddria! | B Symbolically, you‘re advisâ€" And don‘t show up on a Guatemalan doorstep with a fistful of white flowers. In Guatemala, white flowers are for funerals. It‘s an altogether tricky busiâ€" ness, giving gifts. It reminds me of the story of Phil Silvers â€" the American comedian who gained TV immortality as Sergeant Bilko. Silvers was a very wealthy man, and reputed to be "the man who has everything". But he had a wealthier friend who was determined to buy Silvers a present that would wow him. The friend invited Silvers to spend a weekend at his mansion in Beverley Hills. Silvers showed up Friday night at the wheel of a magnificent burâ€" gundy Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. "My mechanic‘s not busy this weekend," said the host. "Why don‘t you let him give your car a little tuneâ€"up?" Silvers shrugged assent. Unknown to the comedian, his car was whisked away to a garage where a team of experts worked around the clock to install a builtâ€"in mahogany bar, a hiâ€"fi system, a color televiâ€" sion, and a VCR. On Sunday evening as Silvers was preparing to depart, his host had his renovated car brought around to the front. "You might want to check out your jalopy," murmured the host, "just to see if it runs any better." "Ah, who cares?" replied

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